I'm Back…

…but then you probably never knew I was gone. My friend Carolyn and I spent the last week in Washington, D.C. and Virginia. Two days in our nation's capital isn't much…though I think it's twice as long as John McCain was there in the month of May. I told people I was going there to impeach Alberto Gonzales because, well, someone has to. Alas, I never saw him or anyone else worth impeaching…although the Night Manager at the hotel in Virginia came close.

Carolyn wanted a couple of luggage racks for our room — you know, the kind you unfold and put your suitcase on. The Night Manager was shocked that we didn't have them and swore he'd find a couple and send them up. He didn't. We kept asking about them. He kept saying he'd get right on the matter. Finally, after the fourth or fifth time we asked, he sent someone to go to vacant rooms, grab up two luggage racks and take them to us. This person reported back to him that the other rooms didn't have luggage racks, either. It turns out this hotel doesn't have luggage racks in its rooms.

The Night Manager phoned to tell me this, voluntarily adding, "Boy, you learn something new every day. I've worked here two years and I never knew we don't have luggage racks. I've never gotten around to going in any of the rooms."

Go ahead. Tell me that isn't an impeachable offense.

Getting back to D.C.: If you think this website spends too much time canonizing dead people, you should see Washington. You can't take two steps without running in to a memorial to someone…especially war dead. There was something odd and sad about how much of the town is about soldiers who've died in the service of their country.

We took a bus tour and learned nothing about the inner workings of our government but the various tour guides (they swapped off) kept telling us over and over how John Adams used to go skinny-dipping in the Potomac in its less polluted days. One of the guides rattled off a list of semi-interesting nuggets of trivia but every other sentence he uttered was, "And that's just a little historic fact you can take back home with you." And about every twelfth historic fact he divulged was that John Adams liked to go skinny-dipping in the Potomac. I think that gives us all a better appreciation of our heritage.

I'm tired and there's unpacking to do so I'm going to knock off here, go to sleep and write more in the morning. In fact, I may serialize my report. Forgive any typos. Mark is weary.