The last time Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark postponed its opening night, we predicted that critics would decide the grace/preview period was over and would begin reviewing it. The New York Times has turned its Ben Brantley loose on it and since the Times is the giant ape of Broadway reviewing, everyone else will probably dive into the game now.
Did Mr. Brantley like it? No, Mr. Brantley did not like it. He said, "Spider-Man is not only the most expensive musical ever to hit Broadway; it may also rank among the worst." Acknowledging that work is still being done on the show, he wrote, "…from what I saw on Saturday night, Spider-Man is so grievously broken in every respect that it is beyond repair. Fans of Ms. Taymor's work on the long-running musical The Lion King, adapted from the animated Walt Disney feature, will have to squint charitably to see evidence of her talent."
This is what is commonly known in the trade as a Bad Review.
Once upon a time if you were a Broadway producer and the Times said something of the sort about your show, you didn't bother even waiting to see what the other critics said. You posted the closing notice, burned the sets and looked for work in the increasingly-rewarding field of Motel Management. These days, the power of the Times has diminished. It didn't like The Addams Family and that show's still running. Then again, The Addams Family didn't get a review this bad and it has two big stars.
I suspect bad notices won't kill Spider-Man. Word of mouth will, along with its killer operating costs. (Addams Family can also apparently show a profit at 65% capacity and with half-price tickets sold at TKTS.) Spider-Man has been playing to packed houses, in part because of the curiosity factor and the enormous publicity. That might keep it open for a few more months, especially given its advance sale. But if this thing's going to run for many years, it has to have something going for it beyond the desire to see what $65 million can buy and the suspense of wondering if all the actors will be ambulatory for their curtain calls. For that to happen, someone has to like it besides Glenn Beck.
I have not seen the show and at this rate, I may not. I have received e-mails from around twenty friends who've attended and they make Brantley's pan look kind by comparison. They all mentioned a moment here or there wherein the production was what you want it to be like throughout…but all found the experience akin to watching the opening number of Springtime for Hitler on opening night but without the funny stuff that followed.
Rumor has it that the producers of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark are not looking to pursue other theatrical productions in other towns; that life after New York, if there is one, will more likely be in the form of a touring arena show, not unlike Cirque du Soleil. One person told me that that's what the instigators of this venture had in mind all along and that someone got caught up with the idea of starting it off with a Tony-winning Broadway smash. I have no idea if the touring show idea could work but what they're doing now sure doesn't seem promising, does it?