Crystal Clear

Actor Bruno Kirby died on August 14 from leukemia. I didn't post anything about him at the time because I never met Mr. Kirby and had nothing to add to all the obits and words of regret. Unfortunately, I do now.

Ricocheting around the farthest crannies of the Internet at the moment is a "controversy" that strikes me as being based on absolutely nothing. People who never met Bruno Kirby or his occasional co-star Billy Crystal have taken an unsourced rumor that they had some sort of falling-out and have added a lot of speculation and a great many leaps of logic. The end-product is a theory that Crystal, apparently out of some sort of anger, "destroyed" Bruno Kirby's career. Even if the two men did have some sort of quarrel, that does not lead to the conclusion in articles like this one. (Note if you will that its source is a weblog by someone who has had no contact with Crystal and no inside info, and admits to an "animus" towards him.)

I would first argue with the premise that Bruno Kirby's career was destroyed. You can look over his Internet Movie Database listing and see that he worked at pretty much the same volume from when he broke into the field in 1971 until his death this year. He was in hits now and then, flops now and then. It looks like a pretty typical career arc to me. One successful film does not automatically earn you another, especially when you're working in supporting roles, playing the best friend. Sometimes, a good showcase role will get you offers, sometimes it doesn't. Even when it does, the offers may be for films that don't get made or released or which turn out so poorly that they're regarded as embarrassing credits.

There's always an enormous crapshoot involved and sometimes, it doesn't go the way you want, or the way you'd wish the system would work. One of the people arguing that Crystal sabotaged Kirby's career noted that "Kirby also won acclaim on Broadway, replacing Kevin Spacey as the male lead…in Neil Simon's memory play, Lost in Yonkers, which had won four Tony awards. At that point, Kirby's career was on a trajectory that was leading inexorably to Oscar nominations, and perhaps even a golden statuette."

That's a completely illogical conclusion. First off, even starring Broadway roles often do not lead to anything beyond Broadway…and rarely does a replacement get any notice at all. (I'm not sure why the guy mentioned the show's four Tony awards since they were won long before Kirby was even in the show. By the way, more than a dozen other actors were replacements in that show over its Broadway run and none of them got important movie offers as a result. Lucie Arnaz, who was one of them, won even more acclaim than Kirby. See any good Lucie Arnaz movies lately?) In any case, no one's career leads "inexorably" to Oscar nominations. Which is why the vast majority of talented, working actors go their entire careers without getting one.

For the sake of argument, let's assume Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby had some huge fight…and let's really stretch logic and say Crystal had some reason then to want to nuke Kirby's career. Yeah, I know. It doesn't make sense. Crystal's a huge star whose every live appearance sells out and who's begged each year to host the Oscars. In no way is he ever in competition with Bruno Kirby but just play along. Let's pretend Billy decides that Bruno Kirby's career must be terminated.

What could he possibly do? I mean, how might that be accomplished?

A successful career is based on a lot of different producers and directors wanting to hire you. You need a lot because there are always some who don't like you. Perhaps Billy Crystal blocked Bruno Kirby being cast in City Slickers II and subsequent Billy Crystal movies. It was probably within his power to do so…but how could he stop Spielberg from hiring Bruno Kirby? How could he stop Cameron or Howard or…well, name the top fifty directors in the business these days. If one of them decided Bruno Kirby was the best actor for a given role, would that director say, "Let's go with our second choice. I want to help Billy Crystal destroy Bruno's career."?

What I'm closing in on here is that it's an enormous slam to the memory of Bruno Kirby to suggest that his entire career hinged on getting cast again as Billy Crystal's buddy. Never mind the insult to Crystal, suggesting he'd be that vindictive. It's just plain insulting to the deceased.

And it's all based on speculation about some things we know nothing about. Maybe Kirby wasn't in City Slickers II because the writers, producers and/or director didn't want him or his character back. Maybe he had a schedule conflict or he held out for an outrageous sum of money. Who knows? Certainly not the folks spreading the Crystal Conspiracy Theory.

Bruno Kirby was a good actor. He was in some good movies…in roles which, somehow, did not lead "inexorably" to Oscars. He was in some bad ones. I doubt anyone thinks he saved the good ones or ruined the bad ones, but he certainly was good on the screen in most of them. Let's bury this rumor and instead put the blame for his career ending on what was really responsible: leukemia. That's a real and effective career-ender…and unfortunately, it makes even less sense than show business.