I used to go to Las Vegas a lot. I was card-counting at Blackjack (sometimes) and I was dating a lady in a show there (sometimes) and I just found it easier to work in a Vegas hotel room than in my home (sometimes) and I liked exploring the showrooms and the history and the performers (always). I stopped going when my mother was in failing health and needed me to stray no farther than the adjacent zip code.
When she finally passed, I didn't resume my Vegas-going because my dear friend Carolyn was in failing health. After she died, I went a few times but not as much.
I'd stopped card-counting. I got an "Ask ME" question I never answered as to why. Simple: I got ahead and I got bored. And I was well aware that if I kept playing, there would come a moment when I would slip behind and then I'd feel compelled to keep playing until I got ahead again…and that might not happen. Meanwhile, the showgirl lady gave up that profession and moved away so that was over.
I now find it easier to work at home and since most of "Old Vegas" is gone, exploring the town and the shows and such isn't as fascinating to me. And there's another reason why I haven't been there in over a year but I can't quite remember what it is…
Oh, right. The Pandemic. Almost forgot about that.
And even if I'd been immune to it the past year, I wouldn't have gone to Vegas. So much of it is not open. A lot of what I've seen online looks like a creepy place to be these days. It's coming back but it has a long way to come back before it'll look enticing to me.
When I go back, I won't be playing Video Blackjack. I probably won't gamble even a quarter on anything but I definitely won't be playing Video Blackjack. I'll play it at home on my computer or phone but not for money. But if you want to play it anywhere, you might appreciate a lesson from Anthony Curtis.
Mr. Curtis publishes the Las Vegas Advisor, which has made my Vegas-going much, much better since I started subscribing in 1993 or thereabouts. It was only a printed newsletter then. Now, it's more like a website that you join and you can read the monthly newsletter online or, if you insist, receive a paper version of it. There's also plenty of useful news and advice on their website if you don't subscribe.
Lately, they've also been doing videos. Here's a little lesson in Video Blackjack, which is a lot different from Live Blackjack. For one thing, you can't count cards. You can't even keep track of how many aces are left in the deck because the "dealer" (the machine) shuffles after every hand. And as Curtis notes in this video, some of the rules of Video Blackjack make it much harder to leave with more than you had when you sat down…
Happy Wear Green and March in the Street Day. I'm still dealing with that deadline but I just can't quit you folks for long.
I'm not looking at a lot of political stuff lately. I kinda peek every so often just to make sure Trump isn't still in office but that's about it. When I do plunge in, I always stop by a couple of fact-checking sites, mainly Politifact, FactCheck.org and Glenn Kessler of The Washington Post.
Every so often, I think they come down on the wrong side of whether a false statement is bad phrasing or stupidity, as opposed to a lie…but I find them to be pretty darned accurate, way ahead of any news source I could follow. And it isn't just that they say something is true or false as that they back it up with sources and links and other info that allows me to fact-check the fact-checkers.
Our political discourse in this country would not be the perpetually-wrecking train that it is if more people went to these sites and were open to saying, "Hmm…maybe I'm wrong about that…" I'm not saying you should believe every word they say but if a couple of seemingly-intelligent people tell you you're drunk, it's not a bad idea to try walking a straight line and see if maybe they know something you don't.
Still busy. This originally ran here on May 29, 2011…
As I mentioned here yesterday, I really have only one great memory of riding public buses. This, folks, is it…
It was an afternoon around early 1970. I was on a bus going from Hollywood to West Los Angeles and a man got on…an older man, about in his mid-seventies and somewhat overweight. He seemed so familiar that I stared at him until I realized that he seemed to be Billy Gilbert.
Billy Gilbert was a great character actor who worked, usually in support, of most of the great film comedians. He was in a lot of Laurel and Hardy movies, including their most famous short, The Music Box. (He was the professor who hates pianos.) He worked with Keaton. He worked with Fields. He worked with Chaplin. He worked with Moe, Larry and Curly…and then later, he was teamed in a few films with Shemp Howard. That's him with Shemp in the picture above.
He even did voices for Mr. Disney, including Sneezy in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Oh — and he worked with the Marx Brothers. He was in A Night at the Opera. He played (without credit at the time) the musician who tries to stop Harpo and Chico from playing "Cosi Cosa" on the ship's deck. That's Billy on the left here…
In other words, this was a man who was involved in a lot of movie history, particularly in the kind of movies I most enjoy. I said to myself, "Self, you can't miss this opportunity to say hello to him," and then I hesitated. I thought it was Billy Gilbert but I wasn't 100% sure it was Billy Gilbert. But he sure looked like Billy Gilbert, at least the way Billy Gilbert had looked on a recent TV appearance.
