Nate Silver's 538 website has just flipped Georgia from being "slightly favored" to go for Trump to "slightly favored" to go for Biden. This is not a state Biden needs. Indeed, he could lose Georgia and also the "swing states" of Florida, Arizona and North Carolina — all of which have him currently leading — and still win the Electoral College. But Trump probably needs all of them and Georgia's a real tough state for a Republican to not win by a big margin. Trump carried it by five points last time and now he's approximately tied.
Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 218
My Trump-opposing friends seem to be divided about this Town Hall that he's doing tonight on NBC. Roughly half seem to think it's shameful that the network is giving this man air time; that he should either do the planned Town Hall with Biden or keep the hell off their television sets. The rest seem to think that the more the public sees of him, the less likely they are to vote for the guy. One suggested Biden in his competing town hall should just keep telling viewers to switch over to NBC.
Me, I'm kind of feeling it doesn't matter; that anyone who hasn't voted yet or isn't sure how they will is going to flip a coin or vote for Howie Hawkins (he's the Green Party candidate) or not vote or something. Still, more votes for my guy is always nice.
And I think it says something that most of you don't even know who the Green Party candidate is this time and I had to go look it up. The last two times out, we all knew it was Jill Stein.
I'm not watching much of the mud-wrestling though I have to admit to a certain fascination with Trump's ranting about the Nobel Peace Prize(s) he thinks he won or deserves a few dozen of or something. Being nominated for one is absolutely meaningless since hundreds of people are nominated each year, usually by one person, and the judges who actually pick the honoree must not take even take 98% of those nominations seriously.
Trump doesn't understand that. He doesn't understand that the best anyone can possibly do there is to win one, not a shelf full. He doesn't even understand that being "nominated" doesn't mean you've got a real shot at winning. It's like buying a lottery ticket and figuring out how you're going to spend all that money.
I'd be surprised if he even knows what the Nobel Peace Prize is. He just knows he doesn't have one and he wants a few, like he wants his face on Mount Rushmore and on all the stamps and money.
So there are all these clips of him complaining that the evil news media didn't make a headline story out of his "three" nominations — which were actually two different right-wing guys with no clout nominating him for the same one award — like the evil news media did with Obama. There was actually no attention paid when Obama was nominated and not all that much when, unlike Trump, Obama won.
But it's so important to Trump to always be The Victim, unfairly denied recognition of his greatness…so important to convince people that the only news reported about him that's true is the good stuff and even that isn't good enough…
Years ago when Ross Perot took his best shot at becoming President of the United States, he went on Larry King's show and other programs just before Election Day and confidently predicted he would get all 538 Electoral Votes. He would carry every single state in a landslide. And then when the actual votes were counted, he didn't come within fifty miles of winning even one of the electoral variety. The closest he came was 30% of the popular vote in Maine.
I wondered a lot about how much Mr. Perot actually believed he was going to win at all, let alone by the biggest victory in the history of politics. Even dictators who can have you killed for not voting for them don't win like that.
And I also wondered about the simple wisdom of predicting that because I think it made him look like a nutcase to voters who decided at the last minute. He may also have convinced a few of his supporters they could stay home because their ballots weren't needed.
There's a fine but significant line between spewing bullshit and actually believing your own bullshit and I still have no idea which side of that line Perot was on. Or quite where Donald Trump — the highly-aggrieved deserving winner of multiple Nobel Peace Prizes — is.
I've been nominated for three Emmy Awards and I've won a grand total of None of Them. I can live with that. What gripes me is that the friggin' Hollywood Reporter didn't run headlines saying I won six of them. Over the years, they've announced that Commie/Liberal Ed Asner has won seven. It's not fair, I tell you. It's not fair.
Sweet and Sour
Most of you know that I don't like candy corn and a few of you have somehow figured out that I don't like Donald Trump. And so far, fourteen of you have sent me this photo which you found somewhere on the Internet. Thank you and you can stop now.
Today's Video Link
A salute to George and Ira Gershwin by Michael Feinstein and friends…
Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 217
Tomorrow night, there's a Town Hall with Joe Biden on ABC opposite a Town Hall with Donald Trump on NBC. We really have turned this election into a reality show. If I ran CBS, I'd schedule a Town Hall with Daffy Duck opposite them and win the time slot.
