I have no idea how to go about thanking more than a thousand people for birthday wishes today via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, my e-mailbox and a few other means of communication. I was thinking of doing a big cut-n'-paste like this…

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

…and continuing 'til I had over a thousand and I'd tell everyone, "Your 'Thank you' is in there. You'll have to find it yourself." But yeah, that would be really stupid and if you were nice enough to wish me a Happy Birthday, I shouldn't insult your intelligence by pretending you'd fall for it. So I'll just say this…

Everyone asked me today what it's like to hit the big seven-oh and be seventy years of age. It's remarkably like it was yesterday when I was sixty-nine and nothing at all like what I once thought seventy would be like. Seems to me that people waste way too much time fretting about what some older age will be like. I was certainly wrong. I don't feel seventy with the exception of my knees which feel 108 years old some days. I appreciate all the good thoughts…and if you're worrying about what it'll be like to be some older age, maybe you'll appreciate me telling you that I thought it would be worse than it is and maybe you too will find out it ain't that bad.

Jay Leno's version of You Bet Your Life has reportedly been renewed for a second season. I don't know if I said it here but I told several friends that I didn't think it had a chance. In so doing, I was committing one of the most frequent mistakes in Show Business: Underestimating Jay Leno.

The guy hosted The Tonight Show for close to 21 years in two stints and for all but about 18 months, it finished first in a highly-competitive time slot. That is way better than anyone expected of whoever followed Carson in the job. He could have been there much longer had not someone at NBC made the bonehead decision of yanking him off the air while he was still in First Place.

I suspect in every one of the 251 months he hosted, someone high-up in the TV business predicted an imminent plunge in his ratings and his departure from the job but they were as wrong as wrong could be. Apart from his deservedly-forgotten (and in many ways, sabotaged) show at 10 PM, he's done pretty well since he first started guest-hosting for Johnny. In Bill Carter's book on the Leno/Conan mess, he quotes Conan partisan Lorne Michaels as admitting, "Fortunes have been lost underestimating Jay Leno." I shall not make such predictions again.

In the meantime, I go through cycles when I do or don't watch Jeopardy! and I'm lately a watcher. When they get one of these constantly-returning champions who has it won halfway through the first round, I tend to find other shows to watch. And on this evening's episode, I could have won handily if I'd found some way to inject my opponents' buzzers with Krazy Glue. Knowing the answers is only part of what it takes to win. Ringing in first is a big part of it.

I've watched this show a long time but only recently did I learn something about it which I'd somehow missed. The player with the most money at the end of Final Jeopardy! wins that amount and comes back. The other two players don't get the amounts displayed on their podiums. The second-place finisher gets $2,000 and the person in third-place gets a thousand. Some of the wagers made in that last round make more sense to me now that I know that.

Again, I don't know if I said this here but when they were doing the tryouts, I told friends that I thought Mayim Bialik and Ken Jennings were about equally good. After many months of seeing them alternating in the position, my opinion is that Ms. Bialik sounds too much the same in everything she says and that Mr. Jennings has grown into the job. But I'd probably watch just as often if she held down the job by herself. The host doesn't matter that much.

From The Ed Sullivan Show for November 22, 1970: Shirley Jones and Herschel Bernardi perform a number from The King and I and part of a salute to its composer, Richard Rodgers. As you can plainly see, Mr. Bernardi is perfectly cast as the King of Siam, now known as Thailand…

If you are in despair — or any similar state of emotional frustration — about what's happening in Ukraine, remember this: There's nothing you can do to stop the fighting, the bombing, the displacement, etc. There are people on this planet who can maybe do something but I doubt any of them find their way to this blog.

But there is something you can do to help. I've mentioned it many times here but Operation USA is my charity-of-choice to make a contribution. Operation USA is non-political, non-racial, non-religious. They have no agenda except to help people whose lives have been made miserable for any reason — war and weather being two of the main ones. Very little that you give them goes to the folks who run it or to the expenses of fund-raising. They're helping the people in Ukraine who are without homes or a country. You can help those people by helping Operation USA…

Since my sweet tooth went away around 2008, I eat neither…but there was a time when I wondered what the difference was between ice cream and gelato. That is, besides the price in some stores and the attitude.

• I used to write TV shows where we hired a company to bring in live audiences for our tapings. If they'd brought in a live audience like the one at the State of the Union address tonight, we'd have hired a different company.

