Today's Video Link

Here's Tony Bennett singing one of his standards from home during the pandemic. And I'll save you the trouble of looking it up. He's 93…

My Latest Tweet

  • My doctor told me to avoid crowds. I should've gone to the Trump rally.

My Latest Tweet

  • This is a very bad time to be a statue.

Fine Pandemic Dining

One of my favorite restaurants — The Musso & Frank Grill on Hollywood Boulevard — has announced it will be reopening its fabled dining rooms (seen in a great many movies including Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) for dinner service on Friday, June 26. A cause for celebration? Maybe. Sort of. I guess.

I love the food there. I love the atmosphere there…that feeling of "Old Hollywood" which you find in shorter and shorted supply in Current Hollywood. But unfortunately, they've also had to announce a whole lotta rules under which they will now be operating. Here — go read them. It'll take a few minutes.

Back? That was quite a list, wasn't it? I went through less controls when my friend Brad had a heart transplant and they brought me into the recovery room to see him right after the surgery.

None of this is to fault the Musso & Frank folks in any way. I commend them for such a thorough, not-inexpensive list of changes designed to protect their staff and their customers. It's what you have to do now. I just think I don't want to eat there…or probably anywhere outside my home for a while.

We need to accept the fact that "normality," if we can even remember what that was, may be a long way off. New medicines and the passage of time may make a lot of things safer but The Great Pandemic of 2020 will be with us, hopefully in ever-diminishing ways, for a long time. Henceforth, we all use hand sanitizer a lot more than we previously did…and wash our hands more. Henceforth, we will have to weigh any opportunity that involves being in a crowd against the possible risks.

Like I said, I love the food at Musso's but I can find food just as good on my doorstep thanks to Grubhub and contactless delivery. And I love the Old Hollywood air at Musso's but Old Hollywood didn't involve masked waiters and putting on mine to go use the Men's Room, which someone will probably be in there feverishly scouring any time I need in.

Here in my Fortress of Solitude, there are few reminders of The Plague. I can go hours without thinking about it. It just seems to me that "dining out" won't be anywhere near as fun/enriching as it was and I don't like that. Part of me would like to rush to Musso's and other restaurants I love, not only to experience them in whatever means is still available to us but to support them and keep them as viable businesses. But another part of me is thinking, "No, I won't do that for a long time" and the first part of me admits that the second part of me is going to win this one.

I'm hoping that Musso's hooks up with Grubhub or one of the other delivery services so I can at least support them a little. I'm guessing they won't because they figure the Musso & Frank Experience involves actually dining in Musso & Frank's and I'm sure they're right. I just can't see myself enjoying a meal in any restaurant where the bus boys are hovering about as I eat, constantly sanitizing me for my protection.

Today's Video Link

Here's a nice little music video that's also timely. It's a film by Chris Casady based on a song perfomed by Rick Moranis and the neat artwork is by our friend, Carol Lay. Carol's one of the best cartoonists I know and she's now doing the occasional cartoon for The New Yorker, which is (a) the most prestigious publication to which a cartoonist can sell a gag cartoon and (b) just about the only publication to which a cartoonist can sell a gag cartoon.

Okay, there are a few others left but not many. Here's the video she worked on…

My Latest Tweet

  • It's kind of telling that in his threats to "protesters, anarchists, agitators, looters or lowlifes" who show up in Tulsa, Trump does not seem to know that those are not the same thing.

A Surprising Costco Find

A few months ago, I ordered a batch of supplies from Costco. While searching the Instacart website for things I needed, I happened to spot Organic Chicken Parmesan with Pasta from a company called Ventera Organics. On a whim, I ordered one and when it came, I stuck it in my refrigerator and forgot all about it. The other day, I spotted it in there, noticed the expiration date was just past and decided to whip it up, A.S.A.P.

I've been disappointed by so many packaged meals, I was amazed to find it was pretty good…not as good as Chicken Parm in a fine Italian restaurant but not bad for something I could keep in my fridge for emergencies and whip up in about seven minutes.