It's getting easier for me to pay very little attention to The Election. If there's an upset coming, there's zero evidence of it on the horizon. Trump's pretty much thrown everything he's got at Biden and none of it's sticking. (Even Bill Barr couldn't gin up evidence that Obama and Biden had conspired against Trump, though Barr's going to do all he can to hide the report that exonerates them.) I think a lot of people are voting early because they figure that once their ballots are in, they no longer have to listen to any of this stuff.
Partial Change of Subject: Like you, I don't like getting Spam e-mail. I have a separate account without my name on it and I divert most of it there. My endless messages telling me Donald Trump personally is asking the whereabouts of Mark Evanier's donations are all going there along with the messages from folks who want me to help them claim their $22,000,000 windfalls which they'll share with me.
That mailbox also contains an awful lot of messages from gorgeous, lonely women who've never seen me and have no idea where I live but they're dying and ready to meet in person with me for sex. There are also messages from companies that have invented a foolproof way to enlarge the body part of your choice…which I guess I might need if I start meeting with those women who've never seen me and have no idea where I live…
What strikes me about most of this e-mail is how unbelievably stupid they must believe the recipients of these messages are. You'd have to have the brains of an unsprouted Chia Pet to fall for some of these…and I guess somewhere, someone does. "Gwen" keeps writing me of how she dreams day and night of us making "hot monkey love" and I wonder how often she wrests money from some guy who thinks that (a) there is a Gwen, (b) "she" is someone with whom one would want to have "hot monkey love" and (c) "hot monkey love" is something pleasurable. I mean, it could involve flinging your feces at each other or just working for an organ grinder.
It's always seemed to me — and I think I've said this here before — that the folks who send this stuff out kind of presume that no one with an I.Q. over the speed limit will ever fall for their scams. I never get an intelligent one of these. There probably is an intelligent appeal for money for the Trump campaign but they're not making it…or at least sending it to whatever mailing list they got my e-mail address from. It's like they know 98% of the recipients are too smart to fall for their scams so they're targeting the 2%. I wonder how much that 2% brings in for some of them.
Today's Video Link
Here's something that'll come in really handy. It's all 1004 cartoons that were made by the Warner Brothers cartoon studio — every Looney Tune, every Merrie Melody — all running at the same time. Just what we needed!
P.S. If you've never seen "Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs," it's the twelfth cartoon from the left in the twelfth row — and as you can see, it's a real good print of it. Enjoy!
Chick Parm
Meal Kits seem to be very popular these days. You know those things where they sell you all the ingredients for a great meal and give you instructions on how to cook said great meal? I think the trend started well before The Pandemic but with more folks than ever cooking at home, Meal Kits are more popular than ever.
Except around here. I don't go for them for a number of reasons, one being that I'm a terrible cook. Another is that I'm an impatient cook. I don't see why I should spend a large chunk of my day making a roast chicken when with a few clicks on an app, Grubhub will deliver to me a piping-hot Zankou Chicken and a container of their Basmati Rice in about a quarter of the time it would take me to make an inferior meal…and for about the same cost. (The last time I wrote something like this on this blog, a lady wrote me to say, "I can make a much better chicken at home." Well, good for you, ma'am. I can't.)
And the biggest reason I don't like Meal Kits is because — and they'll deny this but I know it's true — every time one is designed at any Meal Kit company anywhere, someone says, "Now, make sure you put in at least one component that Mark Evanier is deathly allergic to." And then in reply, someone says, "Don't worry. I'm making sure our whole menu will kill him." Okay, I'm kidding about the plot against my life but when I look at the selections offered by Meal Kit companies, that's what I sometimes think.
Recently, I noticed that the Chick-Fil-A fast food chain is experimenting with a Chicken Parmesan Meal Kit. Not all of their outlets have it but the ones near me do.
It comes with prepared, warm chicken filets, a packet of marinara sauce, a packet of cheese, a packet of cooked pasta, a packet of Alfredo sauce, a small box of kale and cherry tomatoes and a lemon. To get what should wind up looking like the above photo, you put the filets on a baking sheet, pour on the marinara and cheese and then bake. While that's cooking, you chop up the kale and the tomatoes, mix them with the Alfredo and put it all in a skillet and then you cut the lemon and…
…and I don't care because they lost me at the baking sheet. Too much work, too much chance of me screwing up…and I can't eat kale or raw tomatoes and I don't like Alfredo so forget it. Just forget it. This is above and beyond the fact that the political end of Chick-Fil-A makes me uneasy about patronizing their business. I do sometimes because I like their sandwiches and I'm unconvinced that me boycotting them will accomplish anything or send the CEO any kind of message. But I don't give them anywhere near as much of my business as I might if I didn't have to think about this.
