Lizard in My Kitchen

Friday evening, a lady who was visiting me said she saw a lizard in my kitchen. She was trustworthy so I believed her even though I myself had never seen a lizard in my kitchen. About an hour ago though, I did. I went downstairs for the first time today and there, acting like there was nowhere in the world it would rather be, was this lizard.

I took a photo with my iPhone, then asked the lizard politely to leave my house. It ignored me so I decided to ask more firmly. It again did not comply so I went over and opened the sliding glass door out to my patio. When the lizard in question refused to take that not-so-subtle hint, I circled around behind it and tried to physically intimidate said lizard into going out towards that door.

When it still did not comply with my wishes, I grabbed up the lid to a plastic container that was within reach and began to "scoot" the lizard in the direction I wished it to go. It finally grasped the concept and sprinted out the door without so much as a "goodbye" or even a plug for its new projects.   I then closed the door and, just to be safe, latched it.  I no longer have a lizard in my kitchen and now that I know how to do it, I'm going to use this technique on a few human but equally unwanted visitors.

Whadda Ya Say, Old Friend?

The other day, I made a wrong turn on YouTube and found myself looking at this video about Russell Myers, the funny, funny man behind the newspaper strip, Broom-Hilda. The video was assembled by his old high school when they inducted him into some sort of Hall of Fame…

Russell Myers is a friend of mine. I'm not certain how long he's been a friend of mine but if it isn't fifty years, it's darn close to that…and somehow, we haven't spoken in the last five or six of those years. So even though I have pressing deadlines, I decided there was nothing more important than reconnecting with my pal Russell. I called him yesterday and we spent a delightful hour or so chatting. I have a few more friends I need to do this with.

I've always loved Broom-Hilda and even though there's no local newspaper in which I can follow it, I make a point of going every so often to this webpage and catching up on it. It was also a joy catching up with Russell…and a question came up which neither of us could answer. Maybe one of you can.

As we all know, some newspaper strips run an awful long time. Gasoline Alley has been appearing since 1918. Barney Google & Snuffy Smith began the following year. Blondie started in 1930, Dick Tracy in 1931 and Prince Valiant in 1937. All of those strips are still running but they've all had several different writers and artists over the years.

Broom-Hilda started appearing in newspapers on…well, various online sources say it was 4/19/70 but Russell says it was the 20th. Either way, that's 53 years and a couple of days…and all 19,361 (or 19,362) of those strips were drawn by Russell Myers. No one else. And the question is — make that questions are — is that an all-time record? And is there any current strip that's been done for so long by one person?

A couple of places on the Internet say that Charles Schulz drew 17,897 published Peanuts strips and one or two of those sources say that's the all-time record. If that number's right, Russell broke that record some time ago.

"Russell" seems to be a good name for folks who drew comic strips for long periods. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the Australian cartoonist Jim Russell drew a strip called The Potts without assistance for 62 years but he did not originate that strip and it was weekly for the first twelve of those years.

And the late comics historian R.C. Harvey wrote once that the longest-running American comic strip was Mister Oswald, which was drawn by Russell Johnson for 62 years…but that was not a newspaper strip and it was not daily. It appeared in a monthly magazine called The Hardware Retailer which I'm sure you all eagerly devoured. By contrast, Broom-Hilda has appeared seven days a week since it started.

Okay, Comic Strip Experts…and I know you're out there. Am I missing something here?

The Creative Process

Spectreman was a popular superhero TV show in Japan. Created by a man named Souji Ushio, it debuted on Fuji TV in January of 1971 and ran for 63 episodes. The shows were eventually dubbed into English and syndicated on American television commencing in the fall of 1978.

Omac was a comic book created by Jack Kirby and published by DC Comics beginning in 1974. It didn't last long and I have been known to make the case that it, like a lot of comics DC launched between around 1968 and 1976, was a good publication that should have and could have lasted longer if its publisher (a) was better at marketing its wares and (b) hadn't been so quick to cancel anything that wasn't an immediate hit. Omac has since been revived and reprinted many times indicating that some people liked it but its success has nothing to do with this piece.

