Monthly Archives: June 2009

For a while now, Jerry Lewis has been talking, as if it's a done deal, about a Broadway musical based on his 1963 movie, The Nutty Professor. In the past — here and here — we've tracked the announcements and expressed skepticism that this thing would ever make Manhattan. Lewis didn't announce a book writer, a lyricist or a composer…or any trace of a theater in which to mount a first production. It was, he said at one point, likely to debut in '07 at the Old Globe in San Diego, but apparently no one ever talked to the Old Globe about that.

What he did seem to have was the idea (a good one, probably) and he had selected a performer named Michael Andrew to star in the title role. Mr. Andrew was showcased as such on Jerry's Labor Day Telethon at least one year.

Well now. The Nutty Professor (The Musical) is finally getting somewhere. It's nowhere near the Great White Way but it's getting somewhere. Lewis has announced that Marvin Hamlisch will compose the music and that Rupert Holmes will write the book and lyrics. Those are two guys with genuine Broadway chops…so the project has suddenly taken a massive leap towards reality. We need to dial our skepticism back a few clicks, though it won't go away altogether until we hear of an actual theater and a tentative opening date. Oh, and a star would be nice, too. The press release says casting is to come. There is no mention of Michael Andrew.

It all still sounds to me like the endeavor is also lacking proper financial backing and that fingers are crossed that this announcement will jar that trivial element into place. But it sure wouldn't be the first time that someone tried to raise money for a play by acting like it was more definite than it actually was. That's not the least uncommon…though since such plans usually don't have such big names attached, we usually don't hear much about them. What is rare is for the necessary millions to be entrusted to a guy who's never staged for the stage before. My guess is they won't be able to line up the bucks unless there's someone on the premises who's experienced in that regard, even if Lewis retains the official credit as director.

So this thing could happen. I went to New York to catch Jerry's opening night in the revival of Damn Yankees — his Broadway debut. I'm not ready to book my tickets yet for the world premiere of The Nutty Professor on stage…but I'm prepared to be surprised that there may just be one.

Bernie Madoff got 150 years in prison. That works out to $120,000,000 for each year…or ten million bucks a month.

I have a friend whose car was taken by a thief. The car was worth maybe $5000 and they caught the guy who took it and he got 3-5 years behind bars. If he did the minimum sentence, which he probably did, that's like $139 a month.

Bernie got a helluva bargain. At those prices, I would have stolen more.

I haven't listened to it but authorities have released tapes of the 911 call that summoned paramedics to the home of Billy Mays the other morning. And the 911 call for Michael Jackson is all over the web. Why do they do this?

I'm all for the public's right to know but we don't have a right to know everything. There's such a thing as attorney-client privilege. And doctor-patient confidentiality. And your right to talk to someone else without them recording it and posting it on the Internet without your consent.

A person finds a friend or family member passed out and not breathing. In panic, they call 911 and that's often one of the worst moments of a life. They're scared. They're overcome with emotion. Sometimes, they're facing the very real possibility that the person they love the most has just died or is about to die…

Why is it anyone else's business what they said or what the operator said in reply?

Okay, yes, it's amusing to hear when some mother calls 911 because her daughter won't eat her asparagus. And I suppose if some death was under suspicious circumstances, that 911 call might be evidence…but then, it belongs in a courtroom, not on TMZ.com.

Am I missing something here? When "authorities" release such things, is it ever on the authority of the caller? Is the family consulted? Or do they, as it would seem, just put it out there for public titillation without regard to anyone's feelings?

Damn. Another one of these.

For the last few months, it was a hush-hush secret that master impressionist Fred Travalena was in and out of hospitals, battling cancer again. It had come and gone in various parts of his body but was back, attacking his precious throat. At the beginning of May, Sperdvac — which is the local old radio show society — had its annual convention and Fred was supposed to appear and play George Burns in a re-creation of an old Burns & Allen radio show. When he cancelled, that was a bad, bad sign. Fred was a trouper in every show biz sense…and if he was letting someone down, it had to be for a dire reason.

He died yesterday of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma at the age of 66. This obit will give you the details of his career but basically, he bounced around in early life between the possible careers of singer, impressionist and commercial art before finally settling on the first two. He was a darn good mimic, especially his replicas of Sinatra and the other members of the Rat Pack. He did a darn good Jim Nabors, too. And just about anybody else you might request.

I first worked with Fred when he supplied voices for an animated special I wrote for ABC called The Secret World of Og. It was one of the first times he did a cartoon, if not the first and as you might imagine, he was quite good at it. Later though, when he was offered more work of that sort, he usually declined. "I like being in front of an audience," he told me once when he courteously turned me down. He was also bothered that most cartoon jobs pay union scale. That's more than enough money for most people. I have friends who've gotten very wealthy doing animation gigs for union scale.