So though I love me a good chicken parm, all of the above combined to make me decide not to try theirs. And I haven't but earlier this evening…well, let me tell you what I did.
A lady I know was coming over to drop something off for me. She phoned rom her car and said, "I'm in the drive-thru line at Chick-Fil-A getting myself a sandwich. Would you like me to get something for you?" I said no and then I said, "Wait. Do they sell just a plain, breaded chicken filet that's not spicy?" She said they did and I had her get me one.
Soon, she dropped off the item she had for me and also my filet. It was still warm. I decided not to mess at all with the oven. I put a non-stick frying pan on the stovetop, put the filet in the pan, added a big spoonful or two of Rao's Marinara Sauce and a mound of shredded parmesan and mozzarella. I heated it until the cheese melted and that was all it took.
It was a bit small — I should have gotten two — but what there was of it was terrific. I've had way worse chicken parm in acclaimed Italian restaurants. I won't make this often but I will make it again.
L.A. Comic Con Canceled…No One Surprised
The Los Angeles Comic Con, which was to have been an in-person event held December 11-13 has announced it will postpone until September of 2021. Of course.
Today's Video Link
78 minutes of Audra McDonald. What more do you need to know?
The Man Won't Leave Me Alone!
He just won't…
Mark,
CONGRATULATIONS! You've won the Weekly Trump Patriot 700%-MATCH!
Every week President Trump selects a TOP supporter to receive an exclusive 700%-MATCH, and this week, it's YOU.
This offer is only available to you for the NEXT 2 HOURS, Mark. After that, your matching offer will be invalid.
Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT 2 HOURS and your gift will automatically be 700%-MATCHED. >>
President Trump knows that you've been a dedicated supporter, which is why he selected YOU for this opportunity.
He wants to know the moment you make your contribution, so don't wait.
Just contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY for a 700%-MATCH.
Thank you,
Team Trump 2020
I don't know if he's a super-spreader at his rallies but he sure is in my e-mailbox. I've received fifteen of these messages in the last twenty-four hours, including two from Mike Pence telling me I was letting President Trump down. Imagine! With all the Trump supporters in this world, the one he selected for this honor this week was little ol' me!
Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 215
Hey, I made it through the weekend without mentioning you-know-who on this blog. That ain't easy when he keeps popping up in your mind, on your computer screen and in phone calls from friends. A quick look at the polls this morning suggests Biden's farther ahead than ever. I can't figure out how Trump could possibly get to 270 electoral votes without winning a couple of states where all the polls say Biden is presently over eight points ahead.
This morning, the guy tweeted…
We will have Healthcare which is FAR BETTER than ObamaCare, at a FAR LOWER COST – BIG PREMIUM REDUCTION. PEOPLE WITH PRE EXISTING CONDITIONS WILL BE PROTECTED AT AN EVEN HIGHER LEVEL THAN NOW. HIGHLY UNPOPULAR AND UNFAIR INDIVIDUAL MANDATE ALREADY TERMINATED. YOU'RE WELCOME!
Heathcare that is far better than Obamacare at a far lower cost was something he promised four years ago on the campaign trail and he said it was easy to do and would happen almost immediately but he hasn't done a single…
Oh, why am I doing this? You already know how you're voting. You may have already voted. Never mind. Let's move on to more important topics…
A couple of folks wrote about this post saying they didn't understand what I was saying about the Comics Code symbol cutting off part of the Fantastic Four logo. Okay, I'll try to explain it with the help of this visual aid…
The first image shows how part of the F.F. logo looked when it was on many covers with the Code symbol overlapping the "C." If you copied the logo off a cover to use elsewhere (as was done with the poster I was talking about) and you surgically removed the Code symbol, you could be left with a "C" that was not complete. The second image shows this. If you then retouched to finish off the logo, it would look like the third image. Got it now?
Cuter Than You #67
A sheep on a trampoline. That's right. I said "A sheep on a trampoline." Wanna make something of it?
Libraries
The phone has been ringing here all day so you get a rerun instead of a new post. This first ran here on 11/22/10…
Not long ago, I spoke at an event about comic books that was held in a public library. Upon entering the building, two thoughts collided in my brain at the same moment.