The Pandemic has forced a lot of us to alter our life styles and I'm sure I'm not the only person who has discovered some modifications that I prefer.  I have friends who once worked in an office, now work at home…and both they and their employers have decided they like it better that way.  Most voiceover jobs are now done with the actors not commuting to outside recording studios but instead recording in studios they've built in their homes.  It may stay that way even after we have the Absolutely All Clear from the C.D.C.  (A top cartoon voice actor confessed to me that when he records now, he dresses only the part of him that is visible on-camera.  The rest of him is in pajamas.)

I have come to really appreciate the ease of home deliveries from Costco, which I get via my membership with Instacart.  As I mentioned here, once a week I get a delivery from them.  It has to be over $35 or I pay a delivery fee but reaching $35 with Costco is a cinch.  I order two rotisserie chickens — one for me, one for my cleaning lady — and that's $12.42 right there.

When they aren't out of it, which they often are lately, a two-pack of Rao's Marinara Sauce is another $13.42 so that brings me to $25.84.  I can easily make the $35 with almost any supply the cleaning lady needs to keep my home spotless or anything else I want or require.  Recently, it dawned on me that a weekly (or so) order is a very cost-efficient way to shop at Costco.

When I used to actually go into the store, I didn't do that every week or even every month…so I stocked up.  I certainly never get out of a Costco for anywhere near $35.  I bought a lot of things on a "just in case I run out" basis and I probably overbought on occasion.  There were also those irresistible Costco Impulse Buys when you see, say, a set of four snow tires for $34.42 and you think, "I can't pass that up.  What if it snows in Los Angeles for the first time since January 15, 1932?"  (They got two whole inches that day.  Is that enough to require snow tires?  I wouldn't know.)

Costco, using the same principle on view at Disneyland or almost any casino, is laid out to promote the Impulse Buy.  The items you want when you go in there — toilet paper, paper towels, pet food, laundry detergent, rotisserie chickens — are at the back of the store. You have to walk past 7,000 items to get to them…7,000 moments when you might say, "Hey, that's a great price on that." And before you realize you don't need fifty gallons of French's Mustard, it's in your cart.

And then you get to thinking how many hot dogs you're going to need now that you've got all that mustard. Plus, you'll have to have matching amounts of buns, relish, Kirkland Signature Ultra Strength antacid tablets…

True, you don't get all those great free samples by ordering online from Costco. But I'll bet not going into the store saves me a Costco-sized bundle of money.

And as I said, I always get two rotisserie chickens. They're easy, they're cheap (I get about six meals out of one) and they're delicious. So you can imagine my shock/horror/surprise the other night when I placed an order to be delivered the following morning and saw what's just below this paragraph.  I could "request" my chickens but not order them because they were "Likely out of stock."

Costco out of chickens? When? How? Why? Where? That just can't be. It's like McDonald's running out of burgers, New York running out of pizza, the Baltimore Orioles running out of ways to lose, Baskin-Robbins running out of flavors, Kellogg's running out of corn flakes (frosted or not), Philadelphia running out of cheesesteaks, Bic running out of lighters, Trump running out of lies, Reese's running out of Pieces, Gladys running out of Pips — well, you get the idea…

I won't keep you in suspense another moment: I got them. I ordered my two chickens and despite all warnings, they arrived. I'm thinking they were never out or close to being out; that it was just a computer error for a day or so. At least, I hope it was just that. The site where I order them now says nothing about a shortage of rotisserie chickens and I pray it never will. In these perilous, unpredictable times, it's nice to have one thing you can count on. I may check every hour on the hour just so I can feel secure. As of twenty-two minutes ago, they still had them.

Wikipedia tells us that the band Three Dog Night had 21 Billboard Top 40 hits between 1969 and 1975, with three hitting number one…and this was one of them: "Joy to the World," written by Hoyt Axton. Wikipedia also details the extraordinary number of performers who have at one time or another been part of Three Dog Night.

The band was huge in its day. In December 1972, they hosted the first New Year's Eve special that Dick Clark produced. It was called Three Dog Night's New Year's Rockin' Eve. This was for NBC and Clark did one more for that network — New Year's Rockin' Eve with host George Carlin unmentioned in the title — before signing a long-term deal with ABC. The shows were eventually titled Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve.

Getting back on topic here: Amazingly, Three Dog Night — which first released records in 1967 — "Joy to the World" was 1970 — is still performing. They broke up in 1976 but got back together in some form in 1981 and they're at the Seminole Casino Hotel Immokalee in Immokalee, FL this Saturday night and Sea World in Orlando on Sunday. What's more amazing is that the current roster includes two of the original members. One of them, Danny Hutton, got his start in the record business with Hanna-Barbera records.

Here they are on some show in 1971 lip-syncing (with no microphones in evidence) to the record, which is still popular…

You probably need no better indicator of how stupid some people can be than to peek inside your spam folder and see all the messages that promise you great health, sex, money or all of these things if you just click where you shouldn't click.

