I know a lot of people read this site, hoping to pick up tips that will lead them to a successful career in writing, acting, drawing, voiceover work or other show-bizzy areas. If there is one major bit of advice I can give to these people, it's not to be so desperate that you do stupid things, including believing con artists who want to exploit your eagerness to succeed. I have seen many, many scams based on this premise, getting people to do work for nothing or paying for worthless "coaching" or to have their book published. The list is endless.
During the time I was hiring voice talent for the various Garfield cartoon shows, I had a number of wanna-be voice actors practically beg for a part, any part. Two said I didn't have to pay them. One offered to pay me. I would never take them up on those offers but there must be someone out there who would. If you are an aspiring voiceover performer, please read and consider the following two sentences…
These days, there are so many people trying to get voiceover work, there can never be enough openings for 90% of them to make any sort of living at it. And if I'm wrong about that, it's because the situation is even more bleak than I say here.
I am not saying, "Don't try." I am saying, "Don't run your life so that you'll be homeless or personally devastated if you don't succeed. Have a Plan B. Work on a backup career." It's like gambling. It's fine to put $20 on Red at a Roulette table. It's not wise to bet everything you have on Double-Zero.
And for God's sake, avoid the people who want to exploit your need to "make it." In the voiceover world, there are many, including "Pay to Play" businesses. Basically, these are businesses that kinda look like agencies but they want you to pay them to try and get you work. They may or may not be able to do this and the "jobs," if any, will rarely be at union rates and will often pay less than the cost of a good cheeseburger. Marc Graue, who is an actual working voiceover guy and coach, put together this video to warn newcomers about the "Pay to Play" racket. He is not exaggerating…
John Swansburg makes the case that the original animated special of the Dr. Seuss classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas is superior to the good doctor's original book. I don't quite buy that but I do think it's a wonderful adaptation, perhaps the last of any great animated films that director Chuck Jones helmed. In his later years, he relied on a steadily-narrowing bag o' tricks and every character had twitching noses and long, Wile E. Coyote-style camera looks…but it all kinda fit this particular story. Jones co-creating with Walt Kelly didn't work on a Pogo special but Jones and Ted (Dr. Seuss) Geisel produced something that, to me, combined what each man did best.
I know a lot of people didn't like it…and there are rumors that Geisel didn't, either. I consider it one of the three great animated Xmas specials, the other two being A Charlie Brown Christmas and Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. I can't decide which of the three I like best, nor do I see any reason why I have to decide. I also liked Frosty the Snowman (I'm on the commentary track for its latest video release) and A Garfield Christmas (no, I didn't work on it) and a few others.
I've noticed that on a lot of animated pictures coming out these days which feature well-known actors doing the voice work, that the voices of the characters in those films are often quite different from the actors' natural speaking voices that we hear them use on talk shows and in live action films. Guys like Mel Blanc did all kinds of different voices for radio and animation as a matter of course, and some actors today can do a range of voices and accents when they're making recordings for audiobooks, etc. I get the distinct impression though that many actors' voices have been electronically/digitally altered after being recorded for use in animated films, the way that some producers or audio engineers use Auto-Tune to make recordings of singers sound a little better.
Does that happen during the production of The Garfield Show, and are you aware of it happening in other animated productions? Maybe that has always been the case and I just wasn't aware of it. I did figure out Ross Bagdasarian's trick with Alvin and the Chipmunks when I was a kid by playing around with the speed of those records when I listened to them.
Voices in theatrical animation are often tweaked and futzed and sped and pitched a half-dozen different ways. Modern technology makes it so simple, it's almost irresistible. Obviously, it's done to actors playing giant robots and space aliens but it's also done to folks playing normal human beings or aardvarks.
Altering voices is not a new thing. A lot of Mel Blanc's voices in the classic Warner Brothers cartoons were sped, as was Woody Woodpecker's most of the time and others at still other studios. With Mel, they had this problem: They'd speed his Daffy Duck lines up X% but then when Mel made personal appearances or did his characters on live radio shows, he'd try to imitate the sped voices…and then when he went into the studio to record Daffy, he'd do him higher and faster and the engineers would find that X% was too much and they'd have to modify the numbers. Some of the engineers were not very good at this and when certain of Mel's voices didn't sound right, that was often the reason.
There's less tech-tampering with voices in TV animation but there's some. Often, it's so subtle that the actors themselves don't realize their voices have been modified ever-so-slightly.
Quick story: When they did the Fantastic Four cartoon show for Saturday morning in 1978, my friend Frank Welker supplied the voice of a silly little robot named H.E.R.B.I.E. Frank is one of those vocal magicians who can sound like anybody or anything. He speaks for Transformers and fuzzy bunnies and makes the sounds of squeaky door hinges or cocker spaniels. For H.E.R.B.I.E., he did a voice that sounded artificially-enhanced but wasn't…and then after he left, the engineers would trick it up a little more. No one had told that to Frank.
After the first four or five recording sessions, the director told Frank to re-read a certain line a little slower. He said, "We need it clearer because we're filtering you to make you sound a little more robotic." Frank said, "Really? Could I hear what that sounds like?"
They played him a sample of how H.E.R.B.I.E. would sound in the finished shows, which of course were not finished yet. Frank immediately began imitating that sound, giving them the filtered voice without the filter. That's why the guy works all the time.
On The Garfield Show — for which Frank, by the way, had the title role — we did some fiddling when we needed a voice that sounded like a robot or a computer. On the earlier series, Garfield and Friends, we had some recurring characters called the Buddy Bears who would sing and talk with sped-up voices…
Because people keep asking me about this: The speaking voices of the Buddy Bears were done by Thom Huge (who played Jon on that series), Gregg Berger (who played Odie on both series) and whatever other male happened to be in the room at the time. I did a few lines once as one of them. The late and lovely Lorenzo Music played Garfield then and we tried speeding his voice to play one of the Buddy Bears but found Lorenzo sounded like Lorenzo, no matter how much we sped him.
That was for the voices of the Buddy Bears when they spoke. When they sang, Thom Huge did all three voices. And yes, I wrote the lyrics and Ed Bogas wrote the music…and if you watched that clip, I apologize that you'll have that tune running around in your head for the next eight days.
Don't worry. It goes away.
The only other times I recall us adjusting voices on either series were because I would sometimes hire veteran, older voice actors. The pitch and timing might be A bit on the low side but they still had the acting chops. I did one session once where three of my seven cast members were in wheelchairs.
One was the late Marvin Kaplan, who was then in his mid-eighties. Our ace engineer Andy Morris would push a few buttons and turn a few dials and, like a miracle, Marvin would sound exactly as he did in the sixties when he was the voice of Choo Choo on Top Cat. We did a little of that with a few other actors, as well — Stan Freberg and Jack Riley, to name two. I wish more studios would try that instead of saying, "He's too old. Let's replace him with a younger guy!"
