Back in this posting, I talked about how my Aunt Dot used to go to the market and, as she shopped, nibble on items for which she had yet to pay. I asked how customary or acceptable this was and I got a lot of responses. Here are a number of them, starting with this from Alex Stroup…
I don't know if it is a new thing, though I knew several kids in college who would regularly do the thing of eating something and then hiding the packaging in the store and never paying for it. Not surprisingly, one of them was the same guy we discovered would generate an excuse to go back into the restaurant after a group dinner so he could steal the tip.
When I was a kid it was pretty standard to go ahead and open something while shopping (usually something to drink, but sometimes food) and then pay for it on the way out. That said, our grocery stores were independently owned neighborhood stores (though still the size of a smaller Safeway, we're not talking corner convenience stores) where the staff pretty much knew everybody who shopped there regularly. Maybe it is a habit that doesn't survive the transition to mega-corporate grocery stores very well.
Though a couple months ago, I was shopping (in Safeway) and was just suddenly overwhelmed with extreme thirst and so for the first time since I was a kid opened something – a bottle of water – and drank it on the spot paying for it on my way out. I felt like quite the rebel.
This one is from Keith Enright…
Just read your article about eating while shopping and I agree that it's always made me uncomfortable to see people doing that. However, here in the Twin Cities, there is a grocery chain (Rainbow Foods) where the carts actually have drink holders right in front of the push handle and they have signs encouraging you to enjoy a beverage while you shop and pay for it when you are at the registers. I've done it many times there, but still nowhere else!
Nathan Phillips sent this…
I am an ex-grocery store employee (surely one of many you've heard from by now) and the behavior you mentioned recently is very common among (frankly) the less enjoyable and polite customers, especially with beverages and fresh items like pastries. I worked in the deli and regularly saw folks downing sodas and such. Nearly all of them would hand the empty can (or what have you) to the cashier and pay for it at the end of their session, but once in a while our security person would catch a sly character consuming a donut or something and the customer would be confronted at the line and politely told something like "My dear sir/madam, you've forgotten to pay for your donut/muffin/cupcake/cookie, I'm sure it was an honest mistake" and the embarrassed shopper, not having known Big Brother was watching, would of course pay up, the wrapper invariably having mysteriously appeared in the patron's coat pocket or a nearby wastebasket.
The worst incident I ever saw of this sort, and the reason I now write to you, involved a loudmouthed middle-aged woman who liked to barrel around the store noisily munching on chips. One particular evening she spied some crab dip in the seafood department and snatched it up to supplement her usual on-the-go meal. One bite later, she appeared in front of the deli counter with a disgusted look on her face and practically threw the open tub of dip at me, a sizable chunk missing off the top. "I don't like this," she snarled matter-of-factly, "so I'm not going to pay for it." I just stood there kind of dumbfounded and she must have noticed I was a bit put off by her behavior because she felt the need to add "It's terrible, honey, honestly" before disappearing down another aisle.
My mother most definitely never taught manners of that kind, and I'm sure your Aunt Dot didn't either.
No, she sure didn't. This next one is from a reader who asked to remain anonymous…
We have a lot of problems with that in the store I work in. There are people who eat things while they're in the store and then don't pay for them. The ones who do what your aunt did make it harder for us to police the situation and identify the ones who don't pay.
There are also people who open a bag of crackers, eat a few and then decide they don't like them and they ditch the bag somewhere in the store. Of course, we have to throw it away then. Then there are the people who put a bunch of grapes in their cart and snack on them as they shop. By the time they get to the checkout counter and we weigh the grapes, they're a lot cheaper. A lot of people do this and don't realize what they're doing.
The other problem that is related happens at least once a day. Someone walks around the store drinking a Coke or a Pepsi or a bottle of water and then when they get to the checkout, they say "Don't charge me for this. I bought it next door and brought it in with me." We have to go along with that but how are we supposed to know? People do this a lot and it just puts us in an awkward position.
And here's another message from someone who shall go nameless. He brings up another aspect of this…
You make good points about the subject of noshing on food while shopping. I used to never do it, and all throughout my life, I would see opened packages of food tucked into the backs of shelves, obviously from those who wanted to eat something without paying for it.
One day I went into my Walmart Supercenter, and I was starving. One of those weird days where a fat man forgot to eat all day, and his energy plummeted suddenly 15 minutes after the grocery cart started to be filled. I knew something sweet would give me a temporary boost, but I didn't want to grab a single candy bar and open that. First off, the single candy bars were way upfront at the checkout counters, and I was trying not to make it look like I was trying to steal something. I grabbed a package of 6 packaged Little Debbie treats, and took small bites until my burgeoning headache and dizziness subsided.
The concerned young lady who asked your Aunt Dot not to munch on anything was at the very least concerned about the perception of things. I try to be aware of these things, too. I've had a terribly embarrassing experience where someone thought I was stealing something from their store. Beware being a heavy man pulling up your pants in a store, because someone who sees you at the wrong angle might believe you're stuffing something into those pants to avoid the checkout register. How fun, explaining that you didn't shoplift, you were just adjusting yourself.
I wish I were as 'black and white' about this subject. I'd rather never do it, and I mostly don't. But depending on the store I'm in, I'll break out into a heavy sweat. When that happens, I usually get a package of picnic napkins and use them to dry myself, so as not to look like I'm dying. I just make sure I do everything right out in the open, not hiding anything. When I get to the checkout counter, I tell the checker that I opened this package or that, and I tell them why.
My standard is not to do this thing in stores, unless it's necessary. I've seen people be brazen enough to grab a handful of grapes and eat them as they shop, and that's obviously stealing. There's no way to accurately tell how many grapes were taken, so the store's poop-out-of-luck.
I probably shouldn't be doing it this way, but I don't see myself changing.
I received about thirty other e-mails with no clear consensus. Store employees said it caused them problems but that in some stores, it was tolerated and perhaps even encouraged. And I guess that kinda answers my question. There's no universal custom or policy. Even knowing that, I'm still uncomfortable doing it.