The Kitten Problem – The Latest

Obviously, I have lost track of how many parts this is running.

Still out there. Still mocking me. Last night, we danced around for a couple hours. I was working on a deadline and every time I finished two pages, I'd go down and there'd be The Kitten, hanging out on the back porch, crying and wondering where the usual food was and going everywhere on my property except into the trap.

(Memo to The Kitten: The usual food is there, you pussy. It's in the trap. You have to go in there to get it. Do you understand the concept? Get into the trap!)

More than a hundred of you have sent in suggestions and I'd send you all thank you notes but I'm too busy trying to get The Kitten into the trap. I'm doing everything I can imagine working, as well as a few things I can't imagine will work but they're the kind of things you do when you're desperate. No, I have not tried sedating her yet. Apart from the fact that I don't know what you use for that or where to get it, that just feels so wrong to me. I know the vets will dope her up but they know what they're doing and I'm determined to do this drug-free.

My big problem is that I can't just set the trap and leave it. There are too many other cats (and at night, possums and raccoons) who will get snared. I'm not sure the trap will even spring if The Kitten does wander in and I'm not there to spring it. Twice, she went in, dined and strolled out without triggering the door mechanism.

I'm going to keep at this on the assumption that eventually, she will be hungry enough to get reckless and go in. Or maybe she'll just get cocky and go into the trap just to taunt me, knowing full well she can get out.

By the way: You may recall that I "rented" this trap on Saturday for ten bucks a day, and the idea is that if you don't return it in a week, they charge the cost of buying the trap to your credit card. I think I'm buying this trap. I just wish it worked.