I'm thinking Donald Trump's going to lose badly on this post office thing. The U.S. Postal Service has long been America's favorite federal agency. In polls, it usually comes in around 90% positive and this is a country where I don't think anything except chocolate and puppy dogs can top 70.
Folks may curse the long lines at their local post office or the fact that some letter took way too long to reach its destination. Still, everyone is also grateful that certain pieces of mail arrive as reliably as they do…and for a tiny fraction of what they'd cost with a private, profit-oriented carrier.
All Joe Biden has to do is say, "Republicans are always attacking it, trying to sabotage it so they can justify handing it over to one of their wealthy donors to run…like the guy Trump appointed to run it into the ground." I would think Congressfolks and Senators who are on this year's ballots would have a hard time defending the ruination of an institution that the Founding Fathers enshrined in that Constitution that Trump has never read.
Give or take a point or two, it has a 90% approval rating. That means even most of the folks who'll vote for Donald Trump like it more or less as it is.
The National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York (birthplace of Lucille Ball) is doing online symposiums about comedy. Here's a chat with three friends of mine who were part of the editorial core of MAD magazine for many years…
A number of folks have written me to say that mailboxes are locked in their areas, too. I don't know when or how this started but I wish people would remember that the Founding Fathers wanted the government to run the post office — as a service, not as a profit center. Saying it loses money is no more an excuse to close it down that it would be a reason to shut down the Defense Department…which also is not profitable. Actually, the post office would be very profitable if they didn't keep saddling it with limits on how much a stamp could cost and this ridiculous notion that they must set aside funds for pensions far into the future.
The sabotage of the post office is one more reason to toss Trump outta there. Would someone please tell him we have enough already? We don't need more.
Running errands this morning, I drove over to a large post office and went through their drive-thru to drop a few letters and bills into the big mailbox they have outside for just such a purpose. I've mailed hundreds of pieces of mail that way over the years but today was different. Today, the big mailbox was padlocked closed…
I don't get this. Presumably, there's some way to mail a letter at a United States Post Office and if I go back there tomorrow when it's open, they will accept my gas bill and put it into whatever the system is that will eventually deliver it to the Gas Company. Why make me make another trip back here? Why couldn't I drop it off today as has been the norm at post offices for several hundred years?
I think Eric Levitz has the answer here: Destroying the U.S. Postal Service would help Donald Trump a lot in the upcoming election and also result in soaring profits for some of his wealthy donors. Either reason is reason enough for these people.
As you may know, I have loads and loads of food allergies. I cannot even begin to list the foods I cannot eat but it probably includes many that you love, especially if you favor the spicier treats.
Once upon a time, I picked up a lady to take her on a First Date. Once in the car, I gave her her choice of two or three restaurants I liked. To my horror, she said, "I love adventurous eating. Let's pick a strange-looking restaurant that neither of us has even been in and tell the waiter to bring us anything he thinks we'll like — the spicier, the better." That was when I knew it was an Only Date. There are very few things in this world I am less likely to do than have dinner on that basis.
I explained to her about my food allergies and she said "I understand" in a way that made it clear she did not understand. A lot of people don't. They think, "Hey, if I enjoy eating it, you'll enjoy eating it." We went to a dining spot from my list where we talked and discovered all the many ways we were incompatible. I think we both had two arms and breathed oxygen but that was about it.
Every now and then, I've thought I ought to learn how to cook. That way, I would have absolute control over what went into the food that went into my mouth. The trouble with that turned out to be that I am a terrible cook and the more I attempt it, the worse I get.
The results are usually safe in terms of ingredients but it all sometimes comes out inedible for other reasons…like the last time I made a corned beef. I followed the directions and broke my electric knife trying to carve what wound up resembling a huge, misshapen hockey puck covered in coriander, peppercorns and mustard seeds.
So I gave it up and now, I occasionally watch cooking videos out of curiosity and also because I need to learn what's in some things I may someday find on a menu. I enjoy Alton Brown's because I enjoy seeing him explain anything and also because he helps convince me that you need a B.A. in Chemistry in order to prepare meals properly. Since I do not have a B.A. in Chemistry and was brain-dead stupid about the subject when I took it in high school, he helps convince me to give up this recurring urge to cook.
I am not joking about this. When I watch this man make a meat loaf, I think, "Well, I guess I can forget about ever making a meat loaf," thereby saving myself the time and cost of attempting it and having it turn out like that corned beef. If he ever does a video about the right way to spread Skippy Natural Super Chunk Peanut Butter on Ritz crackers, I will probably discover I've been doing it all wrong and will stop doing that forever.
Mr. Brown is always saying to let something chill overnight or to let it rest a while after you take it out of the oven. He says, "Your patience will be rewarded" and I might have that patience if there was a chance of the end result turning out the way it does when he cooks. Unfortunately, it keeps coming out the way things come out when I cook…and that is not worth waiting for.
And even he loses me when he talks, as many of the food video chefs do, about adding a little "heat" to their makings. The second they say that or "Cajun" or "Sriracha" or even "hot sauce," I know I'm not going to like it…and yes, I know I can just leave those ingredients out but those words tell me that what the chef thinks is tasty does not align with what I think is tasty.
