My pal Jerry Beck, whose animation website you should visit every day, writes…
I agreed with every word of your most recent cole slaw post — but only if you changed the words "Cole slaw" to "Mayonnaise." I have nothing against cole slaw. I don't eat it but I'm not against it. It's mayo that I've had the same problems with. And yes, I am allergic to mayo.
When I first got to L.A. in the 1980's every burger or sandwich I ordered anywhere was slathered with the white stuff. When I ordered my burger without mayo, it arrived 9 times out 10 with it.
One time I asked the waiter about the mayo on my burger. He said it wasn't mayo, it was a "spread." So after that it was "no mayo or spreads."
Next time, a few weeks later, I ordered my burger with no mayo or spreads, it came back with something on the bun. I again asked the waiter and he said it wasn't mayo or a "spread" — it was a "dressing."
So now I order my sandwiches with "no mayo, dressings, spreads or anything you can put on the burger or bun." The waiters or waitresses usually respond, "Oh, you want it "dry." Yes. That's exactly what I want!
I don't share your aversion to mayonnaise but I prefer it in salads like tuna or potato. I don't want it slathered on anything. I also don't want cheese on my burger, lettuce and tomato on my burger, spreads or dressing on my burger, chili, guacamole or cole slaw on my burger, etc. I've learned the best way to get what I want is to order "I'd like a hamburger, medium rare. And what I'd like is meat, bun, onions and nothing else on the plate except the french fries [or potato salad or chips or whatever the side dish is]."
I add my own ketchup when it gets to me because if the chef adds it, I get too much or too little. Since I learned to do all this, I almost always get what I want. And when I don't, they realize it's their fault and hurry to correct it.
Oddly enough, I've observed that servers appreciate that kind of specificity. They get so many customers who are vague or don't specify and then complain at what they find on their plate. A few weeks ago, I was with someone at a restaurant who ordered the fish sandwich and was upset with the server when it came with tartar sauce on it. Yeah, well, but the menu said "tartar sauce." The restaurant had to remake the sandwich so they lost some money on that meal.
Some restaurants are now experimenting with giving diners a tablet computer — an iPad or its equivalent and you place your own order on its screen. They're saying they will not be reducing the number of employees if this catches on but I can't believe that. And I sure wouldn't like not having a server who's easy to flag down and who's responsible for answering my questions and seeing that I get what I want.
But that aside, I can see some good in these tablets if they work like this: I click on "wor won ton soup" and I get a list of all the mandatory ingredients and all the optional ones. In most restaurants, you can omit some things you don't want in a menu item and some things that are already mixed-in and inseparable. It would be great for someone like me with food allergies to know exactly what I'm getting and whether I have to specify "no almonds" — or not order the beef stew at all because it's only available with broccoli already in it.
I hope the tablets will not just give us all the same information we already get on the menu. I've been on some online ordering sites for delivery or take-outs that are like that. I find myself with all sorts of questions and no one to answer them. Either way, I'm going to need a server just as much as I ever do. I'd trust ordering from a person more than I'd trust that I clicked in the right place on the tablet. One wrong click and I could get something with live maggots on it. Or worse, cole slaw.