Saturday morning, September 17, 1988: The first episode of Garfield and Friends makes its debut on CBS. I was the writer of the show — and this confuses some people. I was not the Story Editor of the show. Most cartoon shows have a Story Editor and he or she will hire the writers, supervise their work and, when necessary, rewrite their scripts. There was no such person on this program. I was just hired to write all the episodes and later, they also made me Voice Director and Co-Producer. plus I even wrote lyrics for some of the songs — and there was one whole song I wrote all by myself. That ain't easy when you can't read music or play any musical instrument. They also eventually let me hire a friend of mine to help with some of the scripts for a while.
The initial deal was for two seasons of thirteen half-hour episodes each but before we got anywhere near Season Two, CBS was so happy with the ratings that they wanted to up the show to an hour. So for Seasons 2-7, it was an hour. Ultimately, we did 121 half-hours and that's a lot of lasagna jokes.
Around 73 of those half-hours went into syndication and did real, real well. We were in the midst of negotiating the fees for an eighth year on CBS when the Biz Affairs guys there decided that since we were making so many bucks off the syndication, we should charge them a lot less for further Saturday morning episodes. We decided not to do that, the show ceased to be — and before long, so did cartoon shows on CBS Saturday mornings. I am not suggesting we caused that to happen but I'd think twice before I messed with that cat.
All 121 half-hours were issued on DVD and rerun in many venues and recently, a lotta bucks were spent to remaster them all in hi-def and they'll be appearing somewhere. We redid the closings of every episode and fixed a number of errors in the voice credits.
It was the most fun I'd ever had working in animation. You hear a lot about nitwitted network interference and insane Standards and Practices demands…and goodness knows, I had plenty of both when I worked for other studios. There was none of that on Garfield and Friends. None.
We had some wonderful artists and directors working on this show and this is far from a complete list: Mitch Schauer, Karl Toerge, Scott Shaw!, Gary Conrad, Floyd Norman, John Sparey, Bill Riling, Ron Myrick, Art Roman, Dave Brain, Lin Larsen, Norman Quebedeau, Tom Tataranowicz, Bob Givens, Cliff Voorhees…and boy, am I leaving a lot of people out.
We had some wonderful producers: George Singer, Bob Curtis, Bob Nesler, Vince Davis and — running the whole Film Roman animation studio — Phil Roman.
We had a wonderful regular cast: Lorenzo Music, Thom Huge, Gregg Berger, Frank Welker, Howie Morris, Julie Payne, Desiree Goyette and Gary Owens.
We had wonderful guest voices: Stan Freberg, Neil Ross, June Foray, Chuck McCann, Don Knotts, Paul Winchell, Don Messick, Carl Ballantine, Lennie Weinrib, Julie Bennett, Marvin Kaplan, Will Ryan, James Earl Jones, Victoria Jackson, Larry Storch, Robin Leach, Jeff Altman, Bill Kirchenbauer, Thom Sharp, Tress MacNeille, Greg Burson, Pat Buttram, Greg Berg, George Foreman (yes, the George Foreman), Chick Hearn, Buddy Hackett, John Moschitta, Louise DuArt, Jewel Shepard, Charles Aidman, Susan Silo, Dick Gautier, Bill Saluga, Eddie Lawrence, Imogene Coca, Kevin Meaney and the list goes on and on.
It was a joy — not that the subsequent series, The Garfield Show — hasn't been. But this was Garfield and Friends and I want to especially acknowledge the trust, wisdom and creative contributions of the creator of Garfield, Jim Davis, and of the best and most honest producer I ever worked for in animation, Lee Mendelson. And perhaps most of all, I should acknowledge Judy Price, who was running the Saturday morn schedule for CBS then and who said to me after I moonwalked off a proposed Michael Jackson Saturday morn cartoon, "Would you like to work on Garfield instead?"
I believe all those people and many unnamed ones deserve great thanks and recognition. What I don't believe is that we went on the air thirty years ago. It's not possible, I tell ya. It's just not possible.
Robin Leach, the veteran entertainment journalist who got famous celebrating the excesses of the rich and famous, died early this morning at the age of 76. He had been hospitalized since last November when he suffered a stroke in Cabo San Lucas. I mean no disrespect to his passing but…hey, isn't that kind of the way you'd expect Robin Leach to go?
I only met him once but that was enough to see that he was a man of great humor and spirit, and that he didn't undertake any of his endeavors with false seriousness…or even the true kind. I liked him in the recording studio and I liked him on TV. I've told this story before here but it's appropriate to repeat it today…
Here's another one of those "incredible coincidence" stories you won't believe. But I have witnesses to this one, and am quite prepared to take a polygraph that it happened just the way I say it happened.
For much of a decade, I wrote and voice-directed a cartoon show called Garfield and Friends. This was great fun because the Powers That Be (aka Jim Davis, creator of the lasagna-loving feline) allowed me to write pretty much whatever I wanted, and to cast whomever I felt suitable to do the guest voices.
One week, I penned an episode entitled, Lifestyles of the Fat and Furry, which burlesqued the then-popular TV series, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, hosted by Robin Leach. The program chronicled the indulgent creature comforts of folks with vast amounts of fame and/or cash, usually both. Teetering tenuously on the ledge of self-parody, the show drew much of its charm from the fustian, hyperkinetic narration of Mr. Leach.
Having written my parody of their parody, I set about to secure Robin Leach himself to do the voice of Robin Leach. I figured he could handle the role. About a week before we would be recording the voice track, I phoned his office in Los Angeles. They told me to call his office in New York.
I called his office in New York. They told me to call his office in Connecticut.
I called his office in Connecticut. They told me to call his office in London.
I called his office in London. They told me that Robin was on a six-week expedition down the Brahmaputra River, or somewhere equally remote. Wherever it was, he wouldn't be back 'til long after our tape date. So I shrugged and booked Frank Welker.
Frank Welker is the most gifted, amazing voice magician who has ever stood before a microphone in Hollywood. Frank can sound like anyone or anything. He is heard constantly in animated cartoons but also logs many hours doing voice matches and dubbing in live-action motion pictures. You hear him often in movies without knowing you're hearing him.
I knew he did a mean Robin Leach so I arranged with his agent for Frank to come in and play the part. I gave him a call time of 2:00.
Nine AM that morning, I walked into Buzzy's Recording Studio on Melrose Avenue for a full day of Garfield recording. I asked Marie at the desk, as I always did, if we were in Studio A or Studio B. She said — and I swear, I'm not making this up — "You're in Studio A. Robin Leach is in B."
Robin Leach???
That was what the lady said. I walked directly into Studio B and there — standing at a microphone, wearing a shirt imprinted with images of hundred dollar bills — was Robin Leach. In person.