Then I heard another passenger (an older woman) lean over and say to him, "They ran that movie last night…the one you did with Alice Faye."
Okay, so it was Billy Gilbert. I slipped over into a seat nearer to him and said, "Mr. Gilbert?" He gave me a startled look that would not have been out of place in a Three Stooges comedy.
I said, "I don't mean to bother you but I'm an enormous fan of your work and I just wanted to tell you how terrific you always are."
He seemed puzzled and I guess it was because of my age. I was 19, remember, so I probably looked like a child to him. He said, "Thank you," then quickly added, "Do you really know who I am?"
I said, "Yes" and then I ticked off a brief list of his credits from memory. It seemed to satisfy him that I knew who he was. He seemed pleased and that, of course, pleased me. Because everything he'd done on film had pleased me and I figured I was returning the favor, just a little.
Just then, he said, "My stop's coming up" and he asked me to pull the little cord that buzzed to inform the driver that someone wanted off. I did, when the bus stopped a few seconds later, I helped him out of his seat and to the door. He shook my hand, thanked me and semi-stumbled down to the curb.
I don't know why but it didn't occur to me to get off with him. Maybe I could have walked him to wherever he was going and we could have talked a bit more. Just didn't think of it.
That was the only time I ever saw him. And it was my favorite moment that ever occurred on a bus. As favorite moments on buses go, it was a pretty good one.
Busy writing something today…something that's not for this blog. I do that occasionally. And when I do, I put up one of these cute graphics I made using an image of a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup which, by the way, is not only a delicious lunch but also a handy ingredient to use in many recipes.
When one of these graphics is displayed on this blog, it denotes that Mark is busy and may not be able to spare the time to generate the usual amount of content today. Your tolerance is appreciated.
Several of you have written to tell me that today's New York Times crossword puzzle is dedicated to Al Jaffee. I have a feeling that made Al very happy.
I'm dueling with some deadlines so this'll be short. The main argument I'm seeing on the 'net today is this one. Peter Baker, who's the Chief White House Correspondent for The New York Times posted this tweet…
At this point in office, Trump had given five news conferences. Obama had given two, George W. Bush three and Clinton five. Biden so far has given zero.
This brought responses like this one from pundit Eric Boehlert…
at this point in office, Trump Obama Bush and Clinton hadn't passed the most important spending bill in 80 yrs
…while others pointed out that (a) the White House has said that there will be a press conference before March is over and (b) that most of the press conferences the other presidents had had by now were joint conferences with foreign leaders where not many questions were asked and the ones that were were about matters that concerned the foreign leaders.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that it's kinda nice to turn on the TV and not see the President of the United States as much as we saw the last guy. And I don't recall him answering many questions he didn't want to answer, which is almost the same thing as not having the press conference at all.
And yes, I think presidents should hold regular press conferences but you know what would impress me more? Sitting down at regular intervals with good journalists — the kind who don't lob softballs — for one-on-one interviews where the reporter can ask follow-up questions and the president can't dodge them by calling on someone else. Anyone who's reached an important place in government has learned how to give non-answers and evasive responses.
Your standard press conference — the kind where the subject calls on this reporter then that reporter, then this reporter — makes it too easy to dodge questions. Nixon, when he held them, used to have a little chart in front of him that told him where each reporter was sitting and it was marked with the ones who were friendly or who just wanted to be seen on camera asking a question. And some of them asked pretty easy ones because they thought it increased their chances of being called on. I'd rather see my President have to sit down for an hour with Jonathan Swan or Bob Woodward or even Chris Wallace.
In March of 2016, the Guinness Book of World Records certified that Allan "Al" Jaffee (born March 13, 1921) had the longest career as a professional comics artist. At the time of this recognition, it was 73 years and 3 month and it lasted, by my count, another three years and one month after that.
This would be impressive even if all that work was lousy but it was the precise opposite of that. It was skillful and funny and delightful…and if you ever got to meet Al, it was obvious why it was the way it was. Because all those adjectives described Al, too.
Judging from my e-mail, a lot of you enjoyed the Johnny Carson video yesterday. Several of you noticed Teri Garr in a United Airlines commercial and John Austin, who was among those who wrote in, noted this show was the same year that Young Frankenstein came out. She may have done the commercial a year or two before.
