Wanna know where I think the election currently stands? Here's my answer — which is probably good until the polls close on November 5: It's gonna be up and down, up and down, up and down…with many moments which will, at least at first, feel like game-changers.
We've already had plenty of these. Trump getting shot at was one. Biden doing so poorly in the debate was one. Biden dropping out was a big one. Trump getting convicted of 34 felonies was one. The big Supreme Court ruling was one. There will be more. If Trump feels he's going down, he might generate a half-dozen of 'em. I think it's a roller coaster election and that may not stop on November Fifth. If Harris and Whoever win that day, Trump will probably start a campaign to try and get Vice-President Kamala Harris to not certify the election for President Kamala Harris.
I believe Trump will lose but we've got a long way to go before that happens.
If you want an answer less generic than mine, go read Josh Marshall. I think he has a very realistic assessment of where things stand at this moment.
I don't go to a lot of conventions but I seem to get someone mad at me every time I do. After the con, I get an angry e-mail from someone who says they brought a whole pile of comics for me to autograph and carried them around and couldn't find me. Once, the incensed message was from someone who'd hauled such a stack to a convention I never agreed to attend and which had not advertised my presence. I still don't understand that one.
I just got one of these messages from someone who couldn't find me at Comic-Con in San Diego and, again, I don't understand: They give you a Program Guide listing all the panels and what time they are and what room they're in…so the guy had fourteen notices of where I was. Even Groo could figure that one out. And because of my mobility problems, a Galapagos Tortoise could have caught up with me.
Instead, this fellow somehow spent his time at the con wandering around the exhibit hall I never entered, looking for a table I never sat behind. Every so often, you hear about someone who claims that reading comic books make you stupid and maybe, once in a rare while, they're right.
Skip this if you're sick of hearing about Guys and Dolls and especially about the 1992 revival with Nathan Lane, Faith Prince, Peter Gallagher and Josie de Guzman. I saw it with the original cast and enjoyed it a lot. (It ran for a little less than three years and for 1,143 performances. After Mr. Lane left the show, Nathan Detroit was played at various times by Adam Arkin, Jonathan Hadary, Jamie Farr and a couple of other gents. A friend of mine who saw Jamie Farr said he was pretty good.)
This is an hour and a half of press coverage, including opening night, and various talk show appearances. You'll see a lot of snippets of numbers in here…
Here are two more installments of Everything You Need To Know About Saturday Night Live. This series is obviously done in cooperation with — and perhaps on assignment from — Peacock or some entity that controls or markets the series but it's still very informative. Here's their overview of Season Three…
Today's COVID test was negative so I'm going to stop testing until there's a reason to think I might have had a new exposure. I made it through Comic-Con without infection and my sympathies go out to those who weren't as fortunate. My left foot's a lot better, too.
I'm also pretty happy with the political news, as well. I'm sure there will be moments between now and 11/5/2024 when I won't be but right this minute, things seem to be going in the right direction. It's kinda fun seeing George Conway going on every single TV show and podcast to tell the world that Donald Trump is a a narcissistic sociopath. Before long, I expect to see him saying this on Sesame Street, House of the Dragon, The Price is Right and…well, just about everything except Presumed Innocent.
Gonna spend my Saturday writing but I have some posts "in inventory" which might turn up here later today.
Like a lot of films that spawn many imitations, the 1980 movie Fame doesn't seem quite as special a few decades after I first saw it. But I watched it again recently and still liked it a lot, especially this number performed by Irene Cara…
It is said that the financial empire that is Las Vegas was built on people who are bad at math. I sometimes think the same about McDonald's.
I don't like many fast food hamburgers but I enjoy theirs every so often. The pricing though can be puzzling…and I should explain here that all the prices I cite are what I presently see on the McDonald's app. They may change tomorrow or they may be showing you different pricing based on your geography.
I should also mention that I prefer my McDonald's burgers with no pickles and no cheese but that omitting these elements does not alter any prices. No matter what the size of the burger, they charge me forty cents if I ask for an extra slice of cheese but don't deduct a cent from my order if I have them leave the cheese off a burger that comes with cheese. Now then…
I can order a regular McDonald's hamburger for $2.79. That gives me a burger with ketchup, mustard and onions and one hamburger patty that weighs a tenth-of-a-pound, which I assume is the pre-cooked weight. The app will let me add a number of extra items for upcharges like bacon, mayo or shredded lettuce but it won't let me add another patty.
