Here is the third and final installment in Alton Brown's video crusade to convince people who want to cook a turkey a dangerous way to not use nuclear power or rockets or lava or anything like that but instead to use his invention, the Turkey Derrick. This is somewhat selfless of Mr. Brown since he is not selling Turkey Derricks and makes no money whatsoever if you assemble one.
But even his brainstorm seems a little dangerous to me. Open flame…open canister of peanut oil bubbling away at 350°…seems to me someone out there is clumsy enough to turn that into a disaster even if I never attempt it.
First, here's his third installment as a cautionary note…
Then, here's a video in which Mr. Brown demonstrates his invention and provides a link to more detailed instructions…
And finally, if I was going to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving or any time, I think I'd try roasting it the way Brian Lagerstrom does it. He's my current favorite YouTube Chef to watch and think, "Gee, I wish I could do that." Don't even try to tell me "Anyone can learn to cook" because it always reminds me of Jim Backus in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World saying "Anybody can fly a plane" and then turning the controls in-flight over to Buddy Hackett. We all saw how well that worked.
But really, I do not have the patience, the coordination, the knowledge or the kitchen to cook the way Brian Lagerstrom does. If everyone could do that, there would be no DoorDash, no Grubhub, no Postmates, no Uber Eats…