I explained to him what we were doing over in A, and how I'd attempted to contact him, and how I'd given up and hired an impressionist, and he couldn't have been nicer. "Well, if the offer's still open, I'd be delighted to play me," he said. About an hour later, after he finished the spots he was recording, he came over to our studio and played Robin Leach like he'd been doing it all his life.
Mr. Leach and Mr. Welker. Left to right.
In fact, he played himself with enormous good-humor and that same sense of show biz and self-mocking that had made his show a hit. He exaggerated the vocal quirkiness of the Leach style more than I'd probably have allowed a mimic to do.
Robin was long gone by 2:00 when Frank Welker showed up. "Well, I'm here to do that Robin Leach bit," Frank announced. "I was warming up in the car on the way over."
"Uh, Frank," I said sheepishly. "I'm sorry but there's been a change of plans. I have a different role for you to play…not Robin Leach…"
Frank was puzzled. "What happened to the Robin Leach role?"
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this but, uh, we found someone who does a better Robin Leach than you do…"
Frank is a wonderful, cooperative person but he seemed a bit affronted — like his honor had been besmirched. He looked hurt so I added, "I'm sorry…I thought this other guy was a little better, Here — you can hear for yourself." And I told Andy the Engineer to run a few seconds of the voice track we'd recorded earlier that morn.
As the mellifluous tones of R. Leach boomed through the speakers, I saw shock upon the face of the best impressionist in the business. There, framed by stark horror, was the realization that someone had bested him in the category of Robin Leach impressions.
(I finally told him the truth. I didn't have the heart…)
Sad to hear of the passing of animation producer-director Bob Curtis. And it's also sad when I think that though I worked with Bob on many shows, I never really got to know the man well. He was the producer of two seasons of Garfield and Friends and one of Mother Goose & Grimm, two shows I worked on for CBS. For the same studio (Film Roman) he did the same fine job on other programs, most notably the acclaimed Bobby's World.
He was very skilled at his job and though shouldering great responsibility and putting in long hours, I never heard him yell, never saw him lose his temper. I also do not recall not being pleased with anything he ever did. All of that added up to him being liked and respected by his colleagues. Condolences to Jeudi (his wife of sixty years) and to his sons Jeff and Kevin. He was one of the best.
Here's a brief interview with Jim Davis on the occasion of Garfield's 40th anniversary…
And yes, I've spent a fair amount of time at Paws HQ in Muncie and in the conference room you see in this video. Part of it is a museum of Garfield merchandise and when I'm there, I'm always struck by how well-made and well-designed it all is. As I mentioned here, when I worked for Hanna-Barbera, there were people there who didn't care if a Scooby Doo t-shirt was badly drawn or made out of shoddy materials by child labor getting paid a dime an hour someplace. Jim really is serious about quality control.
He has endured some criticism for there being so much merchandise, much of it from folks who never let the fact that Snoopy was selling life insurance influence their opinion of Peanuts. I just think it's a fact of life that if a character is popular, there's going to be merchandise…and what's more, the people who love the property want merchandise. Someone once asked Charles Schulz about Charlie Brown knapsacks and he said something like, "I'm genuinely flattered that I created something so beloved that people want to wear it." That's how I would feel about it if I ever created something that people wanted to wear.
The Tony Awards are tomorrow evening and there are a lot of articles online where supposed experts are predicting who will win and sometimes also stating who should win. Often but not always, those are the same names.
I see in the predictions a consensus that Angels in America will absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it, bet-the farm win as Best Revival of a Play (and should) and that there is zero chance that Andrew Garfield, Nathan Lane and Denise Gough won't rightfully win for their work in it as Best Actor, Best Featured Actor and Best Featured Actress, respectively. The predictors are also so certain that Glenda Jackson will win for Best Actress in a Play for Three Tall Women that the other nominees should just send her their congratulations now and not bother coming to the ceremony.
Maybe those are locks but I see many a Broadway Nostradamus who is certain of some win where another disagrees. Depending on who you read, The Band's Visit, Mean Girls and SpongeBob SquarePants are all utterly certain to win for Best Musical. Barring the unlikely three-way tie, some folks who are absolutely certain are going to be absolutely wrong.
I saw but one of the nominated shows — the revival of My Fair Lady, 98% of which I thought was wonderful. I'll tell you about the 2% when I get around to that night in my trip diary. How well it will fare tomorrow evening I can't say because I didn't see the shows it's up against. But if the number that's performed from that show is "Get Me to the Church on Time," make sure you catch it. It probably won't be. They'll probably opt for something with Higgins and/or Eliza, perhaps "The Rain in Spain," maybe truncated to allow a segue into a few choruses of "I Could Have Danced All Night."
But Norbert Leo Butz performing the "Church" number was one of the most exciting things I ever saw on a stage — so much so that a lot of the seers are saying he will definitely win for Best Featured Actor in a Musical. And of course, a lot of them are saying that about other nominees.
I'm reporting about an eleven-day trip that I recently took with my lovely friend Amber to Las Vegas, Philadelphia and New York. Before you read about Day 2, you might want to read about Day 1.
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Amber and I spent the second of our two days in Vegas roaming the floor of the Licensing Expo. For much of this, we were joined by two sets of friends, which I'm listing here in order of appearance. One set consisted of Frank Ferrante and his exquisite companion, Dreya Weber. Dreya is a producer, director, performer and choreographer specializing in aerial (i.e., off-the-ground, dangling in the air) choreography. Frank is…well, if you read this blog, you know who Frank is.
Also roaming the floor with us were Charlie and Sherry Frye, who together form Charlie Frye and Company, one of the best acts I've ever seen — juggling, magic, physical comedy…
Here. Rather than tell you what they do, I'll show you a little of it, also (like this morning's early video clip) from an old Jerry Lewis Telethon. Charlie's the guy who does the heavy lifting. Sherry's the beautiful Company who makes him do it…
In addition to being able to do all that stuff, Charlie's also a pretty good cartoonist so he was excited when I introduced him to Jim Davis over at the Garfield booth. So was Frank, who did some voice work for me on The Garfield Show. We covered the hall but I occasionally broke off from the pack to complete the last of my scheduled meetings with certain folks about certain projects.
One tip: If you ever visit the Licensing Expo, it's a fun thing to browse but if you want to talk business with anyone, you need to make appointments with them weeks in advance. And if you want to go at all, you need a good, working pair of feet because there's an awful lot of walking involved.
That was my problem. A few weeks ago, I somehow fractured the little toe on my left foot. I haven't a clue how or when this happened but it got to hurting and when I went to my podiatrist, he did that x-ray thing, gave me the bad news and slapped a fracture shoe on that foot. A fracture shoe is like a rubber sandal with Velcro® straps. It prevents the injured toe from having any pressure put on it but it's not good for the foot in other ways, especially when you're walking all over Las Vegas. I applied some drugstore, over-the-counter remedies (mostly gel-pads) and was able to lessen the pain but it would remain a major distraction and problem for much of the trip.
