As we hit the big Four-Oh here in the Fortress, I'm still fine and feeling quite fortunate that I'm feeling fine. The other day on the phone, a friend who follows these dispatches said to me, "I like the way you're taking it one day at a time," and I thought, "No, that's not what I'm doing at all."
I mean, there's a sense in which you have to take everything one day at a time because that is how you live them. There's no option in my life to experience Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday simultaneously. You have to plan ahead in this world, especially when if you place an Instacart order for groceries today, they don't have a delivery date open until a week from Tuesday, by which time they'll be all out of Miracle Whip.
But it does help — or at least it helps me — to not try to plan too far ahead. Like you, I have no idea when this thing will end or what the world around me will be like when it does. Which businesses will reopen and when? What activities in my life can resume and when and how? I dunno. And since I dunno, trying to plan for that is (a) a waste of time and (b) an avoidable frustration when some or all plans, as they inevitably will, prove futile.
I also think that obsessing about Donald Trump is bad for me. He's bad for the country and thinking too much about him is bad for me. If he's driving you bugfuck, you might want to try it. It's one of those "que sera, sera" deals. Whatever will be will be. Or at least that's how I feel at the moment. I can start caring more when we're closer to Election Day — that is, if he's even on the ballot.
So many unpredictable things have happened this year already that it wouldn't surprise me if Trump or even Biden wasn't. (That's not a prediction. I'd put it at about a 5% chance. Just saying that it wouldn't surprise me.)
I wouldn't feel this way if I could do anything about it. But sometimes when you can't, the best thing is to enjoy the luxury of not being able to do anything about it. I can however do something about finishing writing assignments and cleaning my house so those take precedence.
Something else I can do is more of those online chats…though I've also decided that Zoom is not the ideal platform. It gets unwieldy with more than about fifty people participating and I have about 350 requests for invites to the next one. Zoom is great for conferencing and it has become an integral tool in my life but I need something else. Tonight, I'm doing a test of a different method and if it works out, I'll be setting up more online panels and interviews and they'll be open to all. So there's no need for you to write in and ask for an invite.