This will sound to some of you like a story I made up, especially if you haven't been following this blog lately. But it's absolutely true.
The other day, I had to go in for an Open MRI. It's a test my doctor ordered as a "just in case" thing to deal with a slight possibility of a medical concern. The results are back and the concern turns out to be of no concern. I'm fine.
In case you've never had an MRI: They have you take off everything and put on lightweight clothing with no metal on your person. Then they lay you down on a little platform and slide you into a big machine that takes x-ray-type pictures of your innards. You have to lie very still and at times, they tell you to hold your breath and remain super-still so you don't spoil the imaging.
The machine is very loud so they put non-metallic ear buds on you and pipe in music to drown out the sound of the machine. The nurse prepping me asked what kind of music I wanted. I asked her what options I had. She said, "Anything. We connect with Spotify so you can listen to any channel there or any artist." For no particular reason other than that I'd been talking about him lately on this blog, I said, "Give me Neil Diamond."
So I get strapped-in and I'm lying there and the machine is doing its thing and I'm listening to one Neil Diamond hit after another. I forgot how many the man had. I'm hearing "Cracklin' Rosie" and "I Am, I Said" and "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show" and "Forever in Blue Jeans" and "Solitary Man"…
…and at one point, the technician whose voice occasionally interrupts the music feed to give me instructions, tells me, "Now, Mark, for these next images, it's important that you hold your breath and remain absolutely still." Okay, fine. I take a deep breath and remain absolutely still…
…just as the ear buds start feeding me "Sweet Caroline."
I managed to get through those images without breathing, let alone singing, but it wasn't easy. And afterwards as they got me out, the nurse asked me what I was laughing at. Before I could answer, the technician said, "I told him to hold his breath just when he desperately wanted to go, "Whoa-whoa-whoa!"