One was one of those "look how far we've come" observations. Comic books being heralded in a public library? When I was a kid, a library was where parents sent their children because they didn't want them reading comic books. Or at least, didn't want them reading only comic books.
The second observation was along the lines of, "Hey, I'm walking into a public library. How long has it been since I did that?" It had been quite a while…and the last two times were also to appear at events connected with comic books.
There was a day when public libraries were my home away from home…when I'd be in one at least twice a week to take something out or bring something back. My parents were big on the library and I almost always accompanied them. Then when I was old enough to go on my own, I went on my own. I was in one so often that if I overheard someone ask a librarian for the Dewey Decimal code for biographies, I'd call out "920" before the staffer could get the nine out. Naturally in high school, I worked in the school library…and I could have done that for a living if I'd wanted a real boring, thankless occupation that didn't pay and which would soon be obsolete. (I am not knocking librarians one bit. I admire them greatly, especially those who champion Free Press and public access to information. I'm just lamenting what has befallen the profession.)
Over in West L.A. on Santa Monica Boulevard, there was and I think still is a library I frequented. That I'm not certain it's still there should give you some idea of how long it's been. It was divided into two sections. When you walked in, the Childrens section was to your left and the Adult books were to the right. In theory, you weren't supposed to be looking in, let alone checking books out from the Adult section if you were under thirteen years of age. This is not because there was any pornography or filth on that side. They were just afraid kids might encounter a book that had the words "hell" and/or "damn" in it. I think I was around eleven (maybe ten) when I outgrew the Childrens section. I'd literally read everything in it that wasn't of the "See Spot run" variety. I'd even read all the Freddy the Pig books by Walter R. Brooks, and I didn't even like Freddy the Pig. It's just that I'd run out of books there I hadn't read and perhaps memorized.
My parents sometimes checked out books they thought I'd like from the adult section but what was obviously needed was for me to have the ability to browse it myself. That's when my mother called Mrs. Kermoyan. You may remember Mrs. Kermoyan from this anecdote. She was my elementary school principal and a big supporter of my writing and reading endeavors. I have one other story about Mrs. Kermoyan I'll tell here one of these days but this one is about how she somehow arranged for me to get an adult library card. The next time my parents took me to that library, I was handed a special, magic card that allowed me to read or borrow any book in the place. A moment of great pride.
Card in hand, I marched over to the Drawing/Cartoons shelf (Dewey Decimal 740, I knew) to see what they had for me there. I picked out a book at random, opened to a random page and found myself looking at a photo of a nude woman. What, I ask you, are the odds?
I immediately slammed the book shut — not because I didn't want to see the nude woman. I did, very much. In fact, I later checked her out in a couple of senses of that term. But right at that moment, I didn't want anyone to see me looking at the nude woman. I was afraid they'd think that was the only reason I wanted the magic card and so they'd take it away from me. One of my two great disappointments came when I realized that almost none of the books in the Adult section contained photos of nude women. I'd just gotten lucky my first time out.
That day, I checked out several books on comics and cartoons…and I later worked my way through many shelves of many aisles. Every so often, a library worker who didn't know of me would say, "Hey, you shouldn't be in this section" and I'd proudly haul out my card and show him or her, which made me feel pretty darn special. My second great disappointment would come when I learned that I wasn't the only kid my age to have such a card.
I liked taking books out of the library. What I didn't like doing was taking them back, though I always did. (One near exception came when I finally got hold of a copy of Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy by John McCabe — at the time, the only book in print on my two favorite performers. The L.A. library system didn't have a copy. The nearby Beverly Hills Public Library did. Using my aunt's address, I got a Beverly Hills library card just so I could check that one book out…and I kept it out for months. I'd renew it whenever I could renew it and when I couldn't renew it, I'd take it back, wait around until they returned it to the shelves and then check it out again. I only briefly considered claiming it was lost and paying the fine, which would have been a lot less trouble for me and for the library.)
Anyway, as I began to make a little money, I began to buy books as opposed to borrowing them…and that's about when I stopped going to libraries. A library was no longer my home away from home. My home became a library away from libraries. In some ways, that's not as good because you don't have as many delightful surprises. Then again, I rarely have to pay myself an overdue fine.
Today's Video Link
Cookie Monster goes to the library…
My Latest Tweet
- I just called my wireless phone provider to complain that their spam filter is not filtering out spam calls from them trying to get me to switch to the service I already have from them.