When you open the package, you find three microwaveable bags. One is full of cooked penne pasta. One contains a pretty decent marinara sauce. And one has three cooked chicken breasts stuffed with cheese. You microwave each for a specified number of minutes and in about the running time of a Road Runner cartoon, you have enough for three pretty good meals.

Go to the company website and you'll see a whole range of packaged meals. Apparently, most of these are not available most of the time. I wrote to ask them where near me their products are sold because the Costcos around me carry only the Chicken Parmesan and they're currently outta them.

A nice lady from the company e-mailed me back to say that at any given time, they only make whatever Costco orders, which is never the full line. During November and December only this year, Costco will be selling Ventera Chateaubriand with Béarnaise sauce. She says their products freeze well so when they do get the Chicken Parmesan back in, I should buy several and freeze a few. I intend to do that and I'll probably give the Chateaubriand a try when it arrives for a brief visit. End of recommendation.

My Latest Tweet

  • I just checked. I live 1,433 miles from Trump's rally in Tulsa. I'm worried that might not be far enough away.

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 100

It's been 100 days since my wise physician "suggested" I stay at home and be super-cautious about going out or letting people in. Those hundred days haven't been all that bad, in large part because I'm a work-at-home kinda guy who doesn't mind functioning in a kind of "controlled alone." I wish it wasn't like this but I long ago grasped the concept — which some folks I know or see on TV could stand to learn — of making the best of a bad situation you are powerless to fix. I spent a good twenty minutes trying to invent a vaccine for the coronavirus, failed and decided to just hunker down and bunker down.

I go out occasionally. Yesterday, properly masked, I went to my podiatrist as part of my campaign to outgrow having ingrown toenails. I also went to a Target store to not go in but to stay outside and have them bring out an order of supplies, and I went to the place where they make See's Candies.

I dunno how popular it is outside California but See's Candy is all the rage in this state. I gave up eating candy or anything of the sort around 2008 but back when I did eat that kind of thing, I struggled with See's assortments for reasons I explained in this post. That post also contains a link to a video tour of the building where I went yesterday but I was not allowed inside. No one was, not even into the part of the building that's usually a retail store.

Why I Went There: I have an elderly neighbor on whom I keep an eye and I occasionally drive her places she needs to go. She says she can't sleep at night unless just before bedtime, she consumes one of the Licorice Medallions they make at See's Candy. The local See's shops are, she told me, all out of that product and so is she. They're only available at the factory so I swung by for her. I am a very good neighbor.

Like I said, no one was allowed inside. On the door, there were signs explaining how it works: You order with a credit card either on their site or by calling a phone number which I had to dial eight times to get through to a human being. You order, you pay and then a lady in a HAZMAT suit comes to the door and hands you your goodies. I waited for ten minutes out there among a crowd of masked individuals and one loud lady who was proud of her unmaskedness and also — why will you not be surprised? — her Trump/Pence t-shirt.

As she extolled the virtues of the once and — and if she has her way, permanent president — she was so annoying that I finally turned to her and said, more for the crowd's benefit than hers, "Why are you campaigning for him in a state that he's going to lose by thirty-five points? Go campaign in Texas where the polls say he and Biden are tied."

She yelled — she didn't say, she yelled — "They're not tied! The polls are all lies! They said he had no chance to win in 2016!"

I said — I did not yell — "No, they said he had a slim chance and sometimes, slim chances happen. It sometimes rains when there's a 20% chance of rain. And the polls were right insofar as the popular vote was concerned."

She argued back that the election results were lies, too. Trump carried the popular vote by a huge margin and it would have been even bigger if Hillary had been sent to prison where she belongs. I asked her, "On what charges?" and of course, she couldn't name one. I think this lady just believes that anyone she doesn't like should be in prison. The guy she's voting for in November certainly does.

Understand that I was not trying to change this person's mind about a thing. I was just killing time, waiting for licorice and amusing those waiting for their chocolate-covered anythings. There are in this world Trump supporters with whom one can have an actual conversation and they accept a certain amount of reality. My most gung-ho-for-Donald friend admits that most of what we all say about the guy is true. He just prefers the Trump agenda to the alternatives and wishes there was a way to get it from someone who acts more presidential and doesn't swing wildly at every pitch.

