McDonald's Math

It is said that the financial empire that is Las Vegas was built on people who are bad at math. I sometimes think the same about McDonald's.

I don't like many fast food hamburgers but I enjoy theirs every so often. The pricing though can be puzzling…and I should explain here that all the prices I cite are what I presently see on the McDonald's app. They may change tomorrow or they may be showing you different pricing based on your geography.

I should also mention that I prefer my McDonald's burgers with no pickles and no cheese but that omitting these elements does not alter any prices. No matter what the size of the burger, they charge me forty cents if I ask for an extra slice of cheese but don't deduct a cent from my order if I have them leave the cheese off a burger that comes with cheese. Now then…

I can order a regular McDonald's hamburger for $2.79. That gives me a burger with ketchup, mustard and onions and one hamburger patty that weighs a tenth-of-a-pound, which I assume is the pre-cooked weight. The app will let me add a number of extra items for upcharges like bacon, mayo or shredded lettuce but it won't let me add another patty.

For that, I have to order the McDouble, which is the same thing but with two of those tenth-pound patties. That's $3.49 so the extra patty costs me seventy cents. That, as you'll see, is a bargain but this is the only time an extra patty will cost me seventy cents. If I want to add two or three more of those same patties, these will cost me $1.29 each. A McDouble with three patties would therefore run me $4.78.

Or for no good reason, I can spend eleven cents more and order the Triple Cheeseburger — the exact same thing with three patties — for $4.89. An additional patty on one of those is again $1.29. That's for the same-size patty that cost me seventy cents when I upgraded from the Hamburger to the McDouble.

Ah, but let's say I decide I don't want any of those translucent tenth-of-a-pound patties. Not for me! Feeling more carnivorous, I decide I want quarter-pound patties. Your basic McDonald's Quarter-Pounder which comes with one of them is $5.79. That's right: A McDonald's burger with .25 pounds of beef in it costs ninety cents more than a McDonald's burger with .3 pounds of beef in it.

If I decide to add another quarter-pound patty to my Quarter-Pounder, that's $2.49 more so that burger would be $8.28. Or I could save a buck twenty-nine — the same amount as one of those extra tenth-of-a-pound patties — and purchase a Double Quarter Pounder for $6.99. Both of those Quarter-Pounders are cheeseburgers but I would have them omit the cheese and, like I said, that doesn't lower any prices.

This is all very confounding. Do you ever get the feeling that this company is run by a clown?