Letters to a Newsroom
by Mark Evanier
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 9/15/95
Comics Buyer's Guide
The following letters have been edited for length and some names have been changed.
October 23, 1990
Mr. William Falk
News Director
KCLU-TV
Dear Mr. Falk —
I have just watched your Ten O'Clock News for this evening and I thought I would take you up on your offer, generously made at the close of the broadcast, to write to you if I had a question on your news program.
At the close of your "Entertainment News" section, your anchor-person said — and I am here paraphrasing but the numbers are exact — "A new survey says that the average American child will view over twenty million television commercials by the time he or she is sixty-five years old."
This is a shocking statistic — so shocking that I just had to get out my little calculator and do the math on this. The way I figure it, if a child starts watching immediately upon birth — straight out of the womb — that child would have to see 307,692 commercials (give or take a station break) per year to have viewed twenty million by the close of his/her sixty-fifth year.
307,692 commercials works out to almost 843 commercials per day. This is an awful lot of commercials. Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that our "average child" has no need for sleep, no need for schooling and is so wealthy as to never need to leave the TV in order to go to work. Our "average child" is therefore able to watch TV for twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year for sixty-five years and never watches cable or public television. This still works out to about thirty-five commercials per hour.
Even with deregulation, I do not believe the F.C.C. allows any TV station to broadcast thirty-five commercials per hour. In the hour following your news program, your station broadcast (I counted) twenty commercials.
My first question is how any of this is possible. My second question is where you found this survey. And I guess my third and fourth questions are whether anyone in your newsroom has a calculator and if anyone thought the "twenty million" figure might have sounded a wee bit high.
Puzzled by it all,
Mark Evanier
October 31, 1990
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Evanier,
Thank you for your recent communique regarding our "News at Ten." I can assure you that our staff thoroughly researched the matter in question and that we stand by the efforts of our staff. Should the item in question subsequently prove to warrant it, additional information and clarification will be broadcast.
We appreciate your interest and trust that you will continue as a steady viewer of "News at Ten."
Very Truly Yours,
William Falk
November 2, 1990
Mr. William Falk
News Director
WCLU-TV
Dear Mr. Falk —
Thank you for your letter about my letter but I'm afraid that your letter did not address the central point of my letter.
Since you're doubtlessly a busy man, I'll refresh your memory. On your broadcast of 10/23/90, you broadcast a news item claiming that, by the time he or she is sixty-five, the Average American child will have viewed twenty million commercials.
I did the math on this "statistic" and discovered that it divides out to over 800 commercials watched a day. I suggested that common sense would tell us that it is physically impossible for anyone to watch 800 commercials per day. If you watched TV steadily for ten hours a day — which would be a lot — you would see approximately 200 commercials.
My question is where you got this statistic and whether you really believed it is true.
Repetitively,
Mark Evanier
December 6, 1990
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Evanier,
My apologies for the delay in answering yours of 11/2 but we are shorthanded here and I was out with a bout of the flu for a time.
I have referred your query to the researcher who handled that particular segment. You will be hearing directly from him shortly.
Thank you again for your interest and we look forward to your continued viewing of "News at Ten."
Very Truly Yours,
Bill Falk
January 10, 1991
Bill Falk
News Director
KCLU-TV
Dear Bill —
Remember me? I'm the pain-in-the derriere who wrote you a couple letters last year about a "statistic" of dubious accuracy that you broadcast on "News at Ten" back then.
Your news anchor reported that, by the time he or she is sixty-five, the Average American child will view twenty million TV commercials. I wrote, asking what the source of this figure was and also pointing out that this number was ridiculous. You said that a researcher would be in touch to explain the source of this statistic but, so far, I have heard nothing. I realize that the holidays mess up everyone's schedule but,as a working professional in the TV industry, I am genuinely interested in this statistic and would like to uncover its source and substantiation.
While I've got you here: According to the 1990 Information Please Almanac, issued by Houghton-Mifflin, page 744, the Average American over the age of two watches a little under thirty hours of television a week. Assuming this Average American doesn't watch cable or public broadcasting, he or she would have to see 197 commercials per hour in those thirty hours in order to see twenty million by age sixty-five.
Doesn't anything about the statistic you broadcast sound a little bizarre to you?
Not Giving Up,
Mark Evanier
February 1, 1991
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Evanier,
William Falk asked me to write to you in reference to your letter regarding a news item we broadcast last October. If I am informed correctly, the item dealt with the average number of commercials viewed by an individual in this country.
Our source for the story in question was United Press International so if the facts, as stated, were not correct, it is their error and not ours.
All of us here in the newsroom appreciate your interest and if I can be of further help, please drop me a line.
Phillip Willson
for KCLU "News at Ten"
January 31, 1991
Mr. William Falk
News Director
KCLU-TV
Dear Billy —
(And I hope I can call you Billy after all we've been through…)
I am enclosing a Xerox of a letter that I received yesterday from the researcher you promised would write to me. I appreciate the letter but I am a bit puzzled how I could receive, on January 31st, a letter dated February 1. I know you advertise, "Today's news, today" but do you also handle, "Tomorrow's mail, yesterday"?
No matter. Of far more concern to me is the policy, implied in the attached letter, that you and your fine news organization assume no responsibility for the accuracy of the news you broadcast. Is this so? Please, Bill, ol' pal, tell me it isn't so.