That evening, Amber, Frank, Dreya and I journeyed to the Rio Hotel to see Penn and Teller's show and to meet those two men — and I guess I have to stop and tell a story here.
A few years ago, I was in talks with the CW Network about a possible show for them. In particular, I was dealing with a friend of mine, Kevin Levy, who is the Executive Vice-President of Program Planning, Scheduling, and Acquisitions. I was kinda hoping they'd buy a show idea from me and it would run longer than his job title.
It was kind of a game show targeted for a certain time slot on their schedule and at one point, the question arose as to who would be the host if it went forward. I suggested my pal Jonathan Ross, who is very big on TV in Great Britain…and he's also a huge fan of Jack Kirby, which in my book counts for a lot. Kevin wasn't all that familiar with Jonathan's work and asked where he and the others in his office might see Jonathan in his natural habitat — in front of a TV camera. I suggested they take a look at Penn & Teller Fool Us, a series that had a brief run in 2011 on ITV in the U.K. All the episodes, I told them, were up on YouTube.
Kevin and his crew checked them out and liked Jonathan — but they also liked the show he was hosting. Kevin called me and asked a whole bunch o' questions about it and said he was thinking of seeing if the rights to run those episodes in the U.S. were available. They were…and this kind of demonstrates why Kevin has a much longer title than I do. He knows what CW watchers want to watch on CW. The old episodes did well, they led to new episodes…and Penn & Teller Fool Us has recently completed taping their fifth season, which is their fourth for American television.
When I mentioned to Kevin that I was heading for Vegas, he offered to arrange for me (and however many guests I had) to be comped to their show and to go backstage before to meet the stars so they could thank me for my (minor) role in getting their show on the air here. I think it's been exaggerated but hey, free tickets are free tickets. Penn plays stand-up bass before the show until about twenty minutes before it starts, and the two of them linger outside after for photos and autographs…so they only had a brief window of time to give us.
The four of us were taken backstage to a place called The Monkey Room decorated with Penn & Teller memorabilia and almost immediately, Teller came in, all dressed to go on stage and curious about this person their manager (I think) had told them they oughta meet. I was impressed with what a smart, polite man he is…and how we quickly fell into talking about the show and the "rules" of presenting magic on television.
The directors and editors of any TV show are sitting there with dozens of ways to create magic that is not actually performed on stage, or ways to make a trick more impressive than it actually is. If in the midst of a trick, the magician makes a move he hopes the audience will not notice, the director can shoot it from an angle that guarantees the home audience will not see it. The editor can cut around it so it isn't even there. There are other tricks which can be done and it is not ethical to employ them, though some shows have.
This is an area that especially interests me. I've occasionally worked on shows where magic has been performed and once got into a huge argument with an Emmy-winning TV director who shall remain nameless (it was this guy) who wanted to "enhance" a magic trick by editing out the ten seconds when the magician did most of the sneaky stuff.
I've been involved in many discussions with magicians about this and about when you cross a line of honesty with a viewer. It is not dishonest for a performer to say "I'm putting the three of clubs in my pocket" when he in fact has already switched that card for another. It is dishonest for him to say "We are employing no camera trickery" when that's only true by a very odd, disingenuous definition of "camera trickery." Some shows have not only crossed that line but made it vanish altogether and I was pleased that Teller seemed to share my disdain for those who cheat that way. I wish we'd had more time to talk about it.
Penn came in. We only had a few minutes before he had to go don his stage wardrobe but I told the two of them the story of my tiny role in causing CW to bring Fool Us back from the dead. Everyone was introduced and shook hands and then we were gifted with Penn & Teller swag and escorted out to great seats in the Penn & Teller Showroom and we saw a very good Penn & Teller show with an impressive percentage of Penn & Teller bits I hadn't seen before. Amber — who had never seen them perform until that night — said, "I wish we'd gone backstage after because I would have been more impressed to meet them once I knew how good they are at what they do."
So that was Wednesday. Join us tomorrow as we fly to Philadelphia…and really nothing else happens except that Gilbert Gottfried flakes on me. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
My lovely friend Amber and I are back from eleven days and ten nights in Las Vegas, Philadelphia and Manhattan. Those days, nights and cities were all too busy to allow me to file contemporaneous reports…so taking it one day at a time — Hey, good name for a sitcom! — I'm going to do it here. Come on along and join us on…
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
When I fly to Vegas, the odds of my luggage arriving on the same flight are about the same as the odds of winning big on Keno. This trip, Amber and I got lucky — at Luggage, not Keno. We got there with our bags but without much sleep the night before.
It was not the comfiest of flights. All the way there, I was in a middle seat with Amber snoozing to my right, which was fine…but there was this Vomiting Supermodel to my left. You have no idea how unattractive an attractive lady can be when she spends an entire 50-minute flight making grotesque moans, filling an airsick bag and apologizing to all around for making grotesque moans and filling an airsick bag.
"This always happens to me when I fly," she explained during a brief pause in the grotesque moans that sounded like a water buffalo giving birth, not that I've ever actually witnessed that. "It happens when I'm a passenger in a car too," she added, "but not when I'm driving." She was changing flights in Vegas to head elsewhere and I suggested she ask if they'd let her fly that plane.
Amber and I cabbed it to the Excalibur Hotel where, at any hour, there's always a long line at check-in. Fortunately, I'd had the good sense to sign up for their Automatic Check-In Service where you claim your room online, then you go to a kiosk and it dispenses your room keys. Sounds great, right? Well, it might be when the key dispensers are working. Fortunately, there was only a moderate wait at the special line they'd set up to service the people who were smart enough to sign up for the Automatic Check-In.
I asked one desk clerk, "Does it work when it works?" She said, "I couldn't say. I'm new here and I haven't seen it work yet." If a nickel slot machine was busted, you know they'd have had it fixed faster than you could say "Bugsy Siegel."
Upon reaching our room, Amber — operating on two hours of sleep — promptly went beddy-bye. I — functioning on almost four — hiked over to the Mandalay Bay to pick up our badges for the main reason we were in town…the Licensing Expo!
What, you may well ask, is the Licensing Expo? Well, I'll tell you. It's a convention of folks who can mainly be divided into two categories. You have your Licensors, who are people and/or companies who own properties that they exploit on t-shirts, dolls, games, posters and other kinds of what they all seem to call "merch," that word being short for "merchandise." The other category are the Licensees — those who buy the rights to exploit the brand names, characters and various properties of the Licensors. Each year at the Licensing Expo, Licensors and Licensees get together for an odd version of The Dating Game that could potentially result in mutually-profitable deals.
I am in neither category but many of those who engage my services are present so I have little biz-type meetings with them to discuss current and possible projects. The whole event looks a lot like this promotional video which, since it was released before this year's Expo, probably features video shot at last year's…
They wouldn't give me Amber's badge but I got mine and wandered around in the hall for an hour or two, getting a few of my biz-type meetings done. It's a pretty big room full of exhibits and celebrities and people in weird costumes and I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't have to rush upstairs soon and host six panels.
