Fast Feasts

Had dinner the other night at a Five Guys — a little hamburger with raw onions, ketchup and nothing else. I had a bottle of water with it and ate about a third of an order of french fries made from potatoes from Stevco Farms in Sugar City, ID. A "regular" order of fries at Five Guys is about enough to feed a minyan but I've figured out how to keep it manageable for one. I don't like potato skins on fries…or on anything. I seem to have trouble digesting them. So at Five Guys, I just eat the fries that come from the centers of the potatoes and therefore have no trace of skin on them. It whittles the order down by about 66%. If you like skin on your fries, meet me at a Five Guys some time and you can have my rejects.

For some reason, it annoys the heck out of some people that I occasionally mention Five Guys here. Apparently, this blog is so compelling that you absolutely have to read every item here and can't just skip down to the next one if I write about something that doesn't interest you or if, like one person who felt he had to write and tell me this, you never liked Laurel and Hardy.

The reason I write of Five Guys is that I'm amazed it's becoming darn near the only "fast food" chain I patronize. I have changed…not for reasons of health, though that would be a fine reason in and of itself. But I find I just don't like most of those places anymore. In most cases, I assume it's me but I do think, for example, that something has changed about In-N-Out in the last few years. Their burgers used to be wonderful but now they taste very ordinary to me to the point where I am no longer tempted.

I was never particularly tempted by Burger King or Carls Jr. Those were places you ate when you were stuck in an airport and it was either one of them or going hungry. At times, I'd opt for hungry. McDonald's is okay. KFC, I've given up on. Remember how great it was about three corporate owners ago? Today's product is nothing like that…and nothing like food. The last time I said that here, I received the following from a gentleman who works in this industry but who asked that I mention neither his name or his employer…

The reason for the decline in fast food quality is very simple. Management, and this seems to go for every chain these days, is obsessed with keeping labor costs at an absolute minimum. There are whole departments that study employment laws and minimum wage laws and figure out loopholes and tricks to pay as little as possible. This has forced the food preparation division to continually figure ways to make the process so idiot-proof that absolutely anyone with a pulse can be hired at 1 PM and be making your burgers or chicken by 1:30. There is no learning curve because there's not enough to learn.

Most of the training they receive in fact is not even about food prep but about procedures and decorum. For food prep, they're taught to take this and put it there and push this button. More and more of it comes to the outlet precooked or partially cooked. In the glory days of Kentucky Fried Chicken you write about, there had to be at least one employee of the store who learned how to cook the chicken and make some judgment calls about when something was done or done properly. Unfortunately, that person might ask for more money or for days off so they had to change the process to eliminate him or her.

The secret of great food in a great restaurant is a great chef. The secret of profitable food in a fast food joint is no chef.

I suspect that's some of the problem right there…but I also think my tastes are changing, especially since I cut my sugar consumption back to a trickle.

Lastly I should add that there's one other fast food chain that I kinda like — Chick-Fil-A. Unfortunately, the more I hear about the owners' anti-gay sentiments, the more I think I'd feel bad about giving them my patronage. I like their sandwiches but not that much…