Stu Shostak, Kabir Bhatia and a few other folks corrected a confusion of mine. Johnny Carson actually moved his Tonight Show from New York to Burbank as of May 1, 1972, not May of '74. Stu says that contrary to what I said, Johnny did take the show back to New York once — for Thanksgiving Week in '72. Kabir says he did it twice — from November 13 to 30 of 1972 and again for May 7-25 of 1973. I don't know why I thought otherwise.
Two weeks from today, we won't all be in Anaheim enjoying WonderCon. We will be in our homes watching all the great panels that will be available online including three of mine. The entire schedule has been posted here and I'll just spotlight my three…
All of these are on Friday, March 26, all times are Pacific and all panels run an hour, give or take a few minutes…
10 AM – The Jack Kirby Tribute Panel Mark Evanier (Kirby: King of Comics) talks about the man some call "The King of the Comics" with author Neil Gaiman (American Gods) and TV host and mega-Kirby fan Jonathan Ross. They will attempt to discuss what was special about the work of Jack Kirby and why, long after we lost him, he seems to be more popular than ever.
1 PM – Cartoon Voices Mark Evanier (supervising producer of The Garfield Show) welcomes four of the best actors today supplying the words and sounds of animated superstars and the strange beings who inhabit videogames. They are Maurice LaMarche (Pinky and the Brain), Mara Junot (Mortal Combat 11), Brock Powell (Phineas and Ferb: Candace against the Universe) and Anna Brisbin (Final Fantasy VII Remake). There will be a script reading of a script they've never seen before and plenty of talk about their craft.
5 PM – The Groo Crew
The four guys responsible for the comic book Groo the Wanderer — Sergio Aragonés, Mark Evanier, Stan Sakai and Tom Luth — talk about how and why they create the adventures of the stupidest character in all of comics, and maybe we'll get Sergio to talk about his 55 years with MAD magazine and Stan to discuss new and exciting news about his creation, Usagi Yojimbo.
The times given are when these panels will debut on the WonderCon@Home website but soon after, they will be seen on this page and elsewhere. There are a lot of great panels and — just think! — because they're pre-recorded, online and there indefinitely, you won't have to miss one to see another…and you can get a great seat, assuming you have one in your home.
For a few months early in 1974, there was a fad in this country called "streaking" which at times seemed like it existed to serve two purposes. There were people who always wanted to be naked in public and this gave them an excuse to do it and seem trendy as opposed to perverted. And it gave news programs and other shows a way to advertise that if you tuned in, you just might get a glimpse of a naked person…something you almost never saw on your TV back then.
Oh — and it also resulted in a hit record for Ray Stevens. If by some chance you don't know what streaking is, this will clue you in…
A lot of people I knew then did it…once. And I'll own up and confess that I got talked into doing it…once. I was twenty-two years old, which is just about the upper limit for when you should do something like that.
I was dating a lady who lived in a huge apartment complex near the Marina. It was full of single people and on the weekends, there were a dozen parties in various apartments or by each of several pools there. She was throwing one of those apartment parties one Saturday evening and an idea somehow came up during it. I have no idea who first suggested it; only that it wasn't me.
My lady friend was close with a tenant named Ginny who was throwing a simultaneous party in her apartment on the other side of the complex. Suddenly, from outta nowhere, there was a discussion at our party about us all streaking Ginny's get-together.
There were, I think, ten couples at ours and for about a half hour, there was a lot of "I'll do it if you'll do it" and "I'll do it if everyone else will do it." My lady friend said to me, "Well, if I do it, you have to do it" and a couple of other folks said that to their dates. Bluffs were being called left and right and then finally, one young woman began taking her clothes off and announcing, "Let's not think about it. Let's just do it!"
So we didn't think about it. We just did it. A minute later, we were all nude and running through the complex, giggling a lot and getting cheers and applause from everyone who spotted us. And before you ask: This was not the kind of party where a significant amount of alcohol or recreational drugs get consumed. None of us had had any of that and now, close to half a century later, I still haven't.
We got to Ginny's apartment and one of us knocked. Then someone said, "Streakers don't knock" and we tried to go in. The door was locked so one of us rang the bell and when Ginny answered, she started cheering, "Yay! We're being streaked! We're being streaked!" This was, at the moment, a great honor…or something. We ran in to a thunderous ovation and laughter, then ran through the apartment and out the back door.
And that's when we found ourselves bareass naked out on the sidewalk in a very nice residential section of Marina Del Rey. This is the kind of thing that can happen when you don't think about something, you just do it.
We had to walk around to the front of the building where, since my lady friend didn't have a key — or anything else on her — she had to buzz Ginny's apartment and ask her to please buzz us in.