I used to watch a lot of the cooking videos posted in frightening quantity by Chef John of foodwishes.com. The trouble was that he thinks everything needs Cayenne Pepper. Well, almost everything. Here's the first video I've seen of his in a long time that was Cayenne-free and it's kind of an interesting one. I thought there was only one way to make lemonade without a mix and when I watched this video, I had the urge to try his way.
I won't but it does intrigue me and I thought it might interest some of you. I won't be making it because I've given up all beverages except water. And also if I made it, it would come out like the corned beef, only more difficult to slice…
I have a friend who's going to vote the Biden/Harris ticket but he said to me last night that he wishes it was the Bernie Sanders/Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ticket. My pointing out that Congressperson Ocasio-Cortez is too young to serve in that capacity did not put a dent in my friend's fantasy.
I would favor Bernie over Biden in the White House but I think I favor Biden over Bernie as a candidate. The Republicans were going to try and paint whoever the Democrats nominated as a crazed, America-destroying radical and we didn't need to make it easier on them. Mike Pence is now out there claiming Biden/Harris would stop the eating of animals. That's how hard it is to make Biden out to be a left-wing looney.
And once again, though it rarely works for me, I'm going to try to not think too much about Trump or the election this weekend. One reason it's hard is because Friday night is when you try and release news you don't want to get a lot of notice.
People keep asking me what I think is going to happen with DC Comics. Given that some of these people are in a much better position than I am to know that, I conclude that I could not possibly know that.
And a reporter just e-mailed me to ask for a quote for an article about when comic book conventions will return in full flourish. I have the same answer: I don't know. That's a very good answer for most questions these days, especially since nobody knows. I continue to believe that the secret to living in the present is learning to live with a lot of big "I don't know"s in your life. Right now, I'll be happy if I have a good idea of what time my groceries will be delivered.
As I mentioned, next Tuesday at 7 PM Pacific Time, I'll be doing a one-on-one Conversation with my pal Kurt Busiek, who has written a lot of the better comic books I've read in the last decade or two. He's also a pretty knowledgeable guy about the comic book industry and how things work in it.
As I haven't mentioned but am mentioning now, next Thursday at 7 PM Pacific Time, I'm turning my little webcast series over to a guest host. Sergio Aragonés wants to interview me for 90 minutes or so. I have no idea what about but tune in and we'll find out together. We may swap recipes for an hour-and-a-half.
At this very moment, Trump probably has his staff crafting an Executive Order that says mail-in ballots will be restricted to registered Republicans…and everyone else if they want to vote has to stand in the line at the one polling place in their state, no masks allowed.
Several people — including some I thought were my friends — have sent me info on a new Frankenstein's Monster of a candy from the Brach's company. I shall quote from that company's website…
NEW to store shelves: A full course meal presented in a unique mix of candy corn flavors. BRACH'S Turkey Dinner includes all of the traditional Thanksgiving favorites. From roasted turkey, green beans and stuffing to ginger glazed carrots, cranberry sauce and sweet potato pie. Flavors include Green Beans, Roasted Turkey, Cranberry Sauce, Ginger Glazed Carrot, Sweet Potato Pie & Stuffing.
It has been a long time since I ate candy corn and instantly wised-up to the fact that it tasted like neither candy nor corn. Given that it can't taste like what it's named for, I have a hard time imagining it ever tasting like roast turkey, glazed carrots, cranberry sauce, etc. But if you want to try it, go ahead. Don't let me stop you. Just understand that everyone you know will assume you're also one of those people who injected themselves with Lysol or bleach when Trump suggested that might be a cure for the coronavirus.
Here's a quick interview with me about the boxed set of Marvel Mini-Books that comes out any day now — reproductions of the six that came out in the sixties plus a seventh with an intro/foreword by me. You can order a set of them here. They're cute and they're silly and for some of us, they bring back memories of a happier time in our lives and/or comic book reading. How many comics today can manage any, let alone all of that?
And I don't know if it was a transcribing error or, more likely, me misspeaking but I am aware that the first official Superman-Spider-Man comic book crossover was in the seventies, not the eighties. It took place in a comic book about eighty times the size of a Marvel mini-book. As they say at Weight Watchers, bigger is not always better.
The reaction to Joe Biden's selection of Kamala Harris has been…well, let's say "interesting." And maybe "utterly predictable." Obviously, there is no Democrat alive he could have named who would not evoke instant charges of corruption, dishonesty, far-left fanaticism, mental impairment and, probably before we get to Election Day, pedophilia. That's how we roll now in elections: There's no such thing as a Worthy Opponent. Being an Opponent automatically makes you unWorthy, not just of public office but of walking the land freely.
Unless the person is white, there's also the inevitable Birtherism. It's sometimes hard to tell how much of that is pure racism or just an appeal to racism but all of it is one or the other.
