A few days ago, Jordan Williams wrote to ask — well, here: I'll let you read it for yourself…
In your blog post today, you mentioned dining at the Russian Tea Room in New York in 1983. What was it like? I ask because for years and years, I heard about that place and how it was the greatest place to eat in the world and all the famous people ate there. I was dying to go but it wasn't until years later that I finally managed it and I was so disappointed. Was it wonderful in 1983?
I'm not the guy to ask, Jordan. Between my food allergies and my very limited palate, I try to avoid fancy restaurants that other folks may love. I was out that evening with a bunch of executives from the Group W Television company and since they were on expense accounts, they wanted to go to someplace expensive and trendy. I will admit it was an interesting outing, though not because of the food.
The maître d' who seated us made a point of telling us he was putting us in the "Tootsie booth," so-dubbed because a key scene in the movie Tootsie was filmed there with Dustin Hoffman and Sydney Pollack sitting where we were seated. In the booth next to us, Walter Cronkite was dining and across from us was one in which Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was eating a very rare, expensive caviar.
I know that because someone in our party pointed to Ms. Onassis and told our server, "I'll have what she's having." That lady in our party was considerably surprised at what she got and further surprised — "horrified" would be a better word — at what it cost. As she ate food she didn't enjoy very much, she told us she was worried that her employers would berate her for spending so much on dinner. (I don't know if they ever did.)
Me? I ordered the chicken kiev and sat there, eating it Famous Person Adjacent…about as close to "classy" as I've ever gotten. My food was…okay. Nothing special. It struck me that the only notable thing about the restaurant was who else was dining there while you did. Perhaps that has changed since 1983.
I couldn't help but overhear a few conversations at Mr. Cronkite's table. He was dining alone but folks kept stopping by to say hello and I guess they just wanted the bragging rights — "I spoke with Walter Cronkite the other night." Two of the tablehoppers I overheard said something complimentary to Mr. Cronkite and then buttoned it with his famous sign-off line, "…and that's the way it is." Mr. Cronkite chuckled politely as if no one had ever thought to say that to him before.
Once, I heard Don Adams, the star of Get Smart, say, "The great thing about having a famous catch phrase is that you get to use the same joke over and over. The bad thing is that every friggin' person you meet think they're so goddamn clever to throw it back at you." Mr. Adams had about eight of them so he knew of what he spoke — and no, he did not use the word "friggin'."
But like I said, I'm not the guy to ask about the cuisine there. I never enjoy the food at fancy, famous places where the alleged Upper Class flocks to chow down. Back at the time of this story, The Russian Tea Room was "the" place to dine in New York but I would have much rather been at the Carnegie Deli. There, I could have had a terrific corned beef on rye and a knish. And if anyone famous was at the next table, it was only Jackie Mason.