For that, I have to order the McDouble, which is the same thing but with two of those tenth-pound patties. That's $3.49 so the extra patty costs me seventy cents. That, as you'll see, is a bargain but this is the only time an extra patty will cost me seventy cents. If I want to add two or three more of those same patties, these will cost me $1.29 each. A McDouble with three patties would therefore run me $4.78.
Or for no good reason, I can spend eleven cents more and order the Triple Cheeseburger — the exact same thing with three patties — for $4.89. An additional patty on one of those is again $1.29. That's for the same-size patty that cost me seventy cents when I upgraded from the Hamburger to the McDouble.
Ah, but let's say I decide I don't want any of those translucent tenth-of-a-pound patties. Not for me! Feeling more carnivorous, I decide I want quarter-pound patties. Your basic McDonald's Quarter-Pounder which comes with one of them is $5.79. That's right: A McDonald's burger with .25 pounds of beef in it costs ninety cents more than a McDonald's burger with .3 pounds of beef in it.
If I decide to add another quarter-pound patty to my Quarter-Pounder, that's $2.49 more so that burger would be $8.28. Or I could save a buck twenty-nine — the same amount as one of those extra tenth-of-a-pound patties — and purchase a Double Quarter Pounder for $6.99. Both of those Quarter-Pounders are cheeseburgers but I would have them omit the cheese and, like I said, that doesn't lower any prices.
This is all very confounding. Do you ever get the feeling that this company is run by a clown?
Some of you are going to get hooked on this. Two gents named Jon Schneider and James Stephens have started a YouTube show called Everything You Need To Know About Saturday Night Live — a history of that now-institutional late night program. Every week or so, they put up a new episode of roughly 10-15 minutes summarizing what transpired in one season: Who was in the cast? What were the memorable sketches? What were the firsts? That kind of thing.
The info seems solid and the clips are well-chosen. It's really a very well-done presentation. Here's the first episode covering, of course, Season One…
And here's their coverage of Season Two…
They're currently up to Season Seven and it gets especially interesting in Season Six when the original cast and most of the writers depart and NBC has to rebuild. I'm going to embed them all here, two a day until we catch up…but if you don't want to wait for me, you can find subsequent episodes on this page. I would suggest though going in order. It's a remarkable story about a remarkable show.
Another COVID test. Another negative result. I think I'm safe.
I need to keep reminding myself that five days at Comic-Con is not just five days at Comic-Con. There are also several days of prep and several of recovery. I'm almost unpacked. I'm almost back to my normal pace of work. I'm almost caught up on sleep. Here are some other things I oughta mention…
One of the "challenges" I gave the cartoonists this year at Quick Draw! was to draw something that would show us what the con would be like if it moved, as some have suggested, to Las Vegas. When I mentioned that possibility, just about everyone in Room 6BCF gave out with a pretty loud groan of disapproval. I think the folks who want to see Comic-Con move to Sin City are drastically underestimating how much most people would hate that.
Speaking of Room 6BCF at the convention: There's a guy on an Internet forum who for some reason seems to live to piss on everything everyone does. A lady posted that she loved the Cartoon Voices panel I moderated on Saturday in that hall and that the place was "packed." The pisser — who I don't think was even there — responded that it wasn't; that there were loads of empty seats. One of our panelists, superstar voice actor Neil Ross, took this photo from the stage just before we started. If this isn't packed, I don't want to be in a room that is…
Click above to enlarge the photo.
And remind me: I still have to tell the story about what happened on that panel with Amber Jones, AKA "Amber the Fangirl." You may be able to spot her and her father in the second row in that photo. She's the one grinning and holding up two fingers.
While I'm at it: Some other "I love to complain" person — I think on Facebook — complained about the presentation of the Bill Finger Award at the Friday night award ceremony. They were irate that when Athena Finger (granddaughter of Bill) and I presented, I didn't give Athena the opportunity to say anything. There are two things wrong with this complaint, one being that I opted out of making the presentation this year because my injured foot didn't allow me to make it over to the hotel where the trophies were being handed out.
I prevailed on my friend (and a fellow Finger Award judge) Charlie Kochman to take my place and I handed him the speech I'd prepared which clearly indicated a place where Athena could have made whatever remarks she wanted to make if she wanted to make any remarks. Before the presentation, Charlie asked her and she declined…and I just called her to verify that. Some people just want to find things to criticize.
And there's nothing wrong with that if/when you know what you're talking about…but you don't have to be too eager. I have a lot of e-mails here asking me to elaborate further and write about the controversy engendered by formal Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Roy Thomas claiming a co-creator credit for the character Wolverine. I said what I had to say in a series of posts that began with this one and I had a civil exchange of e-mails with Roy about it that ended with us remaining friends but agreeing to disagree.
