So just when my pal Ken Levine and I are making lunch plans, he starts blogging about his favorite hamburgers…and two of his favorites (Five Guys and Cassell's) turn out to be two of my favorites. Matter of fact, I agree with all his evaluations except…
What he says about the Apple Pan in L.A. serving a wonderful burger was true, say, twenty years ago but it wasn't quite as true my last few visits there. Not that it isn't still a place worth visiting. I suspect the folks who started the Johnny Rocket's chain went there many times to figure out how to configure their restaurants…which, by the way, are also pretty good.
I've passed on Umami Burger and Father's Office. Father's Office has this policy (a gimmick, it sounds like) that they will allow no substitutions or alterations in how they serve their burgers. You have it their way. I have oodles of food allergies and I believe every one of their hamburgers as served contains something that could kill me dead on the spot. Friends have told me the servers get real snotty with you if you even mention changing anything…so I'm not particularly eager to see if they'd make an exception for me. Every Umami Burger listed on that establishment's menu is the same way. The ingredients list on each reads to me like it says "grilled onions, gruyere cheese and cyanide." I'm told they will consider alterations but not without a lot of attitude.
There's a great way to deal with the problem Ken notes of the lethal chili on a Tommy's Burger. You have them leave the chili off. It's a much better burger without it. This is also true at Carney's and also probably at every other place in the world.
The best burger Ken says he ever had in New York was in the Parker-Meridian hotel. I've never been there but the best burger I ever had in New York (Brooklyn, to be completely accurate) was at Peter Luger's Steak House. Served only on their lunch menu and well worth the shlep.
those aren't the current prices.
Lastly, I'll second what Ken says about Cassell's down in Koreatown — and it too is only available for lunch as Cassell's closes at 4 PM each day. Something I learned during my few years of investment in a restaurant — a famous hamburger place not as good as the places Ken and I both now like, I sheepishly admit — was about one key element. The superior places aren't superior just because of the meat they buy or how they prepare it or what they put on it, though all of that is essential.
The thing that kicks a good place up into the strata of all-time faves is that one person on the premises who scurries around making sure everything is right. It's the guy who grabs up the phone at least three times a week, calls a supplier and yells, "Murray, what the hell are you doing to me with these crappy potatoes your guy delivered?" If he's really good, he builds up a relationship with Murray of trust or fear or both such that Murray doesn't dare send him the crappy potatoes in the first place.
The old Cassell's, back before Mr. Cassell sold it off to a Korean family then died, was the kind of restaurant you'd drag friends to. It was visually unimpressive and inconveniently located with no place to park, plus you usually had to wait in a line that snaked outside to the curb. The rest of your party would look at you like, "Why did you bring me here?" But it was worth it because they'd taste their hamburgers, "get it" and respect the heck outta you for knowing about such a great place. And of course they'd be pondering, "Hmm…who can I bring here?"
The current Cassell's still serves a great burger — one I like with a minimum of toppings. But it's not special the way it used to be and really all that's changed is that they don't have that guy. They don't have Alvin Cassell running around, personally tasting the lemonade, making sure his customers were all happy and then phoning Murray to holler about substandard spuds. And in restaurants — in anything in life, really — you need to have that guy around.