Usually, I don't answer calls with no Caller I.D. than I recognize but the last few days, I've been waiting for an important call from someone whose number I don't know. So to play it safe, I'm answering everything except calls that say they're from Huntington Park, California.
For some reason, about a third of all the spam calls I receive are from Huntington Park. I just looked it up and Huntington Park has a population of around 60,000. I've decided that every single one of those 60,000 people is a Telemarketer. I know of no one in Huntington Park who disproves my theory.
So yesterday, the phone rings and it's a call from the 904 area code. That's almost certainly not the important caller but, hey, why take that chance? I answer and a man says, "I have your pizza here and you aren't answering your doorbell. Would you like me to leave it in front of your door?" I tell him, "I think you have the wrong number. I didn't order a pizza."
He says, "I'm calling the number that was on the order" and he reads it off. I tell him "That's my number but I still didn't order a pizza. What's the address on the order?" He reads off a street address — house number, street number — and it isn't mine and it doesn't sound familiar. I ask, "City and state?"
He says, "Jacksonville, Florida." I tell him, "I'm in Los Angeles. I'd give you my address but it might be cold by the time you got it here."
He says, "Sorry to bother you. But now I've got to figure out what to do with this pizza." I ask him what's on it and he consults the paperwork and tells me it's "Sausage, white onion, garlic and mushrooms." I tell him, "Mmmm…that sounds good. I'd eat that if I were you."
He says, "Y'know, I might just do that" and hangs up.