What do these two properties have in common? There are a few similarities between the characters and their storylines, just as there are some similarities between almost any super-hero comic and almost any other super-hero comic. I'm no expert on Spectreman but the parallels seem to me to be few in number. Still, the other day on Facebook, someone asked if Omac could have in some way been inspired by Spectreman.

I sure don't think so. For one thing, Spectreman was not on American TV — or as far as I can tell, exhibited anywhere in this country — at the time Jack did the first issue of Omac. If it was somewhere, it wasn't in English and Jack did not speak or understand Japanese.

For another thing, Jack told the core idea of Omac to me and my then-partner Steve Sherman in either late 1969 or early 1970. It was an idea he developed while at Marvel a few years earlier…an idea for a Captain America series set in a bizarre future.

It began with the premise that Steve Rogers, the gent who then wore the costume of that star-spangled hero could not live forever. There would come a point — and I thought they'd already passed it — when a guy who was doing superhuman feats in World War II could not be doing superhuman feats a few decades later; not even if he'd been frozen in a block of ice for some of those years.

Ah, but the concept of Captain America could. The series Jack had in mind involved a new guy — or maybe even a gal — going by that name, wearing a futuristic patriotic costume in a very different era. Jack might have done it at Marvel had not the company refused to ever let him have a financial share in, or even a creator credit on any new book he launched or helped launch.

I do not remember every detail of the idea Jack told us then but I remember enough to know some of it formed the basis of Omac a few years later. But this piece is also really not about that.

What it is about is that people who rarely if ever create things for a living often don't get that because a book, movie, TV show or any form of entertainment has one or two things in common with something else, it doesn't mean that one was inspired by or copied from the other.

In Batman #156, which came out in April of 1963, Robin the Boy Wonder encountered a character named Ant-Man. A few years ago on the Internet, a fellow who couldn't seem to read dates kept insisting that Marvel copied its Ant-Man from that Ant-Man — this despite the fact that Marvel's came out close to a year earlier. When he finally grasped the concept of time moving in a forward direction, he became equally certain DC's was plagiarized from Marvel's.

Me, I think it was a coincidence and I have two reasons. One is that while folks in comics do sometimes copy what others have done, they usually wait until something is a smash success — which Ant-Man wasn't back then — to rip it off and they usually don't give their imitation the same name. Makes the crime kinda obvious.

Secondly, in an industry where someone thought of naming characters Batman or Hawkman or Catwoman or Spider-Man, it seems quite possible that two different people could independently think of pairing the word "ant" with the word "man." And the idea of having a teensy human in a normal-sized world had been around in fantasy and science-fiction way before DC launched the tiny version of The Atom (in 1961) or Quality Comics had Doll Man (in 1939).

I am not saying one person's idea might not inspire someone else's…and often you can lay the final work next to what inspired it and not see any similarity whatsoever. I'm just saying that just because one thing reminds you of another, that's not prima facie proof that the creator made the same connection you did.

Jack Kirby was not shy in admitting that the original Captain Marvel (the one who said "Shazam!" a lot) was a major inspiration for the Marvel version of Thor. And now that I mention it, some of you are probably saying, "Oh, yeah! I see the connection!" But that didn't occur to me until I heard Jack say it…and even if he hadn't said it and I noticed a tenuous connection, that wouldn't be proof that the latter was inspired by the former.

Dame Edna Everage, R.I.P.

Also known sometimes as Australian entertainer Barry Humphries. Never met him or her and I have no stories. But boy, was he/she funny…and the best reason in the world to not outlaw drag.

Today's Video Link

As you may have heard, Mike "My Pillow" Lindell offered a challenge: He'd pay five million dollars (that's FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!!!) to anyone who could disprove his "proof" that the last presidential election was stolen. Someone did and now that guy's trying to collect…

Go Read It!

