Fly the Smokefree Skies

What airlines were like before smoking was banned. I remember a few very uncomfy, nausea-filled flights not because of turbulence but because the person sitting next to me considered it their God-given, enshrined-in-the-U.S.-Constitution right to light up and blow it my way.

Once en route to somewhere or maybe somewhere else, I was seated in the No Smoking section — this was back when they were trying to have it both ways — and a lady next to me lit up a butt. When both I and the flight attendant told her she couldn't do that, she responded with what seemed to her like crystal-clear logic: "I requested a seat in the Smoking section but since they couldn't give me one, I get to smoke here." She seemed like a nice lady but she was quite adamant that she had to smoke and that no one had the right to stop her.

There was much arguing but the flight attendant (they were called stewardesses back then) settled it without violence by arranging for the lady to swap seats with someone who was in the Smoking section and not taking advantage of it.

Happily, those days are behind us. Now, if we could just get them to ban (1) people with booming voices who like to talk politics, (2) travelers who haven't showered since they left home weeks ago and (3) non-sleeping children under the age of 13. I also think people with bladder problems should not be allowed to sit in window seats when I've got the aisle.