Here are two stories from the Reuters News Service.  Compare the Gore quotes and ask yourself how they could have gotten things this far wrong…

Al Gore Says Now Restaurateur in Tennessee
Thursday, November 29 1:51 PM ET

LAGOS, Nigeria (Reuters) – Former Vice President Al Gore told a Nigerian audience on Thursday that he now runs a family restaurant in Tennessee.

Gore narrowly lost the 2000 U.S. presidential election to Republican George W. Bush.

"This has been a time of transition for me and it hasn't been easy," Gore told an audience at the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs."

"For example, there are usually a lot of cars on the road. Now it takes a lot longer to get around, and given that I haven't driven for eight years, I'm not sure it's wise (to drive)," said Gore, who was driven in a limousine while he was vice president.

He also told the capacity audience that he had started the new family enterprise in his home state.

"We have started a family restaurant in Tennessee and we are running it ourselves. It is a low-cost restaurant," he said.  "I am also a visiting professor or VP for short."

Spokesmen in the United States were not immediately available to provide further details.

That's the first story.  Here's the second story…

CORRECTION: Al Gore Restaurateur Story Withdrawn
Friday, November 30 6:23 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Nov. 29 LAGOS, Nigeria, story headlined "Al Gore says now restaurateur in Tennessee" is wrong and is withdrawn. The story was based on an erroneous hearing of Gore's remarks.

According to a transcript provided by a representative for Gore, the former vice president said "…we stopped at a little family restaurant in Tennessee. We were eating there by ourselves. It was a low-cost restaurant called Shoney's."

There will be no substitute story.

This is a pretty good example of how much we can trust the news.  And, uh, how come it took more than 24 hours to correct this?

• Times Cries Eke! Buries Al Gore! by Gore Vidal, The Nation
• A Better Definition of Patriotism by Senator John F. Kerry
• No Lawyer to Call by Stephen Gillers, New York Times
• A Sashay to the Right, Some Smiles From The Left by Richard W. Stevenson, New York Times

The above links are to articles that the operator of this website believes contribute to the national debate. He does not necessarily agree with all or any of what they say…and you won't, either.

In 1965, my friend and frequent employer Lee Mendelson produced his first animated TV special.  Bill Melendez and his crew animated it, based on a script by Charles M. Schulz which was, in turn, based on Schulz's rather popular newspaper strip, Peanuts.  The folks at the network hated it and predicted it would bomb… but it wound up being quite popular, winning every award it could possibly win.  It catapulted Mr. Schulz's lovely little strip into a merchandising phenomenon, and launched Mendelson-Melendez on a career of producing award-winning animated specials.  Several of the songs, expertly crafted by Vince Guaraldi, have become standards.

Over the years, A Charlie Brown Christmas has been rerun more often than any other prime-time TV special.  For some folks, Christmas isn't Christmas 'til they see Good Ol' Charlie Brown bring home that ratty Christmas tree and see that weird kid doing that weird dance in the musical sequence.  Alas, over the years, the increased number of commercials in a network time slot has forced a few minutes to be trimmed from this classic animated work.

This year, the annual event switches from CBS to ABC and reverts to its original, restored glory.  A 17-minute documentary has been prepared on the creation of the special and, by putting all this together and adding in Whoopi Goldberg as host, they can put it all in an hour time slot and not have to cut anything from the original show, save for the plugs for Coca-Cola.  It airs Thursday evening, December 6 at 8 PM.  Enjoy, enjoy.

• The Press Vs. Al Gore by Eric Boehlert, Rolling Stone
• Questioning the President's Authority by Senator Arlen Specter
• Null and Void: Guarantees of Liberty by Joe Conason, New York Observer
• Anti-Terror Wiretap Rule Is Illegal by Samuel Dash, Newsday

We especially recommend taking a look at the Eric Boehlert piece. Also, here's a link to an interview with Gene Lyons, whose columns are often included in the above box, and whose reportage has offered some very different views of the Clinton years.

About thirty-four people have now inadvertently sent me e-mail containing the W32.Badtrans.B@mm virus, some of them sending 5 or 10 infected, infectious messages. None of 'em got to me, and I can understand how anyone can accidentally contract a virus. (I got one myself, last year) But I suspect some of these time bombs were disseminated because their unwilling victims did not go to a rather small expense of time and money. You may be willing to run the risk of infection but most trojans are now written to not only contaminate you but to plunge into your address book and e-mail themselves to all your friends. So running a good virus protection program on your computer is a matter of simple courtesy to others.

No virus checker can catch them all. The one I got last year infected me before any of the anti-virus companies had heard of it. But most of the ones that make the rounds could be caught by McAfee VirusScan or Norton AntiVirus. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your cyber-buddies. (I use McAfee ActiveShield, which is for folks with an "always-on" DSL or cable modem connection to the Internet.)