Here's a disturbing article headlined, "Oklahoma's Top Prosecutor Doesn't Want to Execute an Innocent Man. A Court Is Forcing Him to Do It Anyway."

It's the kind of piece where my first reflex is to think, "There must be some aspect of this matter that the reporter isn't reporting here." But I have a hard time imagining what it could be.

Today's Video Link

Nathan Lane takes us through the catalog of plays he performed in on Broadway. This runs a little over 26 minutes and I wish it ran a lot longer.

I saw him in five of these shows: Guys and Dolls, Laughter on the 23rd Floor, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (which I saw twice), The Producers and November. I enjoyed them all but thought that November was a mediocre play made entertaining by Mr. Lane and co-star Laurie Metcalf. There are quite a few other shows covered here that I wish I'd seen but it's nice to hear Lane talk about them…

About Residuals

I first posted this on November 5, 2007 when the Writers Guild was in the midst of a very long and nasty strike. I reposted it the last time a strike by my guild was possible and now that another seems imminent, there seems to be a need for it again. It's about residuals, a concept which often seems alien to folks who work in professions where there are none, nor would they be appropriate. Based on how often this piece has been read and copied, I wish I'd gotten residuals on it…

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Dave Bittner sends a question which others have asked in various forms and which piggybacks on my previous posting…

There's a fundamental aspect of this whole writers strike that puzzles me, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. How did the whole residuals system start, and become the standard of what's considered "fair" in Hollywood? In most other industries, even creative ones, a person gets paid for doing a job, and that's it. There's no expectation of ongoing payments. If I sell my house, for example, I don't send a check to the original architect, even though his design work contributes to the ongoing value of the property.

No, but if a Harry Potter book goes into another printing, J.K. Rowling gets another check. I disagree with you that ongoing payments are not the norm in creative industries. I get payments if an issue of some comic book I wrote in the seventies is reprinted. I get payments if a song I wrote in the eighties gets played again. It is a generally-established principle that if you create something that has an ongoing value — particularly if its reuse competes with new product — additional compensation is appropriate. This is not to say it's always paid. Comic books, for a long time, didn't pay for reprints. A lot of animation work still doesn't pay for reruns. But that's because of the way the financial structure of those fields developed, with creative folks placed at an economic disadvantage and not having the clout to get reuse fees. I don't think it's because they don't deserve them.

Residuals exist for a couple of reasons. One is that they are deferred compensation. Let's say you want to hire me to write your TV special and there's no WGA and no residuals and we're negotiating out in the wild. I suggest $10,000 would be a rational price. You were thinking more like $5,000. I point out to you that this is likely to be a great show that will rerun for many years to come and that you'll be able to sell it again and again and again. If we could be certain it would be, ten grand to me wouldn't seem unfair but as you point out, we can't be sure that it will have all those resales. So how do we resolve this?

Simple. We invent residuals. We agree that I'll write the show for $5000 or maybe even a little less, and that I'll receive another $5000 if you can sell it for a second run and then maybe $2000 if there's a third run and $1000 for a fourth and so on. The reuse fees are not a gift to me. They're part of the deal…and by the way, this is not all that hypothetical a scenario. I've made deals with this kind of structure for animation projects where the WGA did not have jurisdiction. Even some pretty stingy cartoon producers were glad to make them because it lessened their initial investments to have me, in effect, share a little of the risk.

(A quick aside: The other day, I was talking to Lee Mendelson, who produced all the Peanuts specials. He's making a new deal for the early ones, including A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is probably the most often-rerun TV show ever produced. Every time he sells it again, he gets paid again, often at rates comparable to what a newly-produced cartoon special would cost. The thing has made millions and millions of dollars each decade since it was produced and it continues to earn. Would someone like to look me in the eye and tell me Charles Schulz never deserved a nickel after the first run? Lee sure wouldn't make that argument.)