Anyway, Ms. TrumpVoter and I went back and forth, much to the delight of the onlookers until a bagful of licorice was handed to me. I wished her Good Luck avoiding the virus and I told her, "You know, you could wear a mask and lessen your chances of getting it or infecting someone else and still support Donald Trump." She didn't seem to believe that and it may be the rottenest of all the rotten things that man has done to his fans…linking those two things.

Today's Video Link

Some film historian managed to find some of Liza Minnelli's screen tests for movies she didn't get. Some of you may think this is actually my pal Christine Pedi, who is famous for her Liza imitations…

me Online

As you probably know, the folks who would have brought you Comic-Con International next month will instead be bringing you Comic-Con at Home, a series of online video panels that will replicate (somewhat) the panels you might attend if they had the con and you were there for it. Some or all of these panels will be recorded in advance and I'm recording a Jack Kirby Tribute Panel and a Cartoon Voices Panel, plus I'll be on two or three others.

No, we are not going to attempt to do Quick Draw! Several folks came to me with elaborate (too elaborate) ideas on how to reconfigure and webcast that much-attended event. I decided none of them were technically feasible and of course, they all lacked the two most important elements, which are that it's live and that there's an audience that can be heard laughing at what the cartoonists do. If you want to see how awkward it would be to not have the second of these, just watch Bill Maher's show these days.

The Kirby panel and that Cartoon Voices panel will debut online during the dates when Comic-Con would have happened (July 22-26) and later will be viewable on my YouTube page, which you can reach at www.newsfromme.tv.

In the meantime, I am resuming my own webcasting next week. On Tuesday, June 23, I will be doing a long, live one-on-one interview with my pal Jim Brochu, who knows more about the theater than I know about…well, anything, really. If you love backstage showbiz anecdotes, you will overdose on what is heard when Jim and I get together. My current plan is to do one of these Conversations with some friend of mine every Tuesday night.

Then on Saturday, June 27, I will attempt another of the Cartoon Voices Panel done live. The last one we tried had to be halted in progress because there were riots and car fires being set a few blocks from me. Things seem to be quieter now so we'll give it another try with most of the folks who were on that panel. The ones who were on the one we couldn't complete and aren't on this one will be on other ones. Details to follow.

My Latest Tweet

  • Between his niece's book, Bolton's, the polls, SCOTUS decisions and all the rest, Trump must be so sick of winning. And this weekend, he gets the thrill of looking out at thousands of people and thinking, "They're all willing to die for me!"

Don't Be A Vocal Yokel!

I am a professional writer (next month will be 51 years) but I'm also, kind of on the side, a professional director of cartoon voices. I also host panels with cartoon voice actors at comic conventions and online.

At every panel, I make time for a little speech cautioning aspiring V.O. performers to beware of teachers and coaches who are not very good at teaching and coaching but who are sometimes very good at convincing you that you'll have the career of your dreams if you write them a very large check — or even a series of very large checks — to take lessons.

Please read and understand the following sentence: There are some very good, very honest teachers of voiceover but there are also some very poor ones and some of them are not very honest.

It is not unusual for the latter kind to offer very cheap introductory classes as a means of getting in touch with suckers aspiring voice actors. Those beginning classes may be worth what you pay for them but too often what happens is that they function like those free seminars that turn into relentless sales pitches to purchase time-shares.

They tell you how great you are and how you have such potential to become the next Frank Welker (or Rob Paulsen or Tara Strong or Nancy Cartwright, etc.) if only you had that little bit of instruction and polish that they can give you. You will be stunned at how much they'll charge you for that little bit of instruction and polish.

Beware, beware, beware.

Voiceover is a lucrative field for — and I need to use boldface again here — some people. Like any glamorous, well-paying show-bizzy career, the vast majority of those who aspire to the field do not achieve the success they seek. That is not possible due to the simple math of X number of jobs and at least 10X the number of applicants…and some would say it's more like 100X or more. One of the good things an honest, professional coach can do for you is to give you an honest appraisal of your talents.