I attend the Expo every three years or so and I've become very skilled at separating hype from reality. I met one gent, for instance, who was promoting a new cartoon series he created that does not, by any reasonable definition of word "exist," exist. Still, if you saw his booth and heard his sales pitch, you might not know that. His characters recently beat The Simpsons for Name Recognition according to a recent poll, probably of his immediate family. Roaming the hall, I saw a lot of illusory successes, a lot of genuine well-known properties and a startling number of characters designed by Jack Kirby.
The thing I enjoyed most was in the Expo Lobby, outside the main exhibit hall. There, they'd set up a reasonable facsimile of the street and front stoop we all know from Sesame Street. And there, sitting on a stool for most of the day (and part of the next one) was David Rudman, the current custodian-actor of Cookie Monster.
I love Cookie Monster. Always have, always will. I think he's one of the funniest, most wonderful creatures ever created in any medium and if the guy who took over the role from Frank Oz wasn't doing right by him, I would be damning his name on this blog three times a week. You know how I feel about Trump? He would be the second-biggest threat to decency in the world today. Joyously, Mr. Rudman is doing C.M. as well as any human being today could do him. He sounds right, he acts right, he even ad-libs absolutely in character.
I already knew this but I got the chance to witness it up close at the Expo. I just stood there for maybe a half-hour, watching and listening as Mr. Rudman and the blue, shaggy superstar with the goo-goo-googly eyes worked the line. People — a few small kids but an awful lot of big ones in my age range — queued up for a few moments and a selfie opportunity with Cookie Monster. Rudman was perfectly "on" the whole time I watched, and also later and the next morn when I passed by, giving all comers an expert performance.
He was sitting right there in full-view with one of his hands operating Cookie Monster's mouth and the other serving as one of Cookie Monster's mitts…but the effect is so total, so complete that you can ignore that human being sticking out of the monster you came to see. And hour after hour, he did that gravelly voice which sounds hard on the throat but I guess isn't on his. I just watched one person after another have a delightful serving of quality time with Cookie Monster — an experience that they will never forget.
I entertained the notion of getting in line but the end of it would have put me out of eavesdropping/observing range for too long…and anyway, I really wanted five minutes with David Rudman more than I wanted the two minutes with Cookie Monster they were offering. Four Comic-Cons ago, I got a photo and about forty seconds with David and C.M. as one of my panels followed one he did with Eric Jacobson, another expert Muppeteer who does as-good-as-it-gets mimicry of others' characters. I only briefly got to tell them both how, because of my years working for Sid and Marty Krofft and my years directing cartoon voices, I think I really, really understand how difficult it is to do what they do…and how well I think they do it. I am now more impressed than I was then and I was pretty damn impressed then.
In my many trips to Las Vegas, I have seen many great shows by some of the world's greatest entertainers. I can't think of one I enjoyed more than watching Cookie Monster greeting his public.
I hung out for a while with Jim "Garfield" Davis and another friend who takes good care of a famous cat — Don Oriolo, guardian of Felix — and attended a cocktail party thrown by King Features. I don't drink but I do eat little delicious shrimp hors d'oeuvres…and I had a lovely conversation there with C.J. Kettler, the newly-installed president of that fine operation. Our chat got interrupted but we agreed to continue it later that week in Philadelphia, where we were both heading for the National Cartoonists Society Reuben Weekend.
Finally, Amber texted that she had awoken from her coma and I trammed back to take her out for some of that glamorous Vegas night life. We staggered to a Walgreens for supplies and grabbed barely-edible burgers at the only bad Johnny Rocket's I've ever found.
We were both still exhausted so as we chewed on our putative hamburgers, we stared at each other and said and/or thought, "This is just the first day. Can we possibly get through ten more days of this?" Reading this report, you may be thinking the same thing but it'll be better when we (you, Amber and I) aren't exhausted. So get some sleep and tune in tomorrow for more in Las Vegas with our special guests, Penn and Teller.
WonderCon convenes this Friday in Anaheim. As I write this, Saturday-only badges are sold out but you can still buy one for Friday, one for Sunday or one for all three days. Those options may narrow shortly. The entire programming schedule is online here and here are the six I'm hosting…
The Sergio, Mark and Tom Show Mark Evanier, Sergio Aragonés, and Tom Luth bring you the long-running, award-winning comic featuring the ship-sinking, everyone-slaying Groo the Wanderer. This is a panel where those three people talk about what they do, how they do it, why they do it and how one or two of them actually gets paid for doing it. It's just a very silly panel featuring silly people who do a silly comic book. Friday, March 23, 2018 from 1:30pm to 2:30pm in Room 208
Writing for Animation
Interested in writing for cartoons or video games? Then you'll want to hear three people who've done it tell you how they've done it: Marv Wolfman (Epic Mickey 2, The Adventures of Superman), Shelly Goldstein (Shelldon, Flying with Byrd), and moderator Mark Evanier (The Garfield Show, Scooby Doo). They'll talk about script formats, breaking a story, getting the assignment, dealing with sinister forces, and everything else. Friday, March 23, 2018 from 3:30pm to 4:30pm in Room 300D
Quick Draw!
It's another battle to the death—or at least until dinnertime!—with three lightning-fast cartoonists armed only with Sharpies and sharp senses of humor. The three cartoon combatants are Sergio Aragonés (Groo the Wanderer, MAD magazine), Lonnie Milsap (bacön, Silly Comics)), and Tom Richmond (MAD magazine's star caricaturist). They'll be drawing the suggestions of you, the audience, as well as the Quizmaster of Quick Draws, Mark Evanier. As always, no wagering. Saturday, March 24, 2018 from 4:30pm to 5:30pm in North 200B
Cartoon Voices
Once again, your host Mark Evanier (The Garfield Show) gathers five masters of speaking for animated superstars to demonstrate their talents. The dais will consist of Neil Ross (Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, The Transformers), Eliza Jane Schneider (Final Fantasy, Skylanders), Wally Wingert (Batman: Arkham Asylum, The Garfield Show), Julie Nathanson (Marvel's Avengers, Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay, Far Cry 5), and Townsend Coleman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick). Saturday, March 24, 2018 from 5:30pm to 6:30pm in North 200B
Cover Story: Art of the Cover
What constitutes a good cover on a comic book? How are the best ones created? Be there for this "shop talk" discussion with artists who've been responsible for some of the best, WonderCon special guests Ryan Benjamin (WildC.A.T.S, Batman Beyond), Mitch Gerads (Mister Miracle, The Sheriff of Babylon), Dan Jurgens (Superman, Batman Beyond), and Ed Piskor (Hip Hop Family Tree, X-Men: Grand Design). Moderated by Mark Evanier. Sunday, March 25, 2018 from 1:00pm to 2:00pm in Room 300B
The Annual Jack Kirby Tribute Panel
They call him the King of the Comics and maybe it should also be King of the Cinema, since so many of his co-creations (like Black Panther) have made it so big in the movies. As always, WonderCon takes time to talk about arguably the greatest superhero artist of them all. Joining in the discussion this year are Kirby museum curator Tom Kraft, attorney Paul S. Levine, former Kirby assistant Steve Sherman, and moderator (another former Kirby assistant) Mark Evanier.
