I had a scare Saturday evening. I was in my favorite CVS Pharmacy and I thought I oughta pick up a few more Reach Access Flossers. I only have about two dozen in my home and you can never have enough Reach Access Flossers around. It is, as we noted here, The Greatest Scientific Breakthrough Of Our Time.
That's a fact. Don't tell me that honor belongs to the Internal Combustion Engine. First of all, that's not our time. Secondly, even if it was, it doesn't hold a candle to the Reach Access Flosser. Let's say you're eating ribs and you get a piece of rib wedged between your two back molars. You think an Internal Combustion Engine will get it out for you? Not bloodly likely.
Anyway, I went to pick up a few more and couldn't find them. Up and down the oral care aisle I went, finding brushes and Water-Piks and toothpaste and tongue scrapers. How, I asked aloud, could they possibly have tongue scrapers and not Reach Access Flossers? Finding none, I body-slammed a passing CVS employee and asked if perhaps they'd moved their Reach Access Flossers to a special Reach Access Flosser section of the store. To my horror, he said, "I don't think they make them anymore!"
Chilled to the marrow, I raced home to my beloved Internet. The Johnson & Johnson Company just couldn't have stopped making them, I knew…but if they had, I was prepared to surf the 'net all night and buy up every last Reach Access Flosser I could find anywhere. I'd even take (and sterilize) used ones if I had to. What I found though was that my favorite Scientific Breakthrough is still manufactured. For some reason though, the CVS chain no longer carries them.
This scares me a bit. There are 7000 CVS Pharmacies in this country and at this moment, they're building 7000 more…and then 7000 more. They won't stop until there's one on every block, plus I think they're starting to open them inside Walgreen's outlets and Duane Reade stores. It can't be good for the sales and therefore the ongoing existence of Reach Access Flossers that CVS no longer stocks them. But for the moment, I think I'm safe.
In the meantime: I am happy to report that once again, March will be Creamy Tomato Soup month at your local Souplantation or Sweet Tomatoes restaurant. This is my favorite soup and so you know where I'll be eating that month. And then after I've downed a few bowls of Creamy Tomato Soup, I will floss thoroughly with my Reach Access Flosser. It takes so little to please me.