What I'm hearing from both camps now is a recognition that Good Cop has found his Bad Cop. There was always the feeling that Joe Biden was too nice to take on Donald Trump; that he was not a good hurler of mud, willing to abandon all dignity and hurl every conceivable accusation and insult at the other side. Trump's desperation shows in how he's already pressing it to the max. If in August, you claim your opponent will destroy all religion and "hurt God," how do you ramp up the invective the last week of October?
Anyway, there seems to be a general consensus that Senator Harris is a fighter who will answer the Trump attacks with equal fervor, only with some dignity. She will also eviscerate Mike Pence on a debate stage. Sadly for Pence, they'll probably be in separate locations for that match-up. He won't be able to get the debate canceled by saying his wife won't allow him to be alone in a room or on a stage with a woman.
So Democrats are energized that there's now someone capable of being firmer/nastier (take your pick) with Trump and Republicans are annoyed because there's now another fighter in the ring and she comes out swinging. I guess that means Joe made a good choice.
Lots of e-mails are asking me what's coming up in terms of webcasts. Next Tuesday, August 18 at 7 PM Pacific Time, I resume my one-on-one Conversations with friends. The fine writer of comic books, Kurt Busiek, and I will be chatting about many aspects of that field. One will be popular misconceptions that some folks seem to have about how comic books are (or were) made. This will be a very fine place to ask your questions about how the industry works when it works, which is not all the time.
On Saturday, August 22nd at 4 PM (also Pacific Time), I will host an online version of the Business of Cartoon Voices panels that I do every year at Comic-Con International in San Diego. These are not like the panels where I get a bunch of great cartoon voice actors together to demonstrate their craft, read a script aloud and, generally, be very funny. This is a panel for those who want to know how one gets into the field. It's all about agents and demos and training and unions and auditions and the basic professionalism one needs to have to be a professional.
I will be joined by two top voice actors who also teach — Bob Bergen and Debi Derryberry — and two of the best voice agents. One of the agents will be Cynthia McLean, who covers the areas of Animation, Interactive/Games, Motion Capture, and Commercial Voiceovers for SBV Talent. The other will be Paul Doherty, who is Secretary-Treasurer of the Cunningham-Escott-Slevin-Doherty Talent Agency.
You can find hundreds of folks on the web who will explain to you how the business works. You will not find a grouping of four people who are more involved in the actual workings of that business.
There will be another Cartoon Voices Panel with five great cartoon actors demonstrating their talents, reading a script and, generally, being very funny but I don't know when.
Actually, this one's more of an audio link. It's almost ten minutes of an interview that Stan Laurel gave in 1959. It's interesting to me for many reasons, one being that there's nothing in his voice or what he says that would give you any hint you're listening to one of the greatest comic minds of the previous century…
Working all day on a script and staying pretty much off the web, I missed the news that Joe Biden had announced Kamala Harris would be his running mate. I figured it out when I looked at my iPhone and a message popped up that Tucker Carlson had delivered a scathing attack on the personal integrity of Kamala Harris.
So natch, I thought, "Biden must have announced she's his running mate." It could have just been a rumor at that point but I didn't think Tucker Carlson would waste a perfectly-good scathing attack on someone's personal integrity on a rumor. He might then have to deliver another scathing attack on the personal integrity of the real choice.
Remember when elections were about explaining why your opponent's plans for the country were wrong? Now you just say that their plans would completely destroy America (and maybe the planet) and every single thing folks care about — motherhood, religion, free speech, Netflix, chocolate fudge sundaes, etc. — and you spend the rest of the time talking about how corrupt and dishonest they are.
Senator Harris seems like a decent choice to me. So did most of the other names that were mentioned. I think this election is going to come down to whether voters want Trump or Not Trump and the Democratic ticket is just as Not Trump as it was without her. But she's a good speaker and because she's from California, her seat would remain with the party. Frankly, I can't think of anyone Biden could have picked who would have moved many votes. Maybe Dr. Fauci.
I wonder if there even are many left that are movable. The press keeps posting these comparisons of where Biden is in the polls as compared to Hillary Clinton four years ago. It just feels to me like it's a different kind of election. The people who are dead-set on voting for Trump are deader-set this time than last time. The folks who think he's been the worst president ever are surer of that than the ones four years ago who thought he would be.
One thought about the debates: It looks like they're going to be with the candidates and questioners in separate locations all on-screen in little boxes like a Cable News roundtable. They'll probably have to draw up special rules to cover this format and wouldn't it be interesting if it went like this…?
Candidate A is asked a question by the interrogators. Candidate A gets two minutes to respond during which Candidate B's microphone is shut off so he can't interrupt or talk over his opponent.
Candidate B then gets two minutes to rebut, during which Candidate A's mike is muted.
Then there's two minutes when both microphones are on and they can talk back and forth as much as they like.
In the Trump/Hillary debates, Trump liked to talk over her, say things like "Wrong!" before she'd finished the sentence, and just generally try to knock her off each message. Might be interesting to see neither guy be allowed to do that and the other allowed to finish a complete thought. This is even assuming there even are debates and that either man has a complete thought. With these guys, who knows?