Sunday, March 25, 2018 from 3:00pm to 4:00pm in Room 211
As always, things may change. In fact, the participants in a few of my panels have changed since the program guide went to press and was posted on the convention website. The above is correct as of now.
I will be there all three days. I do not sell things at conventions and I refuse to sit at a table for long periods but I will be wandering the hall and if you see me, please say howdy. I can often be found in the vicinity of Sergio Aragonés' table, which is located at A-01. He has a new fake mustache which is much more convincing than those cheap ones he got a case of at Costco years ago.
WonderCon convenes next Friday in Anaheim. As I write this, Saturday-only badges are sold out but you can still buy one for Friday, one for Sunday or one for all three days. Those options may narrow shortly. The entire programming schedule is online here and here are the six I'm hosting…
The Sergio, Mark and Tom Show Mark Evanier, Sergio Aragonés, and Tom Luth bring you the long-running, award-winning comic featuring the ship-sinking, everyone-slaying Groo the Wanderer. This is a panel where those three people talk about what they do, how they do it, why they do it and how one or two of them actually gets paid for doing it. It's just a very silly panel featuring silly people who do a silly comic book. Friday, March 23, 2018 from 1:30pm to 2:30pm in Room 208
Writing for Animation
Interested in writing for cartoons or video games? Then you'll want to hear three people who've done it tell you how they've done it: Marv Wolfman (Epic Mickey 2, The Adventures of Superman), Shelly Goldstein (Shelldon, Flying with Byrd), and moderator Mark Evanier (The Garfield Show, Scooby Doo). They'll talk about script formats, breaking a story, getting the assignment, dealing with sinister forces, and everything else. Friday, March 23, 2018 from 3:30pm to 4:30pm in Room 300D
Quick Draw!
It's another battle to the death—or at least until dinnertime!—with three lightning-fast cartoonists armed only with Sharpies and sharp senses of humor. The three cartoon combatants are Sergio Aragonés (Groo the Wanderer, MAD magazine), Lonnie Milsap (bacön, Silly Comics)), and Tom Richmond (MAD magazine's star caricaturist). They'll be drawing the suggestions of you, the audience, as well as the Quizmaster of Quick Draws, Mark Evanier. As always, no wagering. Saturday, March 24, 2018 from 4:30pm to 5:30pm in North 200B
Cartoon Voices
Once again, your host Mark Evanier (The Garfield Show) gathers five masters of speaking for animated superstars to demonstrate their talents. The dais will consist of Neil Ross (Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, The Transformers), Eliza Jane Schneider (Final Fantasy, Skylanders), Wally Wingert (Batman: Arkham Asylum, The Garfield Show), Julie Nathanson (Marvel's Avengers, Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay, Far Cry 5), and Townsend Coleman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick). Saturday, March 24, 2018 from 5:30pm to 6:30pm in North 200B
Cover Story: Art of the Cover
What constitutes a good cover on a comic book? How are the best ones created? Be there for this "shop talk" discussion with artists who've been responsible for some of the best, WonderCon special guests Ryan Benjamin (WildC.A.T.S, Batman Beyond), Mitch Gerads (Mister Miracle, The Sheriff of Babylon), Dan Jurgens (Superman, Batman Beyond), and Ed Piskor (Hip Hop Family Tree, X-Men: Grand Design). Moderated by Mark Evanier. Sunday, March 25, 2018 from 1:00pm to 2:00pm in Room 300B
The Annual Jack Kirby Tribute Panel
They call him the King of the Comics and maybe it should also be King of the Cinema, since so many of his co-creations (like Black Panther) have made it so big in the movies. As always, WonderCon takes time to talk about arguably the greatest superhero artist of them all. Joining in the discussion this year are film critic-historian Leonard Maltin, Kirby museum curator Tom Kraft, attorney Paul S. Levine, former Kirby assistant Steve Sherman, and moderator (another former Kirby assistant) Mark Evanier.
Sunday, March 25, 2018 from 3:00pm to 4:00pm in Room 211
As always, things may change. In fact, the participants in a few of my panels have changed since the program guide went to press and was posted on the convention website. The above is correct as of now.
I will be there all three days. I do not sell things at conventions and I refuse to sit at a table for long periods but I will be wandering the hall and if you see me, please say howdy. I can often be found in the vicinity of Sergio Aragonés' table, which is located at A-01. He has a new fake mustache which is much more convincing than those cheap ones he got a case of at Costco years ago.
Here's a story I don't think I've told before here. Some years ago, I was at a party full of Hollywood-type people and I was introduced to Betty White. Told that I was the producer of The Garfield Show, she instantly said to me, "Why haven't I been on The Garfield Show?" I smiled and said, "Because you're on everything else!" I don't think any TV actor at whatever age she was then has ever been in more demand than Betty White was at the time.
We wound up talking about other things and parting. Then a little later, she came up to me and said, "I hope you know I was only half-serious when I asked you, 'Why haven't I been on The Garfield Show.'" I said, "I assumed as much but just out of curiosity…what about the other half? You're on like twenty-seven TV shows these days. We pay scale to all our guest stars. If I did want to hire you, are you even available? And are you available for that money?"
She thought for a second and said, "No, I guess I'm not. The money wouldn't matter all that much but I just don't really have the time." Then she asked me, "Do you have any experience with feral cats?"
I told her about the small herd of them I feed in my backyard. She said, "Well, then maybe you're aware of this. Looking for food is hardwired into most feral cats. Their lives revolve around finding the next meal so even if you feed one and she stuffs herself, a minute later, she's thinking, 'Where is food? Where do I find food?' They can't help themselves. I'm afraid most actors are like that. Even when they have a job, they're thinking, 'Where is my next one?'"
Cats I Have Fed
"When we were doing The Golden Girls, there was a point where we were picked-up for two more seasons and I had all these other things I was doing. I was turning down offer after offer because I just didn't have the time open. And still, there were moments when a little voice in me was wondering, 'What are you going to do when this ends?' Actors…at times, we're all like feral cats!"
I understand that. There are times I used to wish the writing business ever worked like some professions where you could know with some certainty what you'd be doing for the next five or ten years. I turned down staff jobs at Disney and Hanna-Barbera that at the time looked like jobs I could have stayed in until I hit retirement age. Well now, I'm approaching retirement age — without the slightest thought of retiring — and I realize I wouldn't have been at either company 'til now. Hanna-Barbera isn't even there anymore and Disney has reshuffled so much that I don't think anyone who I thought had a "job for life" there in 1980 lasted in it into this century.
