Lastly: The other night, my friend Carolyn and I went to the Greek Theatre here in Los Angeles to hear a wonderful concert by jazz/blues legend Nina Simone. I got my seats through Ticketmaster and couldn't help noticing some tiny print that appeared on the obverse of my stub…
Warning: Pucks, hockey sticks, balls, bats, racquets, and other objects flying into spectator area can cause serious injury. Be alert at all times when in spectator areas. If injured, notify usher for directions to medical stations.
This amuses me, first of all, because apparently "spectator area" is fancy talk for "the audience." So if you're in your seat or even on your way to it, you're supposed to be on guard for flying pucks. Secondly, they seem to have this printed now on all tickets for any kind of event. When was the last time anyone took a hockey stick in the face at a piano recital? Thirdly, I have no stats on this but I'll bet a leading cause of injuries to folks in the "spectator areas" of sporting events is players flying or falling into the stands…and the disclaimer makes no mention of that. Lastly, is it necessary — and does it really matter in court, which is I assume why this is there — to tell people that if a baseball bat flies into the bleachers, you might get hurt and, if so, you should ask for first aid?
The ticket also says on the back, "Do not expose to extreme heat," which I guess means they're suggesting you don't set fire to it.