I don't care that Miss California had breast implants or that she posed for racy photos. I also don't care what she thinks about Gay Marriage. I don't know why anyone cares about anything besides how she looks in the bikini and even that's no big deal these days.
I thought we were coming around to the idea that beauty pageants were about beauty…and nothing else. Once upon a time, there were people in this country who pretended that to become Miss Wherever was to be a role model for young women everywhere. In truth, it was all just an exercise in creating a celebrity who could open boat shows for a year and make money for the pageant operators.
But of course, it would be shallow and undignified to admit that the contest is just about lovely young ladies in minimal attire…and if she's going to be cutting the ribbons at gas station openings, it would be nice if she could talk a little. Also, you can't fill a two-hour TV telecast with just swimsuit walkthroughs — so they stuck in talent competitions and the embarrassing little "question" segments where the competitors have 45 seconds to tell us how they'd achieve world peace. And not only do I not care about all this, no one cares about beauty pageants anymore. Miss America pageants used to be prime time major TV events and now they're on low-audience cable channels between reruns of The Jeffersons and infomercials for Kevin Trudeau's latest health scam. The Miss U.S.A. contest, which is where Miss California shot off about same-sex marriages is even less-watched.
Carrie Prejean may be a right-wing bigot but give the lady credit. She found a way to get a little fame and maybe some fortune out of a largely-ignored beauty pageant that she didn't even win. If she hadn't said what she did, all she'd have to show for the experience was the sash, a supply of Revlon products and some lovely parting gifts. Now, she has a chance to get some speaking engagements from right-wing groups and to be a martyr for their cause if, as seems likely, she's stripped of her title on Monday. There may be a book deal there or a job on Fox News. Whatever it is, it's more celebrity than any beauty contest winner has seen since…well, since Vanessa Williams lost her crown due to naughty photos.
Lesson to be learned? The only way to get anything out of being Miss Anything is to have a scandal. If all the contestants figured that out, those pageants might be worth watching.