Dale Herbest asked me this question which a lot of people have sent me…
Even just from brief snippets, did you watch enough of the Oscars to be able to judge Conan as host?
I would never presume to judge anyone from "brief snippets," especially hosting a show that I really don't like much, no matter who hosts it.
My ideal Oscar host would be someone who came out with all the envelopes and said, "All right…tonight, no monologue, no presenter speeches, no musical numbers. I'm going to open all the envelopes in rapid succession and if you win, run up here to thank whoever you want to thank but keep it under ninety seconds. Someplace in there, we'll stop and run the "In Memoriam" reel, which we're going to make three minutes longer so we can honor thirty more people than usual. Then we'll open the rest of the envelopes and be out of here in ninety minutes! The first award is for Best Supporting Actor and the nominees are…"
But of course, that's not what anyone wants. The network wants a long show so they can sell a lot of expensive commercials. The studios want clips and a lot of talk about the product they sell. The stars want hours of attention on them and a lot of endless praise for themselves and their profession. The current way of doing it services all those wants and I still don't think it matters much who the host is.