Very few writers live lives as interesting as those they write about.  My friend Bill Woodfield, who passed away last week from a heart attack, was an exception.  How many people have you met who took nude photos of Marilyn Monroe?  Who interviewed Jack Ruby in his cell?  Who put all his worldly experience to work as a writer-producer for, among other TV shows, Columbo and Mission: Impossible?  He was a fine gentleman and a fine writer.

And we're also mourning the passing of Sol Forman.  I never met him but the restaurant he owned, Peter Luger's Steak House in Brooklyn, serves the best piece o' beef that ever entered my digestive system.  Here's a link to the New York Times obit, which will tell you a little about the history of the place.  (And here's a link to the website for this wonderful restaurant.)

After an extended period where I stopped watching Politically Incorrect, I am back to nightly viewing.  For a time, I felt it was too much about phony, tabloid-style controversies, and that too many of its guests were akin to the kind of talk radio host who says outrageous, extreme things not because he believes them but because they're good for the career.  There is, alas, Big Money to be made in telling angry people that they're absolutely right and that their enemies are lying, evil scum.  The only caveat is that you must never, never admit that the other side is even a teensy bit right or honorable about anything or that any accusation against them might possibly be untrue.

Some of those folks still get airtime on Bill Maher's nightly chatfest but they haven't interfered too much with — and have occasionally actually contributed to — some bold and important discussions of issues of actual importance.  And every so often, someone says something extraordinary…like this statement from the Reverend Robert Schuller the other night:

Rev. Schuller:  Thank you.  First of all, you can find things in any holy book.  I'm a Christian.  I believe the Bible.  I can find things in the Bible that I don't like, that I don't agree with, that I think are not — what do I do?  I tell people who become Christians, the Bible is our holy book, but read the Bible the way you eat fish — carefully.  [Light laughter]  Don't choke on a bone.  [Laughter]  Pick the food that serves you well.

Bill:  Wow.  I'm very impressed to hear you say that.  [Applause]

Rev. Schuller:  That can be said for any holy book of any of the religions.

Have you ever heard a so-called "Man of God" say such a thing on television?  I sure haven't.  They all seem to demand blind respect of not so much The Bible as their particular, parochial interpretation of it, and I must admit I'd previously classed the Reverend Schuller as among the worst in that regard.

Like some of my friends, you may have stopped watching Politically Incorrect because you found Bill Maher to be a snide, arrogant presence.  Based on a few personal contacts with the man, I'd say he's all that, plus I don't like his attitude towards women.  But I also think he's a very smart guy and a skillful moderator who, most nights, runs a terrific and, lately, very relevant venue for stimulating conversation.  So you might want to give him another try.

Like Sisyphus pushing that big, old rock up that big, old mountain for all eternity, Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy carted a piano up a long, long flight of stairs in their Oscar-winning short, The Music Box.  As comedy imagery goes, it ranks right up there with the shots of Harold Lloyd hanging off the clock hands, Buster Keaton riding his newly-launched ship to the ocean's bottom, Charlie Chaplin dining on shoe in The Gold Rush, and a whole bunch o' Marx Brothers crammed into a teensy stateroom.  The stairs Stan and Ollie climbed in that film — and also in an earlier silent called Hats Off — were and still are located at the intersection of Vendome and Del Monte Streets in the Silverlake area of Los Angeles.  In the film, empty lots were visible on either side.  Today, there are buildings there…but the stairs remain somehow recognizable.  (Should you wish to visit them, here is a Mapquest link to the location.)

All of this is a way of mentioning that the great City of Los Angeles has finally gotten around to taking note of this vital landmark.  A street sign has recently been erected on the premises, as proven by the above photo.  And by the way, that photograph was taken by Harry Marnell, who operates a nice little Laurel & Hardy site at this address.  If you can't visit the stairs, at least visit Harry's site.  A lot of good stuff there…and not as much walking.

Here's a link to that review I mentioned here a few weeks ago. You know — the one Andy Ihnatko wrote about the DVD of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. He has some reservations about one of my favorite films…and I don't disagree with them but it's still one of my favorite films. Anyway, Andy's review is over on TV Barn, a site you oughta visit often.

We're waiting for The Game Show Network to rerun the two episodes of Press Your Luck in which an unemployed air conditioning mechanic named Michael Larsen figured out a way to beat the "wheel" for over $110,000. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen on TV…watching an entire game show become unglued before my very eyes. The latest out of GSN is that they have the episodes and will soon announce when they'll air. When I hear, I'll post it in this spot. Stay tuned.

Sean Walsh runs a very good website devoted to Jack Kirby's Fourth World series. Sean's is The New Gods Library and you can reach it by clicking here. If you do and you root around in his Interviews section, you'll find a brief Q-and-A with Yours Truly about those wonderful, intriguing comics.