Let's find something we can all agree on, huh? I'll try this: "Simone Biles is awesome." Anyone want to fight over that?
Here are two more numbers from Guys and Dolls but neither is the one you're sick of. First is "The Oldest Established," which is sung near the top of the show by all the gamblers including Nathan Detroit, played here by Nathan Lane in the 1992 Broadway revival directed by Jerry Zaks. I saw this production and it was really good. In fact, years later I saw a touring company of it in Las Vegas with Frank Gorshin (!) as Nathan Detroit and Jack Jones (!!) as Sky Masterson and it was still really good, although Nathan Detroit kept lapsing into impressions.
In this video, you may also recognize the gent in the purple suit playing Benny Southstreet. That's J.K. Simmons.
Here's the thing about Guys and Dolls that some of you may not know. When the show was first being assembled in 1950, the first actor signed — before the script and songs were even completed — was Sam Levene as Nathan Detroit. Mr. Levene was then a huge star on Broadway and it was a major coup to get him…though they soon found there was one big problem: He couldn't sing. Quite a few musical numbers were written for his character and quite a few musical numbers were then either dropped or reassigned to other characters because Levene couldn't perform them.
They were still glad to have him because he was (reportedly) very funny in the role — so much so that when Levene finally left the show, Abe Burrows — who wrote the book — found it necessary to add some more jokes to Detroit's part to compensate. But Levene wound up with only one number in the show when it premiered — "Sue Me." For the other numbers he was in, like this one, he was given no solo lines and was ordered to mouth the words but not sing.
Over the years, people who could sing have played the part — Frank Sinatra in the movie, of course — and they're given a little more to vocalize. Here, Nathan Lane gets to sing a bit of "The Oldest Established." Sometimes, Mr. Detroit is added in inappropriately when they sing the title song. Sometimes, a stage production will include "Adelaide," a song written by composer Frank Loesser for the movie. But it can be a frustrating role for someone who can sing. I was told by a performer in that Las Vegas production that when Frank Gorshin was approached, he initially refused to sign unless Nathan Detroit was given the "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" number but signed anyway when the producers refused.
Here's our first number from that 1992 revival…
And now here from the recording session for the cast album, Nathan Lane sings "Sue Me" with Faith Price, who played Adelaide. And you'll see a little of Jerry Zaks, the director…
My longtime friend Shelly Goldstein — oft-mentioned on this blog — released this letter today…
Aug 1, 2024
To: AMPAS
From: Shelly Goldstein
Re: 2025 Academy Awards Host: GET BRUCE!
Dear Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences,
This week it's been announced that both Jimmy Kimmel and John Mulaney turned down your offer to host the 97th Academy Awards on Sunday, March 2, 2025.
Each is a superb comic performer and an excellent choice. I know the topic of "who should host" is an eternal controversy, comparable to such long-standing debates as "Thin Crust vs. Deep Dish," "Over Hiatus, Which Real Housewife Had the Most Work Done" and "Should Ikea Take Out a Restraining Order Against JD Vance?"
I can solve your problem in 2 words: Get Bruce. As in comedy legend, Broadway & TV star, beloved Hollywood Square, and all-purpose mensch, Bruce Vilanch.
His very name is synonymous with "Funny" and "Academy Awards." From 2000 to 2014 he was the head writer of the Oscars, having spent the previous 10 years on its writing staff. (Thanks & applause to all the writers he's worked with on the show.) We're talking the years people remember with joy: the Oscars hosted by Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, Steve Martin, Ellen DeGeneres, Hugh Jackman — with all due respect to each artists' supreme comic chops, having the best comedy mind in the business feeding them the funny made their appearances soar.
Imagine how brilliant the opening monologue will be, if it's Bruce center stage.
And while he's brilliantly written for the Academy Awards, he's also written the Tonys, Grammys and Emmys. Not to mention his legendary work with the Divine Miss Midler — as well as being on speed dial to virtually every single person in show business who needs to sound funnier and smarter. It would take up less space to publish a list of the celebs Bruce hasn't written for.
"BUT!" I hear you cry, "A writer isn't necessarily a performer." Tell that to, I dunno, Steve Martin, Tina Fey, Larry David, Amy Poehler, Stephen Colbert, Albert Brooks, John Cleese, Emma Thompson, Rob Reiner, Nia Vardalos, Key & Peele, Rachel Bloom, Kristen Wiig, Phoebe Waller-Bridge…I could go on but you get the point.
