Monthly Archives: February 2010

Here, pointed out to me by Jeff Abraham, is a recent interview with Mel Brooks. Nothing he says is particularly new but it's a good example of how the myth spreads that Larry Gelbart wrote for Your Show of Shows and Woody Allen wrote for Caesar's Hour. I don't think Mel was trying to answer the question in a factual, precise manner but someone might certainly take it that way.

A follow-up on my post yesterday about tickets to TV shows. First of all, yes, I know I typed Late Night with David Letterman when his CBS show is called Late Show with David Letterman. I have corrected this. In my defense, let me point out this is a pretty common mistake…and hey, week before last, Dave accidentally closed his show by telling everyone to stay tuned for Craig Kilborn.

As several correspondents noted, the services offering tickets to see your favorite TV show may not actually have tickets to that show. There are shows out there that have no trouble filling the house with folks who apply the old-fashioned way. One person who's an Associate Producer on a popular situation comedy wrote me…

Usually, we can distribute all our tickets via requests from people who write in or use a link on the network's website. We actually fill about a third of our seats with requests from friends who work on the show or who know someone at the studio or network. Each taping, we turn away at least 20 people who show up with tickets because we fill the place. However, we do have a relationship with an audience wrangler. Every so often, there's an inexplicable hole. I think it only happened once last season but we had to call the wrangler and say "Get us 30 people for this Friday!"

We've also had weeks when the audience seemed very old and unenthusiastic. We didn't do it but the producers did discuss calling the wrangler and telling him to get 20-30 young, hopped-up kids for the front rows. There are also weeks when it looks like it's going to rain hard on tape day and we consider calling the wrangler and having them get us another 20 or 30 people, just in case. We don't technically need the wrangler but it's good to have that available to us.

A couple of folks wrote me to say that the Enquirer recently claimed that the producers of Craig Ferguson's show sometimes spend $40 (not $25) per audience member. It's not clear how much of their audience doesn't just write in and get tickets without costing the show anything. It's also not clear how often all or some of that money goes to the people in the seats. Whatever is paid might just be pocketed by the service that gets the people there. One person wrote me that a club to which they belong attended a Ferguson taping as a charity effort. That is, X number of them went to the show and then there was a donation of a certain sum of money for that.

One other point about paid audiences. Some TV tapings can run a long time or get very boring with delays. Some producers like having paid audiences there because paid audiences are less likely to walk out. In my day, I did some variety shows that had long, long tapings…to the point where we occasionally had to book two audiences for one evening of taping — a 6 PM audience and a 9 PM audience — and it wasn't a matter of doing the same material for each. That Deal or No Deal taping my friend Len and I attended in '06 ran more than five hours. People did leave before it was over and many who stayed only stayed because prizes were being given out. I suspect some stayed because they'd be getting money for staying. That's not the case with Ferguson since their tapings go swiftly…but they are operating in a system where producers do sometimes pay for audiences.

If you want to see any TV show in person, it's usually not difficult if you send away well in advance. Writing to the show or applying via its official website will usually get you there. If you want to go at the last minute, one of these services might help you with some programs. I suspect their greatest value to producers is for pilots and shows that aren't on the air yet and therefore have no one requesting tickets. But they probably can get you in to see Wheel of Fortune as easily as going through normal channels and — who knows? — you might even be able to make a couple of bucks going to see it. Maybe they'll even let you use that money on your way out to buy a vowel or something. Me, I'd spend it all on an "E."

John McCain voted for the $700 billion buck TARP package — the one used to bail out banks and other financial institutions — and at the time, sure seemed to understand just where all that loot was heading. He now is saying he was "misled" and thought the dollars were going directly to help out folks who couldn't pay their mortgages…or something.

