Did you know the Nestlés's people no longer make Quik? Jesus H. Christ. I stop buying a product and ten years later, they change it. They stick a cartoon rabbit on the can and rename it, "Nesquik." Who the hell wants to put something in their milk called "Nesquik?" With a rabbit on the can, no less. Quik was introduced in 1948, four years before I was. As soon as I was old enough to lift a utensil, my mother taught me how to shovel two heaping teaspoonfuls of the stuff into my milk and stir it until either it dissolved or my damn arm fell off, whichever occurred first. Usually, it was the arm because the mystic potion seemed to be made of plastic shavings and even when it did dissolve, it only made the milk taste a teensy bit like chocolate.
That is, unless you did what my friend Mike Hockee did, which was to dump in as much of the can as would fit in the glass, then chug-a-lug the rest of the Quik powder directly. Oh sure, I could have done chocolated my milk the easy way, the sissy way, with Bosco chocolate flavored syrup. But real men drank Quik — or at least, real men who weren't lactose intolerant. I'm not but somewhere around half-past puberty, I began to realize that the less dairy I had in my diet, the better I felt. So I gave up on milk (and therefore, Quik) and look what they've done as a result! In '98, they changed it to Nesquik, which isn't the same. It horrifies me that kids are now drinking the stuff and, worse, that somewhere there's probably some kid pouring it on a bowl of Trix cereal. That's a frightening combination of sugar, artificial coloring and cartoon rabbits on the package.