I just looked in mine for the first time in a week and I have more than a hundred e-mails telling me some person or company I've never heard of is holding a zillion dollars in settlement money for me. There are also many beautiful women (at least they say they're beautiful and women) who are desperate to have sex with me. They don't know who I am or where I live or what I look like…

…but I do have an e-mail address and that seems to be all you need these days to attract the babes…if babes they be.

Especially intriguing are the messages from someone claiming to have a new miracle drug that will help me with those alleged babes…or any other need I may have. The offers are right in keeping with the new thinking in this world that anyone who claims to be a medical expert is one and you should take the medicine they say to take. Buying pills from complete strangers with no known doctoring experience or education…hey, what could go wrong there?

I don't have to tell you these messages are bullcrap of the highest aroma. You're smart enough to know that. But maybe, like me, you've long thought, "These keep coming and coming…can someone somewhere possibly be getting the desired response from them? And now in the era of COVID-19 and the response of some people to it, we have our answer: Yes.

On May 21, there will be a one-day Krofft Kon for fans of the TV programs produced by my occasional employers, Sid and Marty Krofft. The announcement says "The fun-filled day will include panel discussions, show presentations, props, merchandise and a screening of the 1970 movie, Pufnstuf! And of course your favorite cereal will be available at the concession stand!"

Among the stars of Krofft shows appearing will be Butch Patrick (from Lidsville), Wesley Eure and Kathy Coleman (from Land of the Lost), Johnny Whitaker (from Sigmund and the Sea Monsters) and Sharon Baird (from all of those plus others).

Where, you may be wondering, is all this happening? At the historic Orinda Theater! Where, you may be wondering, is the historic Orinda Theater? It's in Orinda, of course! Where, you may be wondering, is Orinda? Orinda is a town in California about seventeen miles northeast of Oakland.

And that's about all I know about this event. Tickets and more info are available here.

Here, caught on video, is the opening number from the Disney musical, The Lion King. I saw this show twice — once in New York about four weeks after it opened there and later out here in L.A. at the Pantages Theater. Didn't like it in New York, liked it a little more (but not that much) out here. I wrote about my these experiences in this post.

But I did like this number…

This evening's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver starts fifteen minutes later than usual and runs for 45 minutes. If you wanna watch, make sure your TiVo or DVR knows this.

Why did the Scottish bears cross the road?

Hello. I'm just barely awake enough to write something here, not awake enough to make it semi-entertaining.

I see where a new study has debunked with some authority the claim that COVID-19 was created in a lab either by accident or, as some insist, a deliberate scheme to infect and enslave us all. The study says it originated naturally — the word "naturally" being the scariest part of this — at an open-air seafood market in Wuhan.

This explanation will be accepted by everyone right after we all agree on who killed John F. Kennedy, if Neil Armstrong really walked on the moon and where to get the best pizza. Folks tend to believe whatever will best serve their immediate domestic political agendas. If pinning COVID-19 on one's opponents will bludgeon those opponents, that has to be the truth.

I'm paying very little attention to the Ukraine situation…just enough to recognize who the bad guys are, who the victims are and how bravely many (perhaps most) of the victims are fighting back. I have friends who are watching this with the same intensity they'd give to it if it was occurring in their own zip codes…and I don't doubt that it is serious and world-changing. But at times in my life, I skew towards the philosophy that I've probably quoted here from Jim Henson…

At some point in my life I decided, rightly or wrongly, that there are many situations in this life that I can't do much about — acts of terrorism, feelings of nationalistic prejudice, Cold War, etc. — so what I should do is concentrate on the situations my energy can affect.

I have come across quotes from Mr. Henson that one could interpret as rebuttals to that quote but it's like the theories of how COVID-19 started. Most of us will believe in the one that best serves our current needs. So I'm not going to give too much of my attention to the Ukraine matter with its acts of terrorism, feelings of nationalistic prejudice, Hot War, etc. If I did, I'll bet the online articles by my man Fred Kaplan would have a lot of valuable insight but I'm not even reading all of them.

This afternoon and into the evening, there's an outdoor memorial service celebrating the life of my good buddy Will Ryan.

I will be speaking briefly at or around 5 PM, probably following Leonard Maltin. The event is being live-streamed between 3 PM and 6 PM on the Celebworks Facebook page for those who can't attend but want to be there in spirit.  Those are West Coast times.  If you can't make it either way, just know that it'll consist of a lot of music with periodic speeches by those of us who were privileged to know this lovely, talented man.

• Today's potatoes are from Keith Wilcox & Sons in Rexburg, ID.