Even folks who generally support the senator from Arizona are a bit mystified that the guy thinks he can get away with distancing himself from his own actions like this. But McCain has always done this kind of thing, trying to appeal to both sides and having it both ways. He's a charming guy with a good, often self-deprecating sense of humor, plus he has that War Hero thing going for him and interviewers generally love him. So he's usually gotten away with it and even somehow got the rep for "straight talk." Or at least he did before he got into the real hardball of running for president. It didn't work so well there and it probably won't work in his current re-election campaign when he has a serious contender trying to pass him on the right.

But never mind that. What I want to know is why "I was misled" is ever a defense for any elected official. Don't we count that as a flaw? As dereliction of duty? If your business manager spent a huge chunk of your money on something and then came back to you and said "I was misled," how much longer would that person be your business manager?

Friday afternoon, I did something I haven't done for around ten years. No, not shower…though I did that in the morning before the other thing. At the request of a friend, I went to an elementary school and talked to kids about cartoons. I showed them an episode of The Garfield Show and then I gave drawing lessons, teaching them how to draw Charlie Brown, Garfield, Scooby Doo, Bart Simpson, Spongebob Squarepants and an original character that we allcreated together. The kids, who were all around eight years of age, did quite well and some showed promise. It would not surprise me one bit if twenty years from now, some professional cartoonist came up to me at a convention and said, "Hey, were you the guy who came to my third grade class in 2010 and taught everyone how to draw Charlie Brown?"

I used to do this every few months because…well, I usually learn as much as the kids do. It's fascinating to watch them view a cartoon I've written and to see what they laugh at and what holds their attention. Unsurprisingly with kids this age, the physical humor gets more response than funny lines or situations…but some of Garfield's snide comments got immense laughs. More significant, I thought, was not what made them laugh but what held their attention.

The group I spoke to consisted of two separate classes crammed into one classroom. When I was ushered in, the instructors were spending a lot of energy, as they apparently do all day, just getting the kids to stop talking and listen. I have a fairly good memory of my schoolroom when I was that age and I don't recall us having quite that attention-deficit disorder. A generational thing? Too much exposure these days to fast-paced media? I don't know enough about children in and of this age to be able to say. I do know that once I told these kids I wrote the Garfield cartoons, I got the undivided focus of about two-thirds of the room and when I mentioned that I used to write Scooby Doo, I snagged the other third.

Well, why not? If you were that age, wouldn't you rather listen to a guy talk to you about Scooby Doo than about long division?

Another thing that surprised me: I was telling them how when I was their age, I'd watch cartoons on TV or read comic books of the characters I saw on TV…and then I'd teach myself to draw those characters. One of the kids asked me what the first one was — and while I'm not sure it was, I said, "This one." Then I turned to the whiteboard on which I was drawing and began sketching a Yogi Bear…about as well as I did when I was seven, I might add. As I started, I thought, "I wonder if they'll even know who this is." Yogi's not seen on Cartoon Network. He's on Boomerang a lot but I don't know how many homes get that…and there are no comic books.

Well, I needn't have worried. I was halfway through the drawing and everyone was screaming out, "Yogi Bear! Yogi Bear!" He was one of everyone's favorite characters. The clear fave by a wide margin, by the way: Spongebob. After I taught them how to draw Mr. Squarepants, they all wanted lessons on his supporting cast…and were disappointed that I simply don't know those characters. Several of them also do Spongebob impressions, one so well that Tom Kenny's job is in serious jeopardy. Sorry, Tom.

The first time I ever did this was back in '73. I was taking some morning classes at Santa Monica College and I was asked by a young lady who was in one of 'em. Afternoons, she was a student teacher at a nearby elementary school and she thought her students would benefit from a little chalk talk about cartooning. At the time, I wasn't interested in that but I was interested in the young lady. If she'd asked me to play Twister in the fast lane of the Santa Monica Freeway at rush hour, I probably would have.

I got there and watched a little of the class before I began. That's when I was told it was a "problem" class of kids with "learning disabilities" which mostly consisted of not paying attention to anything the teacher said and occasionally hurling items at her or each other. For an instant there, I wondered if playing Freeway Twister might not be preferable…but then I was introduced and when I started talking about cartoons and drawing, I suddenly had rapt attention. The teachers later said they had never seen that much focus. The kids didn't remain silent but like the ones yesterday, all their chatter was suddenly on topic, about the subject being taught.