The honest ones I know will not take your money if they don't think you have a good shot at a career. The dishonest ones will always tell you you're so close; you just need their deluxe, even-more-expensive master class. Bank accounts — students' or their parents' — have been wiped clean by those additional deluxe classes.

How do you know who the good and honest ones are? I'm not going to name names here; just urging caution. Generally speaking, there should be a real, successful career connected with them. Either they've had one or they're recommended by folks who've had them. You should know the names of people who've had the kind of career you seek. Many of them are reachable via social media. Most of them will respond to an e-mail or D.M. asking them for a recommendation.

Don't pester him with questions but do spend some time at this page that was set up by one of the best, most in-demand voice actors working today, Dee Bradley Baker. There are coaches who will charge you thousands of bucks to give you less good advice than you can get for free on Dee's site. Some of those coaches, by the way, have real slick, professional-looking websites.

(And don't pester me, especially if you haven't studied every single page of that site. And while I occasionally participate in classes run by others, I don't teach and probably never will.)

As you might imagine, I am motivated to deliver these cautionary lectures because I have seen some horrible exploitations. We're talking about young (mostly) folks who shelled out vast sums of dough on lessons and at the end of those classes, all that resulted was that they were told they needed to pay for more lessons. In a couple of instances, a loving parent forked over money they could really not afford, trying to help their kid achieve his/her "dream" profession…and the kid got nowhere.

I am not trying to scare you away from voice teachers. Like I keep boldfacing here, there are some wonderful ones. I'm trying to scare you away from the kind that took $12,000 from one poor lady who thought she was buying her daughter a career. I heard the daughter's demo and an honest coach would have told her that she simply didn't have the talent necessary to make it in The Business and should seek out a different profession.

The last I heard, the daughter was indeed working in front of a microphone. It's the one at a Romano's Macaroni Grill and she uses it to tell waiting customers their table is ready. You can master that skill for way under $12,000.

Today's Video Link

The TV show M*A*S*H debuted on CBS in September of 1972. While it wasn't the biggest of hits at first, it did well enough that a few months later, CBS apparently wanted another series that was not unlike it. Not long before, Paramount had released the movie version of Joseph Heller's novel Catch-22 and, as with most such deals, there was a clause in there allowing the studio to bring forth a TV version.

So here we have the 1973 unsold pilot for a weekly Catch-22 TV series. Richard Dreyfuss, who was not yet a movie star of note, played the role Alan Arkin had played in the film. Hal Dresner, who had written a couple of first-season M*A*S*H episodes did the teleplay. Richard Quine directed and the cast also included Dana Elcar, Nicholas Hammond (who would soon star in the first live-action Spider-Man TV show) and my buddy Frank Welker. Frank pretty much gave up on-camera performing a few years later to become the most-often-heard cartoon voice actor in the history of mankind.

I can see why this did not become a regular series and if you watch it, you'll probably come up with even more reasons. One though is one of the worst "sweetening" jobs I've ever heard on a TV show. There's a way to do canned laughter that isn't constantly reminding you that it's not genuine. They didn't get that kind…

Not Gone With the Wind

A couple of folks have written to ask why I'm not outraged that Gone With the Wind is being withdrawn from someplace in reaction to something having to do with Black Lives Matter. I love the history and majesty of film (and other art forms) as much as anyone but I can't summon up any dudgeon, high or otherwise, about this or about how Disney won't release Song of the South or Warner Brothers won't put out fancy Blu-rays of cartoons with racial stereotypes. None of this stuff has ceased to exist. It is at worst, mildly inconvenient to view and sometimes, the copies are not pristine.

You want to see Gone With the Wind or show it to someone? You can rent it on Amazon for $3.99 or better still, buy a copy. Then they can never take it away from you.

I cannot right now think of a single movie that I would like to see but can't. If I come up with one, it's probably unavailable because there's been so little interest in it (i.e., so little financial incentive) that whoever has a copy has it deep in some vault 'cause there ain't no money in hauling it out. Before home video — which wasn't that long ago — it was difficult to see a lot of movies. Now, it's difficult to think of one you can't see. I think we have bigger problems in this world to think about.