How it is in other fields, I haven't a clue…but in entertainment and publishing, we all seem to be wand'ring nomads, camping here or there for a time and then looking for something else. About 98% of the time I like it that way, especially since I learned to not think like a feral cat. Which reminds me I have to go feed a couple…
Somewhere below in this post, you'll find a photo of me with my friend, the late Lorenzo Music. I don't know why I have such an unhappy look on my face because I always had a good time when I was with Lorenzo. The last few times I saw him, it was in a hospital room and if you could somehow overlook the fact that he was dying, it was still kinda fun to be around him.
In his career, Lorenzo went from being a writer to being a writer-producer to being one of the top voiceover performers in the business. He began the unlikely segue into his final career while he was working on the TV sitcom Rhoda, which he developed with this then-partner, David Davis. For it, they created the role of a hapless, hopeless doorman named Carlton, who would be heard (usually over an intercom) but never seen. Carlton was not the swiftest exemplar of his profession or the soberest…and his voice was provided by Lorenzo.
The show became popular and so did its tipsy doorman. Lorenzo began looking for ways to expand the character's fame and his own fortune. At one point, he recorded a record which someone has made into a little music video. Here it is if you care to stop for a brief musical interlude…
Rhoda went off the air in 1978. One day in 1979, the phone rang in my old apartment and the following exchange occurred. I swear to you, this is exactly how it went…
ME: Hello!
CALLER: Yes, I'd like to speak to Mark Evanier.
ME: Hello, Lorenzo Music.
CALLER: (after a long pause) Wow. That's the fastest anyone's ever recognized my voice.
That was my introduction to Lorenzo. He explained to me why he was calling. He was working on a pilot for an animated, prime-time TV show called Carlton, Your Doorman for the MTM company. In '79, way after The Flintstones and way before The Simpsons, that was a pretty daring/different thing to attempt.
He and his new partner Barton Dean were writing it and Lorenzo, of course, was voicing the lead role. He explained he was looking for a writer with prime-time credentials (which I had) and also some understanding of animation (ditto, I'd like to think) to write a back-up script for the show and to become part of its staff if and when the show went to series. He was then pretty confident that it would.
I should explain what a back-up script is. Often, when a network commissions a pilot for a series, they will also have scripts written for two or three more episodes. This is so that when they judge the worthiness of buying that pilot as a series, they will also have those scripts to consider…some idea of where the show will go after the first week. Also, if they suddenly want to rush the series into production, A.S.A.P., they have the first few episodes already written.
Lorenzo mentioned another producer he knew who had recommended he talk to me. I did not recognize the name of this other producer at the time and do not recall it now. What I do recall is that this person (a) had read and liked a sample Maude script I'd written when I was up for a job on that show and (b) knew that I was writing cartoon shows for Hanna-Barbera and other studios. Lorenzo asked if I would come in and meet with him and Barton — and, oh yes, bring him a copy of that Maude script to read.
A few days later, I went in, gave them the script and they put me in a little room to watch a very rough cut of the Carlton pilot. It was missing music (not to be confused with Music), sound effects and some video but I thought it was pretty good. There was a sense in which the character was diminished by being seen. Before this, one of the most interesting things about him was that we, like Rhoda Morgenstern and other characters in the Rhoda show, had to guess what he looked like.
Now, we no longer had the intrigue of guessing. He looked like Zonker in the Doonesbury strip, which is not what I imagined. Still, if that's what his creator and voice said he looked like, who was I to argue? After the viewing, I joined them and we discussed the show for a while. Then I went home. and a few days later, this phone exchange occurred. Again, this is exactly how it went…
ME: Hello!
CALLER WHO SOUNDED NOTHING LIKE LORENZO MUSIC: Is this Mark Evanier?
ME: Hello, Lorenzo Music trying to fool me with a phony voice.
SAME CALLER WHO NOW SOUNDED LIKE LORENZO MUSIC: Shit.
He told me my Maude script went over well with him and whoever else had read it there and they wanted me to write one of the two back-up scripts they were preparing. They also wanted me to help with some revisions on the pilot. I was fine with all that. My agent made the appropriate deal and we went to work.
[IMPORTANT SIDEBAR: In 1979, all animation writing was either totally non-union or it was covered by the Animation Union, Local 839. Almost all cartoon writers felt that 839 did a miserable job of representing our interests and I was part of several legal attempts to get us out of that union and into the Writers Guild of America. Those attempts all failed but in later years, some progress was made. Many cartoon writing jobs (but not all) are now done under the aegis of the WGA. The Carlton, Your Doorman scripts were done under a WGA contract and no one noticed at the time.]
Lorenzo and m.e. I don't remember who took this photo or why I didn't like them taking it.
I worked a little with Lorenzo and Barton on funnying-up the pilot but I don't think any of my input ever made it into the finished product. I also wrote a script called "A Kiss is Just a Kiss." It revolved around a tenant in Carlton's building — an elderly Italian gent who talks and acts like a former Mafia Don. Carlton believes the man very much is one. In his bumbling way, the doorman accidentally destroys much of the man's apartment and the man, weeping over the damages, grabs Carlton and gives him a kiss.
Carlton, horrified, believes he has been given a "kiss of death" — a signal that he has been marked for a mob hit and will soon be seen no longer. He grabs up his cat and flees for his life, hiding out for weeks in flophouses and wearing disguises, super-paranoid that everyone he sees is the assassin sent to wipe him out.
In the end, he finds out that he has not been marked to be killed; that the old Italian gent actually likes him and gave him the kiss because he thinks Carlton is cute and would like to date him. We had a discussion if in the end, Carlton could say something about how the old guy was a Fairy Godfather but since the script was never produced, we never got around to deciding if it was a good thing to say. A very gay Production Assistant in the office thought it was hysterical and we had to keep it in.
We also, of course, never cast the role of the elderly Italian gent but Lorenzo knew just who he'd get to play the part. "Marlon Brando's a friend of mine," he remarked. "I'll get him to come in and do it." I was ready to bet serious money that that would not happen but again, since the script was never produced, we never found out. In later years as I got to know Lorenzo better, I was not quite as willing to wager money on him being unable to bag Mr. Brando. If anyone could have, he could have.
The Carlton, Your Doorman pilot was finished and I was invited to a screening of it for the MTM brass. This led to the never-live-it-down moment when I stepped on the feet on Mary Tyler Moore. I wrote about that here.
Everyone at the screening loved the finished pilot or at least they laughed a lot and seemed fairly positive it would be picked up as a series in a matter of moments. It was not but it did air as a special the following year and it won the Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour), beating out a Dr. Seuss special, a Pink Panther special and She's A Good Skate, Charlie Brown.
