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"Jeepers Creepers" was a hit song of the late thirties and early forties, written by Harry Warren and Johnny Mercer — two men who between them, seem to have written more than half of the memorable tunes of that era. It was popularized by Louis Armstrong and later recorded by Sinatra and Tony Bennett and all the biggies. Unlike today when popular music has more of a tendency to stay in its own decade, I recall hearing "Jeepers Creepers" a lot on TV when I was a child of the fifties and sixties. It even popped up in a couple of cartoons.

Here's my favorite one-man quartet, Julien Neel, with the barbershop version of it…

1-Upsmanship

Back in the seventies when I was new to the teevee business, I'd occasionally run into a writer I knew who more or less lived to piss on the achievements of others. He wasn't a bad guy when he wasn't doing this but he was always doing this.

The guy had some sort of insecure competitive streak in him that always had to "top" you; like he'd always ask you what kind of car you were driving. It didn't matter what you said because whatever you said was a boneheaded choice on your part and you should have consulted with him first because if you had, you wouldn't be driving that piece o' crap you bought.

He'd always ask you what you were working on…and you could have told him the best, highest-paying job in the business and he'd tell you he'd turned it down because the money was shit. That kind of person.

Most of you never heard his name because I don't think he ever worked on a successful or respected show. Even as he was telling you that you'd accepted a job that was beneath him, he was working (probably) for a lot less on a show three stations below whatever you were working on. And he was wearing a toupee that Quincy Magoo could have spotted as a shag carpeting remnant from the 99 Cents Only Store.

But he still thought he was topping you. And the odd thing about the fellow was not that he always thought he was "winning" when he wasn't. It was that he was winning "competitions" that he made up and you didn't know or care about.

Back then, a lot of Show Biz revolved around "the trades" — two almost-daily newsletters that everyone in the field subscribed to or at least glanced upon often. They were The Hollywood Reporter and Variety and they still exist as online sites that matter a whole lot less than they did when they were on paper. The guy — the one I'm writing about here — would always ask me if my name had appeared in them yet.

No, it hadn't. I was working but no, my name hadn't appeared in either yet. Neither had his.

Then one day, his did. I don't know what for. I didn't see it. But my phone rang shortly after and I was surprised, first of all, that he'd located my number and secondly that he said, "I've been waiting for your call." From there, it went like this…

ME: Was I supposed to call you?

HIM: You most certainly were.

ME: What, may I ask, was I supposed to call you about?

HIM: If you were any kind of gentleman, you'd have called to congratulate me on getting my name in the trades before you did.

He was miffed when I told him I hadn't noticed his name in the trades and disbelieving when I told him I didn't even look that closely for my name in those papers. Clearly in his head, there existed some sort of primal competition — so obvious that we didn't even have to agree on it — where we were dueling to see which of us could have our names in the trades before the other. It's very easy to win when you make up the contests, especially without telling the other person. He also thought I must be devastated to have lost this battle I'd never known existed.

It's so important to some people to "win," even that way. Success is insufficient without a loser so you can say, "I beat him."

In later years, I heard from others that he'd told them we'd had a contest to see who'd been mentioned first in Variety and/or Hollywood Reporter, him or me, and that I'd lost. And not only had I lost but I'd been such a sore loser that I didn't even call him to admit defeat.

I don't understand this but I am very sure that I won one contest with him that he didn't know about. His obituary has already been in the trades and mine hasn't. I don't think. I haven't checked lately.

Today's Video Link

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from six people named Nathan Martin…

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In late 1955 when the Broadway show My Fair Lady first went into rehearsal, there were two immediate problems. One was that Julie Andrews, who originated the role of Eliza in the musical, couldn't master an acceptable Cockney accent. She could sing and speak beautifully as Eliza after the character had been coached in linguistics by Henry Higgins…but she spoke too well to be convincing in the early parts where Eliza hadn't yet learned to speak like a lady.

It was so bad that at one point, Rex Harrison — cast as Higgins — refused to rehearse any longer with her. He declared it a waste of time as Ms. Andrews would certainly need to be replaced in the part. Eventually though, she mastered it.

The other immediate problem was that Mr. Harrison, who'd never appeared before in a musical, could not sing with the full orchestra. It terrified him and it also insisted on playing the tunes as per the sheet music, whereas he never sang one of his numbers the same way twice. As with his co-star, he finally got the hang of it and My Fair Lady went on to become a smash hit and one of the most honored stage productions of all time.

In early 1960, Andrews and Harrison agreed to be very good sports and to appear on a CBS TV special and "re-create" scenes from those early rehearsals, telling the world how terrible they were during the show's formative weeks. Thanks to my friend Vince Waldron for letting me know about this…

ASK me: Comic Book Credits

Dan Jameson wants to know…

I understand that in most comics, one artist draws the comic in pencil and then another artist goes over his lines in ink and that second artist is called an "inker." But I sometimes see comics, mostly older ones, where the second artist is credited as an "embellisher" or sometimes a "finisher." What's the difference?