We later heard that at that moment, a raucous debate was going on at Ginny's party about whether they should all take off their clothes and streak our party and if so, how long they should wait to make sure we were all clothed again. I mean, what's the point of streaking naked people? They ultimately decided to think about this instead of just doing it so they decided not to do it.
Everyone at our party was soon back in my friend's apartment, many of us saying, "I can't believe we just did that!" Actually, a very interesting discussion ensued about bodies and nudity and freedom and beauty. It turned out at least three of the couples had not seen each other naked before and they seemed eager now to do more of that; just not in front of others. The general consensus was that we were kind of glad we'd done it…once.
Now, this may sound like an abrupt change of subject but it isn't. As my lady friend said before we streaked, bare with me…
The video below is The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson for March 28, 1974. To put this into context, Johnny's show was still based in New York then but several times a year, they'd come out and do a few weeks of shows from NBC Burbank and claim it was "Hollywood." Two months after this, Johnny moved the show out here permanently, claiming they'd occasionally go back to New York for a few weeks — which they never did.
Among the many things that changed with the move was that one of the world's great comedy writers, Pat McCormick, joined Johnny full-time. Pat had been employed whenever the show was in town but he got a steady gig there as a writer and occasional sketch player. And in this episode, he also filled the role of Streaker.
Knowing Pat as I did in later years, this was either his idea or if someone else suggested it, he was only too happy to volunteer.
It happened at the end of the monologue so it didn't interfere with Mr. Carson's jokes. Near the beginning of that monologue, Johnny mentions that there's a rumor that they'll be "streaked" some time that evening…as if he didn't know exactly when it would happen, who would do it and what he would ad-lib after it.
I once heard Pat talk about it and he said the original idea involved him and a bevy of Playboy-type ladies and that Johnny okayed it based on that. In fact, Johnny suggested they lose Pat and keep the bevy. Alas, Standards and Practices said that if they did that, the whole thing would have to be edited out of the show. It could stay in if the naughty bits were electronically masked and it was just one guy. Pat, of course, would be the one guy and he did it wearing athletic shoes and a Johnny Carson mask.
Later on, the press revealed who'd dunnit and it claimed NBC was doing some sort of investigation that might conclude he should be fired for moral impropriety. I assume that was said just for show and that no such inquiry was done. If there had been one, it would surely have concluded that streaking the Tonight Show was among the more wholesome things Pat McCormick ever did.
This video is of the whole show with the original commercials. If you want to keep watching, they play "Stump the Band" and then Johnny chats with Michael Landon and the man who was arguably the all-time best talk show guest ever, Carl Reiner. They're followed by a song from Gloria Loring and then the last guest is Joanna Cassidy. This is from when the show was ninety minutes…
Your mileage can and will probably vary but I have to say: This year of mostly-isolation hasn't been as bad for me as I thought it would be. I don't mean it was good; just that I was expecting worse. And I am well aware of how bad it was for those whose incomes plunged or ceased, those whose jobs went away to perhaps never return, those who worked but worked in jobs with a certain amount of risk, etc.
There are many downsides to being a freelancer who works mostly at home but at least it prepares you to be at home a lot. It also helps to not be one of those people who loves to travel or who gets claustrophobia from being in the same place for a long time. I don't think I'd do badly if I went to prison and was placed in Solitary Confinement. Which will probably happen one of these days. Just you wait.
My most frustrating moments of the past year have probably been of listening to friends who needed help that I couldn't give them or, worse, that no one could give them. I think it has helped me to not try to predict when it would end and what portions of our lives would return once it does. But I know it adds to the pain of someone who asks, "When do you think this will all be over?" to tell them, "I have no idea."
I still have no idea. I can see light at the end of the tunnel but I don't think any of us have a way of gauging how long that tunnel might be.
Today is not only 365 days since I started my little self-quarantine lifestyle, it's also two weeks since I got the second dose of Moderna, meaning I ought to be as immune as I'm going to get. I have not been particularly frightened of getting the virus since I've been real careful where I go…and properly-masked. I've also been very particular about who I associate with. That will not change but obviously, the list of people can expand as more and more of them get vaccinated.
I spoke last night to a friend of mine who is very, very nervous about contracting COVID-19. Yes, she knows cases are declining…and she's young enough that if she does get it, it probably won't be more than a few days of agony. It isn't the few days of agony that scares her. It's the fear that she might infect someone else, especially her parents. She lives with them and could never forgive herself if she was the reason they caught it.
I don't believe in worrying as much as she does but I do believe in being as cautious as she is.