That's a very mature, honest way of doing business. What wouldn't be honest is if we made our deal as per the above and then you did the following. You say, "Wait a minute! I don't pay my plumber every time I flush my toilet," (a famous quote from a studio exec fighting the concept of residuals) and you try to lop off the back-end payments and just pay me the initial $5000 or so. No. The $5000 wasn't my fee for writing the show. It was more like a down payment. I wouldn't have done it for $5000 without the other part of the contract. But every so often in Hollywood, some exec gets the idea that they can maximize profits by reneging on the back end of their deals, and we have these silly, periodic battles over residuals.

Anyway, all of the above is one rationale for reuse payments. Another is a tradition — not in every circle but some — that creative folks share when their work has ongoing value. The reason we have a Patent Office in this country is that we wanted to encourage people to invent new ideas and that means giving them a structure through which they can cash in on their brainstorms and not be excluded from the ongoing exploitation of them. Residuals are one way that writers and artists avoid being excluded.

Yet another is that they are compensated when the lasting value of their work preempts new production. A situation which has occurred quite often in the cartoon business is this: You're hired to do a show and you really do a fine job on it. Everyone does. You get 40 or 65 episodes done and they're so good that when they rerun, kids are eager to see them again and again and so the ratings don't go down much. At some point, the studio says, "Hey! These shows are so strong, we don't have to spring for the cost of any more. We can just run these over and over forever!"

And they lay everyone off.

You're out of a job because you did it so well. This has happened many times and it continues to happen. Reruns narrow our opportunities to work on new product.

So if I'm writing a new show…well, I don't want to sit there and think, "Hmm, I don't want to put myself out of work. I'd better not do too good a job on this." That's not healthy for my soul and it sure isn't the ideal situation for my employer. It's far better for all of us if I have that incentive to make the show as big a hit as possible. That means I have to have an ongoing financial interest if the show turns out to have an ongoing financial value. I won't mind getting laid off if I'm sharing. I will mind if all I've done by contributing to a success is put myself out of business.

There's a lot more I could write about this but I have to get a comic book written this morning and then go picket this afternoon so this will have to do for now. The last thing I'll add is that I've been a professional writer since 1969. I've written comics and cartoons and live-action shows and screenplays and songs and stand-up comedy and commercials and books and magazine articles and…well, you name it. Sometimes, I've been excluded from the ongoing value, if any, of my work. Sometimes, I haven't. The healthiest business relationships I've had have been those where I had residuals or royalties or some other financial participation beyond my up-front paycheck — and I mean healthy for me and for the entity that was issuing those checks. Inclusion is a very wise thing for All Concerned. It puts you all on the same team, working for the same goal.

In all those creative fields, I've never encountered any employer or producer or publisher who thought I, or others doing my job, didn't deserve that continuing share. I've met a number who thought they could get by without paying it and sometimes, they can. But since they get paid for the rerun of the TV show or the resale of the movie or whatever, they certainly understand and embrace the concept of getting paid when a piece of work has enduring value. It's just that some of them want to keep it all for themselves.

Vegas Vampires

Every casino in Las Vegas — and probably every casino anywhere — has one or more employees who work the phones to try and lure big gamblers to come play. These employees are referred to by various titles but "Casino Host" is a very common one. An uncommon one I've heard is "Captain Ahab" because a big gambler is often referred to as a "whale" and…well, you understand.

In all my trips to Vegas, even when I was playing (and often winning) Blackjack, I never came close to the level of wagering that would classify me as even a medium-sized gambler, let along a Moby Dick-sized one. Also, those gambling days were long ago and the casino hosts of that era are probably long gone. They did not call me then and offer me free rooms, free flights and free meals to come stay at their hotels.

Despite this, I've had three calls in the last week or so from three different "casino hosts" (maybe) at three different hotels who say that they miss me, want me back and will shower me with freebees to make that happen. One of them made it sound like the entire staff at the New York, New York hotel is wandering about, deeply depressed because they don't see Mark Evanier at their slot machines.

That was my first tip-off that this was a total scam and not just a little one. I've never stayed at that hotel, nor put even one coin into any of their one-armed bandits.

