Losing It in a Big Way

As some of you may know, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery in May of '06 and lost, depending on how one scores, between 100 and 135 pounds. I have not for one second regretted having the operation. All sorts of complications and problems are possible with this kind of surgery…with any kind of surgery, actually. I have experienced none of them. One of my many doctors said he'd never seen a better experience than I had.

So…to what do I attribute this? Two things. One is that my physician steered me to a surgeon who apparently was (and I guess still is) among the best in the business. Said my doc, "There are many people out there now performing this procedure, since it's becoming quite a fad. An awful lot of them shouldn't be doing it." The one he recommended was very good and very thorough. Before a surgeon can commence bypassing your gastric, you have to have a lot of tests and examinations, and this surgeon required more than most. Due to quirks of my health insurance, I think I spent more money qualifying for the surgery than I did for the surgery.

I was examined inside and outside, backwards and forwards, upside-down and rightside-up. It was even required that I undergo a psychiatric evaluation — the first time I've ever gone near a "shrink" in a professional context. I went to his office, sat down and he asked me if I'd ever thought of killing myself. I said, "Not for one second," and he said "Fine," and I'd passed. We spent the next half hour or so talking about cartoons and then I left and he sent me a bill that made me think of killing myself.

I also had heart tests and gastroenterology probes and stress tests and just about every kind of exam my wallet and I could possibly have endured…and it turned out that, weight aside, I was in excellent health. Which was the other reason I had such an easy time of the surgery. (One nice benefit from all those tests: I visited perhaps fifteen different doctors to get them. Every one asked, "Who's operating on you?" and when I told them, every one said, "Oh, he's the best." I'm not sure why I had absolutely no fear of the operation but those reactions might have had a little something to do with it.)

Since the surgery, I've had a lot of people — friends and total strangers — ask me if I recommend it. Answer: No. I recommend researching it and considering it…but it seems obvious to me that it's possible to do a lot of damage to one's self, especially if one does not have the right surgeon and the right physical situation. I've met or heard from a few folks whose experiences prove this. What worked for me with one surgeon might not work for you with another or even the same one.

I think about this often lately because Los Angeles is being blanketed with billboards touting the lap-band surgical procedure, which is a less extreme version of what I had. The signs are everywhere…often near businesses, the continued patronage of which might cause you to become one of those folks who needs to lose 100+ pounds. Here's an example…

lapbandbillboard

I have no idea how expert the company that put up those ads is at what they offer. They could be fabulous for all I know. But the signs strike me as wrong for this reason. If you do decide to have a procedure like this done, you should do it via a diagnosis and referral from a doctor you trust, not because you spotted an "800" number on your way home from KFC. George Carlin used to say, "Somewhere, there's a worst doctor in the world…and someone has an appointment with him tomorrow." George may even have been going to him, for all we know.

Well, somewhere there's a worst licensed Gastric Bypass Surgeon…and there's not a thing stopping him from getting an "800" number and buying billboards and ads. There are also people who because of their anatomy and its problems, are just not good candidates for this surgery…but there's someone who, for the fee, will attempt it.

I've not blogged a lot about my surgery because it's been so uneventful and also because I don't want to encourage anyone. It's your body and your decision and what was right for me may be wrong for you. I've done plenty of things in my life you shouldn't do. More than you can possibly imagine.