What Fitzgerald Has Been Doing

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has set up his own website…but there are still no indictments. Come on, Pat. Indict someone…anyone. Indict the guy in the suit covered in question marks in those commercials. Nobody likes him. Indict Martha Stewart again. That was very popular. Indict the Los Angeles Dodgers for impersonating a baseball team.

If you're not ready yet to indict a person, how about a house pet? Maybe a nice indicted hamster or parrot? You could indict the parrot for refusing to talk.

How about a ham sandwich? Prosecutors are always supposed to be able to indict them. (It apparently has something to do with the disproportionate number of lawyers who are Jewish.)

Come on, already. You can do it. We're counting on you.