While we're near the topic: My good buddy Daniel Will-Harris is a brilliant writer of computer books, designer of websites and connoisseur of fonts. His website (www.will-harris.com) is filled with info on those topics but also some non-techie topics. A year or three ago, he asked some of his friends to write about the most memorable meal they ever had. You can go directly to my response by clicking here.

TO: The London Times

Sir, I hope that I am not the only person in the creative arts who feels great disquiet about the proposals outlined by the Home Secretary in the Commons today, to introduce legislation to outlaw what has been described as "incitement to religious hatred" (reports, October 16). Having spent a substantial part of my career parodying religious figures from my own Christian background, I am aghast at the notion that it could, in effect, be made illegal to imply ridicule of a religion or to lampoon religious figures.

Supporters of the proposed legislation would presumably say that neither I, nor any of my colleagues in the comedy world, are its intended targets, but laws governing highly subjective or moral issues tend to drag a very fine net, and some of the most basic freedoms of speech and expression can get caught up in it.

I have always believed that there should be no subject about which one cannot make jokes, religion included. Clearly, one is always constricted by contemporary mores and trends because, after all, what one seeks above all is an appreciative audience. However, how would a film like Monty Python's Life of Brian, criticised at the time of its release for being anti-Christian, be judged under the proposed law? Or that excellent joke in Not the Nine O'Clock News all those years ago, showing worshippers in a mosque simultaneously bowing to the ground with the voiceover: "And the search goes on for the Ayatollah Khomeini's contact lens"? Not respectful, but comedy takes no prisoners. However, in period and in context it was extremely funny and I believe that it is the reaction of the audience that should decide the appropriateness of a joke, not the law of the land.

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.

Yours faithfully,
ROWAN ATKINSON

• Government Must Put Safety First, Profit Second by Ronald Brownstein, Los Angeles Times
• Kangaroo Courts by William Safire, New York Times
• Time to Think of Re-Regulation by Michael A. Bernstein, Newsday
• How to Handle Bin Laden by William F. Buckley
• An Alternate Reality by Paul Krugman, New York Times
• Wait Until Dark by Frank Rich, New York Times
• Big Government Becomes Big Brother An interview with Nadine Strossen, A.C.L.U.
• Mr. Ashcroft, Let's Not Repeat Past Mistakes by Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate

The above links are to articles that the operator of this website believes are interesting and which contribute to the national debate. He does not necessarily agree with all or any of what they say…and you won't, either.

In the picture above, the person…er, creature on the left is Scorch, a very silly dragon.  The creature…uh, person on the right is Ronn Lucas, who is probably the best ventriloquist working today.  That's a larger field than you might think, because we so rarely see ventriloquists on TV these days.  But there are a lot of them out there working clubs, cruise ships, conventions, etc., and Ronn is at the tip-top of any list.

Don't believe me?  Then go to Las Vegas, where Ronn is currently booked for an open-end engagement at the Rio Suites Hotel.  It's an afternoon show, which means it's reasonably-priced, even if you don't factor in the amount you're not losing in the casino instead of attending the show.  I haven't seen him there yet but I've seen him elsewhere, and it's really one of those shows where you realize you're in the presence of someone who's doing what they do about as well as it could possibly be done.

Ronn is mentioned in an old column that I just posted to this site — one I wrote in 1996, right after the first time I met him.  But the piece is really about the greatest practitioner of them all, Dr. Paul Winchell.  Click here to read about the both of them.

Have you lost too many working hours playing the Solitaire game that comes with Windows?  Haven't we all?  Well, then you need Solitaire Cheat.  It's basically the same game except that it gives you the power to cheat.  You can download it here.

The game is free but has a harmless advertising banner on it.  Also: If you want it to look like the standard Windows Solitaire game, you'll have to do one little fix.  Windows Solitaire stores its card designs in a file called CARDS.DLL which you probably have in either your Windows directory of your WindowsSystem directory.  You will need to copy (don't move it — copy) that file into the same directory where you install Cheat Solitaire.  Then rename the file CARDS32.DLL.  This way, Cheat Solitaire will give you the same card designs that are in Windows Solitaire.

If the above doesn't work, it means you have a 16-bit CARDS.DLL on your computer.  Cheat Solitaire needs the 32-bit version.  You can find a copy of this pretty easily by using any search engine (like google) to search for CARDS.DLL and download a more recent version.  Put it in your Cheat Solitaire directory and rename it CARDS32.DLL.  If that doesn't work, you downloaded the wrong version of CARDS.DLL, so try again.  This is all much easier than it sounds and, besides, it's worth any amount of hassle just to beat that damn Solitaire game.

Okay…so anyone know where I can download a copy of Cheat Minesweeper?