I stayed on the line with the guy long enough to realize he was trying to sell me a vacation package disguised as a high-roller's comp. To get my free flight, free room and free meals, I would have to give them my credit card number for any "incidentals" I incurred above and beyond what their package of gifts would include. I think we can all figure out how things would go after that. That last caller was even offering to put a limousine at my disposal and to arrange comps to any show in town I wanted to see. Yeah, right.

The thing is: I wouldn't have taken this guy up on his offer even if it had been legit. I used to love Las Vegas but I have zero interest in going there now. The Pandemic has killed much of my interest in going anywhere, especially by plane, and so have the problems I've been having with my knees. Also, Vegas has become a beastly-expensive, higher-than-ever-hustle place: No more cheap shows, no more cheap buffets.

The room rates aren't bad on some dates even if you factor in the mandatory, quietly-disclosed Resort Fees…but I don't see anyplace there I want to be or dine. Even if I still remembered how to count cards at Blackjack, I wouldn't play with some of the new rules adjustments.

They're now repaving and reconfiguring most of the streets there to get ready for the Formula One racing event that's going to take place there in November. The cars will do fifty laps around a 3.8-mile circuit up and around The Strip. To get a hotel room and a good seat for the event will cost thousands of dollars per night…which is why I was immediately suspicious when that first "casino host" called me. That town doesn't care about tourists like me anymore.

Further proof: It was announced today that the Oakland Athletics will relocate to Vegas, perhaps as soon as 2027. Ground will soon be broken on a 35,000-seat baseball stadium with a retractable roof. Total estimated price: One billion dollars. Everything in that city just got even more expensive. Gee, that was a wonderful place to visit Once Upon a Time.

Today's Video Link

The folks at Pop Culture Retro interview Sergio Aragonés…

ASK me: Live Music?

Still on the topic of that performance by the cast of Hair on that 1969 Ed Sullivan Show, Steve Bacher writes to ask…

Was the musical backing for the Hair segment live or prerecorded? If live, the Hair troupe would have had to bring in their own backing band, wouldn't they? Or were there rock musicians on the staff already?

The Sullivan program had a pretty good live orchestra, helmed by a gent named Ray Bloch, which was called upon to play all sorts of music for all sorts of acts. They may have been augmented with pre-recorded music or a few outside musicians for the occasion — it's hard to tell — but I'd guess that a lot of what you were hearing was Ed's usual orchestra.

When I worked on variety shows, I became aware of how many different ways the music can be generated. One time, we had on a singer who was performing a popular number he'd recorded more than twenty years earlier. His voice no longer sounded the way it did on the record and while he still sang it live for live performances, he was reluctant to be heard on network television singing it with his current voice.

The logic went something like this: A live audience at a concert might not expect him to sound exactly like he did on the original record but an at-home audience watching TV would be less forgiving of the change. Many of them would also recognize it if he just lip-synced to the old record and they'd think, "Gee, I guess he can't sing like that any more if they had to use the old record."

(This was not the way I thought. I wasn't even thinking about that kind of thing. But the singer and his managers wanted to make him sound more like he used to, and I think our producers did, as well.)

So what they wound up doing was obtaining a master tape of the original recording without the music — just his voice. It still existed in some vault somewhere and he knew where it was. He'd apparently done this before. Then they slowed it down a teensy-tiny bit and put some filters on it to make it sound almost the way it did originally but not exactly. Then they edited in a few micro-seconds of pause between some words…so it was the same vocal performance but not exactly.

Next, they recorded a whole new music track to it with an ever-so-slightly-different arrangement from the original. When it was all mixed together, it definitely didn't sound exactly like the original record. It was like 97% the original record. He did a good lip-sync job when we taped the show and during post-production, the editors did a little of their magic to put his mouth perfectly in sync with the track. I'll bet any viewer who gave it a smidgen of thought thought, "Wow, he still sounds almost exactly like he did 20+ years ago!" Professional audio technicians might have guessed what was done but I doubt most people could have.

