Every casino in Las Vegas — and probably every casino anywhere — has one or more employees who work the phones to try and lure big gamblers to come play. These employees are referred to by various titles but "Casino Host" is a very common one. An uncommon one I've heard is "Captain Ahab" because a big gambler is often referred to as a "whale" and…well, you understand.
In all my trips to Vegas, even when I was playing (and often winning) Blackjack, I never came close to the level of wagering that would classify me as even a medium-sized gambler, let along a Moby Dick-sized one. Also, those gambling days were long ago and the casino hosts of that era are probably long gone. They did not call me then and offer me free rooms, free flights and free meals to come stay at their hotels.
Despite this, I've had three calls in the last week or so from three different "casino hosts" (maybe) at three different hotels who say that they miss me, want me back and will shower me with freebees to make that happen. One of them made it sound like the entire staff at the New York, New York hotel is wandering about, deeply depressed because they don't see Mark Evanier at their slot machines.
That was my first tip-off that this was a total scam and not just a little one. I've never stayed at that hotel, nor put even one coin into any of their one-armed bandits.
I stayed on the line with the guy long enough to realize he was trying to sell me a vacation package disguised as a high-roller's comp. To get my free flight, free room and free meals, I would have to give them my credit card number for any "incidentals" I incurred above and beyond what their package of gifts would include. I think we can all figure out how things would go after that. That last caller was even offering to put a limousine at my disposal and to arrange comps to any show in town I wanted to see. Yeah, right.
The thing is: I wouldn't have taken this guy up on his offer even if it had been legit. I used to love Las Vegas but I have zero interest in going there now. The Pandemic has killed much of my interest in going anywhere, especially by plane, and so have the problems I've been having with my knees. Also, Vegas has become a beastly-expensive, higher-than-ever-hustle place: No more cheap shows, no more cheap buffets.
The room rates aren't bad on some dates even if you factor in the mandatory, quietly-disclosed Resort Fees…but I don't see anyplace there I want to be or dine. Even if I still remembered how to count cards at Blackjack, I wouldn't play with some of the new rules adjustments.
They're now repaving and reconfiguring most of the streets there to get ready for the Formula One racing event that's going to take place there in November. The cars will do fifty laps around a 3.8-mile circuit up and around The Strip. To get a hotel room and a good seat for the event will cost thousands of dollars per night…which is why I was immediately suspicious when that first "casino host" called me. That town doesn't care about tourists like me anymore.
Further proof: It was announced today that the Oakland Athletics will relocate to Vegas, perhaps as soon as 2027. Ground will soon be broken on a 35,000-seat baseball stadium with a retractable roof. Total estimated price: One billion dollars. Everything in that city just got even more expensive. Gee, that was a wonderful place to visit Once Upon a Time.