Still writing these letters,
Mark
P.S. One other thing. Last week, due to sports, your "News at Ten" seemed to commence most evenings after eleven o'clock. I see that you also replay the entire broadcast every day at around three in the morning. This means that most recent airings of "News at Ten" have not been at ten. Knowing the trouble your organization seems to have with numbers, I thought I ought to call this to your attention.
February 19, 1991
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Evanier,
Mr. Falk ("Billy" to you) requested that I handle your most recent inquiry.
He asked that I assure you that our organization stands behind its news broadcasts. We have assembled what we believe to be one of the finest news-gathering teams in local television, as witness the six local Emmy Awards that have been bestowed on our organization over the last three years. We furthermore employ the services of United Press International, Associated Press, Cable News Network and other recognized news services, all in an effort too present the timeliest, most informative news broadcast in Los Angeles.
We are looking into the matter you inquired about but, while our researchers look into it, I wanted to assure you that we do, indeed, stand behind the contents of every "News at Ten" broadcast.
Cordially,
Elizabeth Holtzman
Assistant to Mr. Falk
February 24, 1991
Elizabeth Holtzman
Assistant to Mr. Falk
KCLU-TV
Dear Ms. Holtzman…
Thank you for your letter. I look forward to hearing from you about the matter that caused me to write in the first place.
Just so we're in synch: I wrote, inquiring about the source of an alleged news item broadcast last October on your news program. It stated that the average child, by age sixty-five, will view "over twenty million commercials." I wrote to point out that this works out to a little less than two hundred commercials viewed per hour…and, of course, no TV show — not even the Home Shopping Network in all its glory — broadcasts two hundred commercials per hour.
I didn't mean for this to go on as long as it has. I just wanted to know where you got this "statistic" and to suggest that, just maybe, you had broadcast something that wasn't true.
I look forward to hearing from you on whether your fine staff — and I'm sure they are fine — really believes this.
Thanks…
Mark Evanier
March 2, 1991
Mark Evanier
Dear Mr. Evanier,
I have directed our research staff to begin an inquiry into the matter and you will be hearing from me soon.
Thank you for calling this matter to our attention.
Cordially,
Elizabeth Holtzman
Associate Producer
"News at Ten"
April 8, 1991
Elizabeth Holtzman
Associate Producer
"News at Ten"
KCLU-TV
Dear Ms. Holtzman,
It's been a month and I still haven't heard anything about the matter we were discussing. I hope you haven't forgotten about me. Not after all we've meant to each other.
As sick of this as you are…
Mark Evanier
P.S. Congratulations on your promotion.
May 11, 1991
Elizabeth Holtzman
Associate Producer
"News at Ten"
KCLU-TV
Dear Ms. Holtzman,
Testing…testing…
Mark Evanier
May 28, 1991
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Evanier,
Elizabeth Holtzman asked me to write to you regarding your inquiry about an item that appeared on "News at Ten"regarding the number of commercials viewed by the average American. The story came to us via the Associated Press wire. If you have further questions, I suggest you address the Associated Press.
All of us here in the newsroom appreciate your viewing and if I can be of further help, please drop me a line.
Phillip Willson
for KCLU "News at Ten"
June 4, 1991
Mr. William Falk
News Director
KCLU-TV
Dear Mr. Falk…
Let us review.
Last October, your station broadcast an alleged news item that the average American will view twenty million commercials before they reach age 65. I wrote to you, suggesting that this statistic was absurd.
You were nice enough to answer my inquiry and I have since exchanged no small number of letters with you, as well as Ms. Holtzman and Mr. Willson, both of your staff. Ms. Holtzman assured me that your organization does indeed stand behind the "news items" it broadcasts, while Mr. Willson told me in one letter that the item came from United Press International and, in another letter, that it came from the Associated Press. No one has yet, however, explained how it is possible to watch TV and to see two hundred commercials per hour, which is what the "twenty million" figure averages down to.
I suspect that your staff has no idea as to the source of this supposed statistic. And I further suspect that you don't believe it is true.
Moreover, with enormous presumption here, I suspect that you, as a responsible news organization, receive a great number of crackpot complaints from viewers who are mad about something that has been accurately reported on the news. Rather than accept the truth, the crackpots blame you and impugn your accuracy and honesty. As a result, you have developed a tendency to dismiss letters of complaint as the product of fanatical, stubborn minds. You are polite to these people, while admitting nothing, because they're never going to believe the truth.
Lastly, I suspect that when a legitimate inquiry, such as mine, comes across your desk you automatically give it "the treatment."
I asked you a very simple, factual question with no insinuation that you were slanting or phonying up the news in order to pursue some selfish, devious personal agenda. How about taking note of that and giving me a direct reply?
This is probably my last letter on the subject.
Giving up…
Mark
July 22, 1991
Mark Evanier
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mark,
You're right. We screwed up. Actually, we screwed up several times in several ways, commencing with the original broadcast. Then we screwed up in how we handled your most reasonable inquiry.
Obviously, the commercials statistic is in error. Given the amount of time that has passed, I do not know if we shall broadcast a retraction but we probably should.
And you are completely correct that our mail usually takes us to task for not reporting the news the way the letter writer feels it should be reported. You would be astounded at the extreme political beliefs, covering the entire spectrum of politics, we have been accused of secretly advancing.
We do make mistakes. There are also several journalistically-correct ways to report most events, which is why no one should ever get all their news from a single source.
I apologize for putting your most reasonable letters in the same pile as those who see conspiracy in every nook and cranny.
Bill
July 29, 1991
Mr. William Falk
News Director
KCLU-TV
Dear Bill…
Thanks. That's all I wanted.
A steady viewer…
Mark