Apart from the fact that the teaching assistant never did go out with me, the trip couldn't have gone better…a fact for which I deserve zero credit. Anyone who could have drawn the pupils' favorite characters could have done it, and many could have done it a lot better than I did. The point was that that kind of thing reached these kids…who, I'm horrified to realize, could have been the parents of the children I spoke to on Friday. That many years have passed. Still, the reaction was identical and it always is.

So is the moral of the story. The idea is to leave them with a number of thoughts. One is that this is a job. You can actually make a living drawing funny pictures or writing silly stories. Another thought is that you don't have to make it your occupation. There can be joy and satisfaction in just creating for the sake of making something.

Yet another is that whichever way you decide to go with it, it requires practice…lots of practice and dedication. The fourth thought is that it can be well worth it. I'm not sure classrooms ever do a good job of convincing children that things they learn there can have value to them later, possibly because so much of it will not.

Lastly, and this one is not so much a thought as a sensation…but it's just neat to be able to do that. Being able to draw Spongebob is like gaining a super-power. It might be worth investing the effort to learn to do it just so you can do it. I felt that way about drawing when I was a kid and also about magic and ventriloquism and a few other things. Even though I didn't go into those fields, I'm quite sure those interests had a role in getting me to where I am today. My father, who had no real marketable skills and always regretted it, used to say, "It's not that important what you do in the world as long as you can do something!"

Anyway, that's how I spent my Friday. And like I said, I think I learned at least as much as they did. Maybe more.

Jonathan Stein points out that legalizing marijuana is now more popular than the Republican Party.

Regarding the episode of The Late Late Show that Craig Ferguson did without an audience: Around the Internet some are claiming that this was a money-saving ploy. This theory goes with the chilling revelation that Mr. Ferguson's show actually (gasp!) pays a reported $25 per person to get a studio audience into their studio. And so, some conclude, they were seeing if they could get by without that expense.

A couple of folks have written to ask me if this is all so. Well, some of it is. Many, perhaps most TV shows sometimes pay to fill their seats. This includes some programs you might not expect would have this problem (like The Price is Right) but they do, especially at times of the year that don't fit the loose category of Tourist Season. In such times, many a producer has been known to go to an audience service and pay for people. There are also shows that could get enough spectators if they just took anyone but they want a certain age group in their bleachers so they go to a head hunter and say, "Get us young, attractive people between the ages of 18 and 35."

There are many ways the services round up people. They go to various clubs and organizations and arrange field trips. They advertise. They have websites. Here's a link to one service that rounds up warm bodies to see Dr. Phil, The Big Bang Theory and The New Adventures of Old Christine, among others. Here's a link to one that's drumming up folks who want to see Craig Ferguson's show, as well as The Price is Right, Jeopardy!, The Tonight Show and Wheel of Fortune. (There are about a dozen websites that offer "priority seating" for Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune. I guess those shows pay real well for audience members.) That's just for Los Angeles. Here's a link to the site of a firm that rounds up audiences for shows done in New York, including Late Show with David Letterman, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show and Jerry Springer.

In some cases, these offerings are really only for emergency standby seats…like I know Colbert and The Daily Show have a long waitlist for tix from folks who write in directly. But it's not impossible that they might occasionally have a few seats open and when they do, this company might be able to put you in them. More likely, if you apply there to go to The Daily Show, they'll say, "We'll try and get you in but if by some chance we can't, we have this great other show you'll love…")

Sometimes, the services even pass along a portion of their compensation to the seat-fillers. I don't think they're doing it now but there used to be an outfit that would approach tourists visiting Farmers Market here in L.A., which is right next to CBS Television City. They'd offer free tickets to something taping next door and if necessary, they'd tell you that if you sat through The $100,000 Pyramid or Press Your Luck, you could make ten bucks. I once turned down $15 to sit through The Pat Sajak Show. It was paid in cash but of course, you didn't get it until after the taping. The guy offering it actually said to me, "We're not that stupid!"