But Fred was uncomfy with the whole concept of working for minimums as a matter of principle. He didn't like doing it and he didn't like hearing that others did it…and this was not out of greed. No performer I can think of did more pro bono work than he did, lending his talents to every charity and noble cause that asked him. He placed a high value on what entertainers supply and when you saw him supplying, you could understand why. I hope you got to see him live, at least once. He sure did like being in front of an audience…and audiences liked having him there.

Here's a repeat of a clip I linked to a year and a half ago of Fred in front of audiences…

Mega-Swindler Bernard Madoff is to be sentenced today…and I love that grown men and women are actually arguing for the full 150-year sentence. Like it's a slap on the wrist if a 71 year old man only gets, say, a 100-year sentence. Those extra fifty years will teach him not to do it again. The L.A. Times article actually includes the statement that "In papers filed late Friday, prosecutors argued for the full 150-year term or at least a lifetime sentence."

That's kind of like saying of a convicted serial murderer, "We really think you should execute him twenty times but for God's sake, at least kill him once or twice!"

They also quote a lawyer — I don't think it's one of Madoff's — saying, "This isn't a guy who murdered people, who raped people or who sexually abused children. This is a guy who stole money, and it's terrible. But when you climb down through the hysteria, we don't generally give life sentences to people who steal a lot of money." That's true. Then again, criminals don't usually steal amounts equal to the entire gross national product of Uzbekistan.

"A lot of money" is kind of the key phrase here. A few days ago, I believe I used that term to describe the full retail price of Adobe InDesign. The amount Mr. Madoff made disappear is a wee bit more than "a lot of money."

What would I do if I were the judge? Easy. We throw the guy in prison for an indeterminate time. We give him a job in there…working in the laundry or making license plates or something. And we pay him for this at the full minimum wage, which is presently $6.55 an hour.

Then he stays in prison until he pays back the full $13 billion. With interest.

Tim Dunleavy writes…

I read your pal Bob Ingersoll's take on the recent Guys and Dolls revival, and I agree with what he wrote — although I found the delightful performances by Lauren Graham and Craig Bierko partially redeemed the production. But I must point out one error in his review. He wrote: "[Oliver] Platt was actually taller than Kearran Giovanni, the actor who played Big Jule." In fact, Kearran Giovanni is a lovely African-American woman who appeared in the ensemble; she was one of the Hot Box Girls, and also played the role of "Carmen." (No, I don't remember which role is Carmen, either.) Big Jule was actually played by Glenn Fleshler — although, at the performance I attended, the role was played by his understudy, William Ryall. (Ryall, incidentally is taller than Platt, and was appropriately intimidating in the role.) I can see how Bob made the mistake — Giovanni and Fleshler's names are one line away from each other on the cast list page of the Playbill.

I don't think that's how he got them wrong. Here…take a look at these two people…

See? Almost identical. Matter of fact, I'm not even certain that I haven't mixed up their photos.

My apologies (and I'm sure, Bob's) to Ms. Giovanni and Mr. Fleshler. And as I was formatting the above to post, a fellow named John Platen wrote to say he also saw the same production and thought the company was wonderful; that the problems were just in the casting of Mr. Platt and in the director (or whoever) doing things different just for the sake of doing things different. Like I said: Wish I'd seen it.

Now, here's something you don't see every day, Chauncey: Six legends from the world of animation, all together in one photograph. We have three great producers (Joe, Walter and Bill) and three great voice actors (Don, Daws and June) and they sure don't make 'em like that anymore.

And before I forget…there's something nicely characteristic of the way Hanna and Barbera are dressed. Bill Hanna always looked like he was running a factory (and I guess he was) and Joe Barbera always looked like he was about to go out on a date (quite possible). This was taken in Barbera's office…I'd say around 1986 and no, I have no idea why all these people were there together.

This photo may or may not appear in June Foray's autobiography, which I mentioned here earlier today. What I didn't mention was that (a) Earl Kress and I are helping her assemble it and (b) it goes to press this coming week. It just this minute occurred to me to ask here if anyone has any fabulous photos that oughta be in June's book…preferably high-resolution photos that she's in or which feature shots of characters she voiced. Do you have anything like that? If so, drop me a line a.s.a.p. Might get you thanked in the book. Might even get you a free copy autographed by June.

The Board of Governors of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced another change in the Oscar ceremony. They're going to set up a separate, non-televised ceremony each November at which they'll present the special Oscars — the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and any Honorary Awards they see fit to bestow. These honors will be mentioned on the telecast but that's about it: A quick mention.

Rough translation: We just realized that those awards usually don't help the movie studios promote current product so there's no point in wasting valuable television time on them…plus the recipients are usually old and we don't want people on the Oscars who are old and aren't Jack Nicholson or Clint Eastwood. Oh and by the way, is it possible to get some hotter celebs into that boring Death Montage?

Yow. It looks like the guy with that website is going to have to find someone else to sell it to.

Well, at least Abe is still with us.