The Ed Sullivan Show was broadcast live. Sometimes, an entire number was recorded in advance and the singers just moved their mouths. Sometimes, just the music track was prerecorded. Sometimes, it was an amalgam. When someone came on to perform their new hit record, the record company might be real fussy about how it was presented, fearing that a bad (or different) performance would impact sales. The record company might even pay for extra musicians that night…or pay to pre-record a slightly-different rendition of the song in another studio with their own musicians.

So this is me taking the long route to saying I really don't know about that performance from Hair. Any configuration of the music might have been employed. But I wouldn't be quick to assume that the CBS Orchestra under the baton of Ray Bloch was of no use with the arrangements for the music that was being played over at the theater on Broadway that was housing what they called "The tribal love rock musical."

(By the way: Reader-of-this-site Raymond Zinsius writes that he's pretty sure that's Melba Moore in the still-frame/thumbnail for the video and that you see her in the video beginning at 2:27.)

ASK me

Today's Video Links

Sorry for no posting today. It's been busy around here.

Yesterday in this spot, I linked you to a 1969 performance on The Ed Sullivan Show…the cast of the original Broadway production of Hair performing two numbers from that landmark show. My pal Vinnie Favale, who worked on David Letterman's show decades later, suggested I also link you to this clip from Dave's show from 2009. It's the cast of the then-current revival of Hair on Broadway performing the same numbers on the same stage. Dave's audience seems to like it more than Ed's did…

And while I've got your attention: If you're as intrigued as I am by the battle between Florida governor Ron DeSantis and the Disney organization, here's Devin Stone — YouTube's "Legal Eagle" — explaining the matter…

Today's Video Link

Here's an amazing clash of generations on The Ed Sullivan Show…in some ways, more arresting than any appearance by The Beatles or Elvis. It's March 30, 1969 and Ed has on the cast of Hair to perform "The Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sunshine In." Hair opened at the Biltmore Theater on April 29, 1968 so they probably arranged to do Ed's program because the weekly grosses were starting to sag a little. Indeed, James Rado, who was one of the creators of the show was quoted as saying of this appearance…

The network wouldn't let us do anything involving nudity, but they did let us have smoke effects and allowed us the run of the theater. I don't think Mr. Sullivan knew what to think of us, but he seemed to truly enjoy the exuberance of the young cast. It was an exciting night and, boy, did it generate a long line at the box office the following morning!

When I came across the clip, I had to go and look up who else was on the show that evening and it was otherwise a pretty typical line-up for Ed — Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme, pianist Peter Nero (playing "Mrs. Robinson" from The Graduate), The Lennon Sisters, The Muppets and three comedians: Charlie Callas, Pigmeat Markham and Dickie Henderson. So you can see Ed trying to have it all ways: Something for the older viewers, something for the younger ones, something for the real young, something for the black folks, etc.

Ed also introduced Jackie Mason in the audience. This was after the two of them had patched up their infamous feud/lawsuit. It must have been interesting backstage that evening.

Dozens of performers you've heard of were in Hair during its first Broadway run, including Diane Keaton, Keith Carradine, Melba Moore, Ben Vereen, Heather MacRae, Meat Loaf, Barry McGuire, Ted Lange, Jessica Harper and Lynn Kellogg. I'm not going to try and identify which of them, if any, might have been in this presentation. The number seems to have gone over well enough but the live audience doesn't seem all that comfy with the ending…

Klepperwatch

Jordan Klepper, who I think it great at what he does, is hosting The Daily Show this week. Here, he talks a little about the show and where it is right now. I always enjoy this program when I watch it but I somehow don't watch it as often as I used to.

Pay Fast Attention…

Each week, the opening titles of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver include one quick flash of a graphic relating to something current in the news. Since it's only on your screen for a split-second or so, you might miss it. If you watched tonight's episode — which was very good, by the way — you might have seen a friend of ours in the opening…and you might not have. If you did, what you saw was two partial images of Al Jaffee folding over to create the above visual with the caption "Mad Hominem."