So it's not a scandal that Craig Ferguson's show sometimes pays for some of its audience. But it's a small studio and they must get some people who just write in for tickets…so I doubt they're spending all that much on seat-filling. The show is a success with a studio audience there and it's ridiculous to think they'd muck with that success just to save such a minor amount. I think they did without an audience that night just because Craigy wanted to do a show without a studio audience.

Another event for folks in or around Los Angeles! On Sunday, March 21, a lot of fine authors will be appearing at the 31st Annual Paperback Collectors Show and Sale out in Mission Hills. The list so far includes Ray Bradbury, Larry Niven, Bruce Kimmel, Peter Beagle, Frederik Pohl, Don Glut, Barbara Hambly, Edd Byrnes and…well, you can see it all at this website. Admission is five bucks and authors will be signing for free and the whole event is not far from one great barbecue restaurant and another, so I may just go out there and get me some books and ribs.

The good folks at Operation USA have been sending vital aid to Haiti…and now they're already sending supplies and medical assistance to Chile.

Not to disparage any other charitable effort but I've been following and supporting Operation USA for some time and I've met several of its officers. You can't get a better return on your donations than you'll get when you send them money. The absolute minimum goes to administrative costs and further fund-raising. The absolute maximum goes to helping people who really need help.

Okay, here's the only reason some of you come to this blog five or six times a day: Waiting for me to announce that the Souplantation chain (aka in some areas, Sweet Tomatoes) has its Creamy Tomato Soup available. In a splendid example of overselling something in quest of humor, I have extolled its merits for a few years here in a half-serious attempt to harass the Souplantation people into adding it to their regular lineup. They have been grateful for the plugola to the extent of sending me coupons for free meals…but they ain't about to feature it more often just because I like it.

But they will have it for the month of March, which means starting tomorrow or Monday. Just don't go to your local Souplantation or Sweet Tomatoes (assuming you have one; here's the list) expecting a soup that will cure pattern baldness, combat global warming or make members of the opposite sex like you. It's just real good tomato soup. These days, that can be very reassuring.

Lots of mail regarding my babbling a few days ago about having so many discount cards. An awful lot of you pointed out that when you don't have your cards at some stores, you can give the clerk your phone number and accomplish the same thing. Well, yes you can…at some stores. I haven't had a lot of luck trying that.

Several of you recommended KeyRingThing, a service that might help with your discount cards that involve bar codes. You can enter six numbers online and then print out one card which will take the place of six. That's free…but of course, that card would not be plastic and sturdy. Or you can pay a fee and they'll print out a plastic and sturdy one and mail it to you. That doesn't seem like much of a solution to me.

Several more of you recommended a free iPhone app called CardStar. With this, you enter the numbers and it puts a bar code on the screen of your iPhone. I downloaded this the other day and entered about eight cards into it. I've been to two of those stores since then and in neither case would their scanners read the bar code off my iPhone screen. Then again, that wasn't a big inconvenience for me because the salesfolks in each case then entered the number manually.

So that helps. Unfortunately, it doesn't help with the kind of card that has a magnetic stripe and I have many of them. But thanks to everyone who had suggestions. The traffic I get on this blog seems to include a lot of bright, helpful people. And some of you claim to have even more of these cards than I do.

Thanks to "Eqdoktor," whoever that is, for setting Wikipedia straight about Larry Gelbart and Woody Allen. It won't stop the misconceptions totally but it might cut them down a bit.

The headline on this one says it all: "Deaths Rising for Lack of Insurance, Study Finds."

20,000-30,000 people in this country die each year because they lack health insurance…and these numbers do not even include children. If 20,000 Americans died each year because of bagpipe music, Republicans would insist we invade Scotland and start waterboarding Craig Ferguson.