Well, I can't say I didn't expect it. Just the other day, I tweeted "It's getting harder and harder to stay friends with people I like despite their belief that Donald Trump is a good man." In this case, I reached an ugly place with a now-former friend who thinks Trump is a great man and "just what America needs," whereas we all know Hillary spends her time waterboarding nuns and running over puppies in a Hummer. Or something.
I didn't know which friend I would lose over this election but I knew there's be at least one. Hope it's only just the one.
A problem I've occasionally encountered — and I try to not do this myself, really I do — is the grand, sweeping condemnation of everyone who thinks a certain way. You know, it's like "Everyone who's voting Libertarian in this election is an ax murderer who molests baby seals." I have to remember that if I ever think that way to qualify my damnation thusly: "Everyone who's voting Libertarian in this election is an ax murderer who molests baby seals.*" And then I would put in a little footnote that said "*Except for my good friend Brian."
At the very least, I ought to recognize that I may not only be talking about strangers. I may be describing Brian.
The friend I just lost (not Brian) doesn't make such exceptions. I was apparently included in a tirade but about the low morals and lower I.Q.s of anyone who doesn't recognize that America is on the verge of destruction and The Donald is the only guy who can prevent it.
Suddenly, it stopped being a discussion. He was just yelling when I decided I didn't need this person in my life. Either a few seconds before or after, he came to that realization about me. Either way, it was the closest we came during that phone call to agreeing on anything.
I still don't quite understand why he's so certain America is doomed or why he thinks Trump alone can undoom it. I suspect my former pal's position has something to do with an emotional problem with a strong woman — which is not true of everyone who opposes Hillary but it sure is of some.
But whatever it is he believes that I don't, there's clearly no point in me talking to this person anymore. I used to want to believe I could get along with anyone. At some point though, I came to realize that there are some people with whom it's not worth the effort; that talking to them is a drain on your life with no offsetting benefit. Every minute they claim of your time is a minute you aren't spending with someone you'd rather be around…or on your own projects and endeavors.
In the case of political arguments — or others which involve deeply-held primal positions like religion — you just aren't going to change some folks' minds. With some people, you can differ but still respect each others' views. You can perhaps both learn a little something by exchanging them in an actual discussion. Or you can take them completely off the table and agree not to go there; not to discuss those topics. I've made all those work.
What's never worked for me — and I wonder if it's ever worked for anyone — is to yell at each other as if the sheer force of the yelling is going to drum a concept in someone's mind. Those people, you're just plain better off without. Maybe I'll look back someday and be glad that this election helped me weed one out.
And like I said, I hope it's just the one. But we have 27 days until the election and there will probably be some ill feelings for weeks after. So it probably won't be just the one.