Okay, first thing you need to know is that a lot of credits — especially credits written by Stan Lee or by someone trying to sound like Stan Lee — have used these terms according to no firm definition or set of rules. Stan liked to make things like credit boxes sound interesting so he sometimes phrased things different ways just to be colorful. There are comics that said "Inked by Joe Sinnott" and comics that said "Embellished by Joe Sinnott" where Joe did the exact same thing.

However at times in comics, you have a situation where they decide to have the penciler (the first artist in the assembly line) do a little less of the work and to have the inker (the second) do more. Like, the first guy would do less-finished art with less-detailed backgrounds and the second guy would tighten things up or draw the background or something. When it came time to write the credits, some (I emphasize: some) composers of those credit boxes would use "embellisher" or "finisher" to denote more effort/input by the second artist. And the first artist's credit might be the same or something more ambiguous.

If you treat this kind of thing like there are firm, consistent rules, you're making a mistake.

While we're at it: Someone — in an e-mail I can't find at the moment — asked me a question about credits and you don't need to know the question but the answer would be something like this…

Sometimes in the production of a comic, usually because of a deadline problem, another artist may pop in for a few pages. For example, Frank Giacoia couldn't get Captain America inked by the date they needed it so he (or the editor) had Joe Giella ink a few pages. And that person might or not have been credited. Whether Stan Lee knew about the assist or not, he often did not credit someone who did a few pages.

Also: In the above example, it doesn't mean Frank Giacoia was at fault for not getting the work done. Sometimes, the company piles the work on and makes it impossible. You might have an exchange like this…

EDITOR: Frankie, I need you to ink a Hulk story by next Tuesday.

FRANKIE: I can't do it. I have to finish this Daredevil you gave me.

EDITOR: I'm in a jam here. Can't you get someone to help you?

I sometimes see a post on Facebook or wherever in which someone noticed a style change in the artwork and assumed the artist screwed up and someone else had to come to the rescue. Not always. I, with my extremely-limited skill set, once helped Alfredo Alcala out by inking a lot of backgrounds on a Batman story he inked for DC. Alfredo might just have been the fastest artist who ever worked in the comic book industry but even he couldn't grow an extra drawing hand when he needed one. DC had sent him three full issues to ink and they wanted them all, day after tomorrow.

It was not his fault he needed help…and I was not much. Even I can't look at the finished issue on which I assisted and see a trace of what I did. Alfredo called and asked me to come over and I probably helped him more by bringing dinner along. And of course, I did not receive credit for my inking or for stopping off at Pollo Loco on the way.

ASK me

Today's Video Link

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from The TV Themes Band…

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 421

Not long ago, many of my friends were fretting about the closure of the Pacific Theatre empire including the ArcLight cinema operation and the Cinerama Dome theater in Hollywood. We told you someone would come along to buy all or parts of it and reopen…and it looks like that's just what's going to happen.

We all know how our lives have changed due to coping with The Pandemic. A few friends and I have lately found ourselves on the topic of which of those changes will stick around after it's All Clear. I've grown to really like firms like Instacart and Grubhub which deliver food and supplies to my door. I won't use them as much but I'll use them more than I did before.

I think a lot more companies will be open to employees working from home. I think you'll see a lot of mask-wearing in public, especially during Flu Season. Most folks won't be as automatic to shake hands. A lot of us have gallons of Hand Sanitizer to use up. Things like that.


I have no opinion about whether Donald Trump should be allowed on Facebook or not. Part of me thinks nobody should be allowed on Facebook, including me. Or maybe just me. It would be a lot of fun to have it to myself.

A lot of people seem to think that Freedom of Speech is the right to say anything you want anywhere via any means you wish to use and to have everyone hear you. The relevant part of the First Amendment says "Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press…" Nothing in there about Facebook.

And it seems like most of the people now howling that Trump should be on any platform he chooses are also in favor of muzzling the press.

Today's Bonus Video Link

And what a bonus it is! Our friend, the multi-talented Shelly Goldstein has this to say (sing) about the slowly (too slowly) disappearing Pandemic…

My Latest Tweet

  • Did you hear about the surgeon who put himself through medical school working at a Five Guys restaurant? He's great in the operating room but before he closes up a patient, he dumps in an extra scoop of fries.

Today's Video Link

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from Giuliano Ligabue…

Today's Video Link

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from Yvan Jacques — and by the way, the name of the gent who wrote the parts of the song that Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera didn't was Hoyt Curtin, not Hoyt Curtain…

Mushroom Soup Tuesday (Continued)

Same as yesterday. Still working on a script that an editor inexplicably thinks is more important than posting to my blog. Doesn't this person understand that if you have a blog, nothing is more important than posting to it? Just because something pays doesn't put it ahead of writing about comic books and tomato soup and Frank Ferrante. Let's have some priorities, please.

Today's Bonus Video Link

A song from Wicked performed by the original cast…

Today's Video Link

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from The Melbourne Ska Orchestra…

My Latest Tweet

  • Derek Chauvin wants a new trial. Donald Trump wants a new election. I want a new Stephen Sondheim musical.