In the meantime, Lorenzo's experiences dealing with the animation studio (Murakami-Wolf) on Carlton had led him to start drawing up plans a live-action situation comedy set in a place that made cartoons. This was also for the MTM company. He wanted me involved in that and we had several meetings about it, plus I took him on a tour of Hanna-Barbera and while there, introduced him to Gordon Hunt, who was then the voice director. This led to him auditioning for several of their shows and eventually being cast in a role on the Pac-Man series. He also briefly worked there as a writer helping develop a Saturday morning series called The Snorks. I don't think anything he did wound up in the eventual series.
I also don't think he did anything for The Duck Factory, an MTM sitcom set in a place that made cartoons, which debuted in 1984. That show was created by Allan Burns, a top comedy writer-producer who had once-upon-a-time written cartoons for Jay Ward. Lorenzo's take on the arena never went very far and I have no idea if or how one project led to the other, though I was asked to come in and write one. Before that could happen, the show was canceled as is often the case with shows where someone thinks of hiring Evanier.
By that point, Lorenzo's writing/producing career had been largely displaced by a busy voiceover career. He signed with a good agent, assembled a great "demo" tape and suddenly (and surprisingly) wound up doing hundreds, if not thousands of commercials as well as a number of other cartoons. The biggie, of course, was that in 1984 he was cast in the role of Garfield the Cat. His unique sound was heard in a dozen or so prime-time specials and beginning in 1988, in the Saturday morning Garfield and Friends show, which I wrote and voice-directed.
Contrary to what others have assumed, I had nothing to do with him getting his Garfield job and he had nothing to do with me getting mine. Just a coincidence. It was great working with him again and getting to know him well. He really was a smart, talented and funny man…and if you think I know everyone in the world, I'm a veritable hermit compared to Lorenzo.
Okay, so that's the story and it's run so long that I think I'd better put up one of those warning signs that it's a long post. If you've got another 23 minutes to spend on this topic, someone has uploaded the entire Carlton, Your Doorman pilot to the 'net and here it is. I really liked it and I can say that because I don't think anything I suggested made it into the show.
I don't know why it didn't sell. I asked Lorenzo once and he said, "I think the network just plain wasn't interested in doing an animated series then. MTM had the clout to get them to fund the pilot but I don't think MTM had the clout to get them to make it a series." That's as good an explanation as any. In Hollywood, projects go forward or get killed for far stupider reasons than that. See what you think…
Hey, it's been a long time since I embedded a cartoon that I wrote. When I was a lad, one of my favorite comedians — and I almost never saw him; only heard him on records — was The Old Philosopher, Eddie Lawrence. I thought he was hilarious.
In 1994 when we were doing the final season of the original Garfield and Friends, the producer let me record a couple of voice tracks in New York so I could use some New York voice actors. My "wish list" was Arnold Stang, Jackson Beck, Imogene Coca…and Eddie Lawrence. As it turned out, Mr. Beck suddenly had to record some commercials for the Little Caesar's pizza chain on the one day I could record there so I never got him…and Imogene overslept. I took her out to dinner and to see a Broadway show but I wound up recording her a few weeks later when she was visiting Los Angeles.
I'm going to quote some things now from earlier posts on this blog, slightly amended…
I called Eddie Lawrence's agent in New York and said I wanted to hire him to do one or two Garfield cartoons. Here was the deal. I told the agent, "What I really would like to do is write for the Old Philosopher. I know Eddie has always written all his own material so I don't want to offend him. If he doesn't want anyone else writing for that character, I absolutely understand. I'll just write a different kind of Garfield cartoon and have him play a role, just so I can meet him and say I worked with him. If, however, he is willing to trust me, I'll do two cartoons with the Old Philosopher character and we'll pay him twice as much."
The agent said, "I don't know…Eddie is really protective of that character."
I said, "Tell him I know his work backwards and forwards. Tell him I will send him the material in advance…which is something I've never done for anyone else in six years of this show. Tell him I will overwrite the monologues. I'll write them 50% longer and he can cut the jokes he doesn't like or reword them or whatever he wants."
She said she'd check with him. The next day, she called me back and said, "Eddie says he'll do the two episodes with the Philosopher….but I'll warn you. He's going to be really fussy about the material." We verbally "shook" on the deal and a week later, I sent the scripts to her to pass on to Eddie.
I was packing for the New York trip when the phone rang. On the other end was the unquestionable voice of Eddie Lawrence and he said, "Mark, you have been listening to my records." I would love to be able to tell you that he did everything I wrote just as I wrote it but in fact, we spent about a half hour then and another half hour after I got to New York fiddling with the jokes. Which was fine with me. I wrote two Old Philosopher routines for Eddie Lawrence and I am a happy man because of it.
The day we recorded, I did one first with Arnold Stang. Happily for me, Arnold was an hour early to the recording session, as many old pros were, so we got to spend an hour talking about It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and Top Cat and other things he'd done.
We then recorded his Garfield episode. He and I were in the booth in midtown Manhattan. Lorenzo Music, Gregg Berger, Thom Huge and the other actors in the show were in our usual recording studio in Hollywood and we were all linked by telephone and Internet. In the cartoon below and the ones I did with Eddie, you can't tell that L.A. actors were 2,798 miles from their director and guest stars. I just figured that mileage on Google Maps. Back to quoting from an earlier post…
While I was recording with Arnold, Eddie Lawrence arrived. He and Arnold were longtime pals, and when Arnold and I were done with his cartoon and he exited the booth, he and Eddie embraced.
Then Arnold looked him in the eye and sounding as serious as Arnold Stang could possibly sound, he pointed to me and said, "Eddie, don't give this young man any trouble. He's a fine director and you just do everything he says."
Eddie promised he would. That wasn't good enough for Arnold. He added, "If you give him any crap, I'll come back here and kick your ass." Then he handed me his pager number and said, "Remember…if he gets out of line, call me and I'll come back and kick his ass." This wasn't necessary but there was one moment when Eddie was giving me a little problem and I had to threaten, "I'll call Arnold." He immediately apologized and agreed to do it the way I wanted. The power of an Arnold Stang threat.
Here's one of the two cartoons I recorded with Eddie, who passed away in 2014, thirteen years after Lorenzo Music. The voice of Binky the Clown was done by Thom Huge. Binky appeared a lot in the early seasons of Garfield and Friends and then I decided he'd worn out his welcome (and Thom's vocal cords) and he didn't show up for a long time…until this episode, in fact.
By the way: If you stay for the end credits after the cartoon, you'll see Eddie's name…but several of the other names don't belong. For most of its run, Garfield and Friends was an hour-long show and the end credits pertained to both halves. When the shows were chopped into half-hours for syndication, no one redid the end credits so a lot of them have been wrong. The shows were recently remastered for high-def and we took the opportunity to fix all the voice credits. The new versions will be turning up somewhere soon.
Enough of this! Here's Eddie and it's still a thrill for me that I got to work with this man…
