America's Most Wanted Cartoon Character

magoobandit

Authorities are searching for a man who has been dubbed "The Mr. Magoo Bandit," saying that he has committed at least nine and possibly as many as twelve daylight bank robberies in California. He got his colorful nickname because of his resemblance to the famous cartoon character. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation…

The "Mr. Magoo Bandit" is described by witnesses as a white male in his 40s, weighing about 200 lbs, with a medium build. He has short, dirty blond hair and wears prescription glasses.

As a longtime fan of Mr. Magoo and a person who was once hired to write an animated Mr. Magoo feature that was never made (a remake/parody of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you can believe such a thing), I would like to suggest a reason that the FBI has been so far unable to apprehend this criminal. It's because of the nickname.

The animated Mr. Magoo is not in his 40s, probably would not weigh anywhere near 200 lbs., does not have a medium build, does not have dirty blond hair (or any hair at all) and the whole premise of the cartoon is that he won't wear prescription glasses.

Other than all that, the resemblance is uncanny.

If any FBI agents are reading this site — and I find it hard to believe they don't, constantly — I'd like to suggest that you guys might do better if you started referring to your man as "The Old Drew Carey Bandit." True, you might wind up arresting Glenn Beck but that would also be a public service.