Complaint Department

A while ago on this site, I put up a section called "Great Los Angeles Restaurants That Ain't There No More" and I've occasionally added to it since then. (If you haven't read it for a while, there are probably a few entries — not necessarily at the end — that you haven't seen.) I thought the premise of this section was pretty clear. It's personal recollections of restaurants in the greater Los Angeles area that I went to, one or more times, and which are no longer in business. And I guess I thought it was also implied that these were restaurants about which I thought I had something interesting to say. I know I did mention that the section would be expanded in the future…and I continue to add to it.

I also continue to marvel at the people who don't get this basic concept. In the last two months, two major websites that focus on Los Angeles have linked to that feature, prompting thousands more hits than usual and lots of very nice e-mails from folks who fondly remember this or that place to dine. I also, however, received a number of messages that really baffled me because, like I just said, I thought the premise was pretty simple.

I received one rather insulting message from a fellow who was upset because I didn't include his favorite old restaurant, which was a place called Brewster's in Michigan. Why didn't I include Brewster's?, he demanded to know. Well, maybe because it was in Michigan and this is a section about restaurants in Los Angeles. Also, of course, I never went to or even heard of Brewster's.

I've received any number of messages — well over two dozen — from folks who write to me about great defunct L.A. restaurants that I seem to have omitted from my list. Most are friendly and polite but a few write as if I have committed a horrendous factual error and shame on me. Why didn't I include their favorite old restaurant?, they demand to know. Well, in a few cases, it's because I haven't gotten around to it yet…but in most, it's because I never went to their favorite old restaurant, have nothing to say about it and perhaps never even heard of it.

This morning, I received a message from a man who I hope was kidding with how outraged he was. I mean, I don't know the guy but you hope there aren't total strangers who could get this incensed over something so wrongheaded. He's upset because he operates a very popular, successful restaurant in Los Angeles and I didn't include it on my list. Why didn't I include his restaurant?, he demands to know. Well, maybe it's because it's still there. It's not out of business! I've also never been there and have barely heard of it so I have no reason to declare it "Great"…but the main point is that it's still open and operating. It doesn't belong in a collection of essays called "Great Los Angeles Restaurants That Ain't There No More." Maybe he'd have a point if I'd called the department "Every Single Restaurant That Ever Existed in Los Angeles That Anyone Liked."

I guess I shouldn't be stunned by these messages. Whenever I post anything even vaguely political, I get at least one e-mail to which the appropriate response, were I of a mind to respond, would be, "Please read what I wrote with your eyes open." The Internet is wonderful because it makes it so simple for us to all communicate with each other but of course, there's a downside to this. It's that it makes it too simple for us to communicate without enough thought and consideration.

Someone ought to invent a piece of e-mail software that would work as follows: You compose a message and hit "send" but it doesn't send it. It holds the message in a little storage area for twelve hours and then it shows it to you again and asks, "Do you really want to send this?" The software could even scan the message for certain key angry words and if you include enough of them, it would ask you two or three times, the last of which would say, "Are you sure we can't talk you out of sending this?" Or if you tend to drink at night while surfing the web, you could set the program to stop you from sending anything after 9 PM. It wouldn't actually dispatch the message until the next morning after you'd passed a little online sobriety test.

I'll be updating the L.A. Restaurants section in a few weeks with three or four more old extinct Southern California eating establishments. If your favorite isn't there, relax. Maybe I never went there. Or maybe it's still in business or it was in Michigan.