"BUT!" I hear you say…Not enough people know who he is. Bull pucky! Bruce has proven himself on TV, on Film, on Broadway. A documentary has been made about his life and unmatched career. Jon Stewart often uses his name and photo to button many a joke. It always gets a huge laugh. He appeared as himself on the Simpson's for God's sake! Bruce's performances can be 3-dimensional in a 2-dimensional medium.
"BUT!" I hear you say…Don't we need to diversify the host? Yes. Clearly that wasn't an issue for you when you offered the gig to Mssrs. Kimmel and Mulaney. (Each is brilliant. All respect to both of them.) So yeah, Bruce is a man. If you don't believe me, check out his Grindr profile. I'm a woman and a comedy writer and I know too well that women are severely overlooked in all aspects of comedy.
Still, there are many varieties of discrimination that need visibility. Bruce is a proud, respected and beloved gay man who throughout his spectacular career has never hidden who he is from the world. We're talking decades before Ellen came out (Who also did a great job as Oscars host. Guess who wrote for her?) Having Bruce host would be overwhelmingly pleasing to millions in your core audience — gay, straight, all points in-between and Lindsay Graham.
Bruce and Shelly
As for "diversity" — despite all the talk there is one group that is invariably ignored by the Academy, not to mention most of show business, onscreen and behind the scenes — anyone over 50. The industry shoves us so deeply into the ageism closet, we have a better chance finding work as a garment bag.
I've noticed for far too-many years the only time we're guaranteed to see "those of a certain age" on the Academy Awards is during the In Memoriam reel. The only job where Bruce's age should remove him from consideration is Matt Gaetz's prom date.
But when all is said and done, there's one definitive argument: Bruce would be fantabulous. To those that say the Oscars need a current host who embodies Hollywood, as did Johnny Carson and Bob Hope…
Bruce personifies Hollywood history. Hell, he helped create much of it. He's brilliant enough, and funny enough to respect the assignment while knowing exactly how far to go (and when needed, a scooch, farther.) It will be a way for him to apologize to Hollywood for the whole Rob Lowe/Snow White thing. (You don't remember? You're the lucky one.)
No one would ever dare slap him. He'd be the one slapping the show out of any unnecessary ennui.
Let's be honest. Within a year, I'm sure A.I. will somehow find a way to have the Academy Awards hosted simultaneously by Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe and Jar Jar Binks — so before our A.I. overlords fully take the reins, let's give the gig to an actual human being. Who, speaking from personal experience, is one of the best. In a bitter election year, this is one choice we all can agree on.
Get Bruce! It'll be historic and hilarious. Thank you from someone who's watched the show faithfully every year since I was 5.
To the extent Politics is a Spectator Sport, I currently enjoy watching Pete Buttigieg…who seems to be everywhere. He's smart, he's informed, he's real good at seeming reasonable and debunking false info. One suspects he won't be the running mate of Kamala Harris because a non-white woman and a gay man would cause a lot of MAGAheads who were losing enthusiasm for Trump to race back to his corner. We'd also be in for an awful lot of "butt" jokes.
Still, the guy is tireless and well-spoken and…well, look at him on recently with Jon Stewart. Look at him with Bill Maher. Look at him on Fox News. I haven't seen a lot of political figures of either party who talk this well.
I continue to believe that we're still in for a lot of game-changing moments in this election. There's something very calming to me about Mayor Pete. He reminds me that there are grown-ups in politics.
There have been more reports of folks who attended Comic-Con getting COVID but I've been testing every day and this morning was my fourth negative test. I'll give it two more before I declare myself unscathed by the experience. If I did escape it, it may be because of one or all of the following reasons…
I wore a good N95 mask when feeling crowded (this kind)
I had a booster shot of Moderna on 7/8/24, two weeks before the convention
I didn't venture into the main exhibit hall
Dumb luck?
It may be indicative of something that the price of those masks has come way, way down since the height of The Pandemic. Every doctor I've visited while wearing one in the past few years has complimented me on my selection.
Meanwhile, we have reports of another kind of disease at Comic-Con…
Fourteen people were arrested and 10 victims of sex trafficking were rescued — including a 16-year-old girl — in a sting operation at the Comic-Con International convention in San Diego, California, last week, officials said Thursday.
If you read the reports, it's clear that Comic-Con itself was in no way involved or responsible. It's just the kind of operation that thrives on events that attract people in certain age groups. It was probably way more prevalent in San Diego back when it was more of a "Navy town" than it is these days. We don't have (or need) many more details than that.
A friend at the con also told me that there was a legal brothel just over the border in Tijuana that was advertising special discounts if you showed them your Comic-Con badge. Mine said "Invited Guest" on it so I wonder what I could have gotten down there — apart from something much worse than COVID.
