I get a lot of spam calls on my phone and normally, if a call comes in and I don't recognize the number, I may not answer it. But I'm waiting for a somewhat important call from someone who'll be calling from a number I won't recognize and when this person's secretary phoned me the other day to arrange this call, my iPhone identified her call as a "Spam Risk." So just to make sure, I answered every call yesterday and decided to keep a log of them.
Yes, I know that answering these calls can make it more likely I'll get more of them in the future. But I really don't want to miss the important call and since I block and report the ones that aren't the important call, I figure I'm helping to bring down their occurrence. Every one of these calls came from what appeared to be a different number…
- 5:41 AM — This one I missed because I was asleep. Fortunately.
- 8:12 AM — I'm up for this one but there's no one on the line. As I understand it, when this happens, it can mean one of two things. One is that it's a "phishing" call intended only to see if someone will answer at this number and if so, they include that number on a list they sell to telemarketers. Or some telemarketers use a computer program that dials several numbers at once and then the telemarketer talks to whichever number is answered first, then the other numbers that are dialed get dead air.
- 9:02 AM — Michael from "Advanced Orthopedic Medical" calls to say they've received an "online indication" that I have serious back problems. I tell him I have no back problems and I ask him where he got this "online indication." He says they also have an "online indication" that I am diabetic. I ask again where these "online indications" come from. He hangs up on me.
- 9:03 AM — Another call with no one on the line.
- 9:30 AM — "Eliza" finally calls. Usually, I hear from her before nine. Eliza is a robo-calling computer voice — a sweet, friendly-sounding lady who goes by many names and fronts for a wide array of companies that I suspect are all the same company and it has as many different names as she does. She tells me she is with "Elder Care" and reminds me that it's Open Enrollment time for various health plans including Medicare. Should I be interested, she will hand me off to one of their agents — a live person, I presume — to discuss my insurance needs. I've been meaning to talk to one of those agents just to see what their hardsell is all about but I'm on another call — a real one — at the moment so I just hang up on Eliza. Next time she calls back, I may stay on the line long enough to get the entire pitch. If I know Eliza, it won't be long.
- 9:52 AM — A non-medical call! Evan from A.C. Care calls to offer me a great deal to have his company come by and clean out all my air-conditioning ducts. Evan sounds like he's in a boiler room full of other callers and his accent suggests English is not his first language and maybe not even his second or third. I tell him my home has no air-conditioning and therefore no ducts that need cleaning out — and that's true. I would never lie to Evan. He is very polite when he thanks me for telling him that and he apologizes for wasting my time.
- 10:21 AM — Another call with no one on the line.
- 11:36 AM — A robocall with the recorded voice of a man who sounds like he has a lot of testosterone in his veins. He says he's calling on behalf of the National Police Association and that's where I terminate the call. As I understand it, the scam here is that the organizations that sound like they represent law enforcement and ask for donations are private concerns that get away with that representation as follows: They do solicit funds on behalf of the cause they represent but then they only pass along a smidgen of the money they collect to that cause, retaining the rest for their own expenses. They could be sending 1% or less. The same deal is apparently true of a lot of the spam e-mails I get asking me to donate to Donald Trump or various right-wing causes. They keep 99% or more of the money as their collection fee. Even if I wanted to fund a crusade to lock all Liberals up in prison, I wouldn't do it that way.
- 11:37 AM — And no sooner do I hang up on the bogus police guy than I get another one of those calls with no one on the line. The phone numbers in the Caller IDs are different but I'm wondering if it's the same computer dialing me. Back-to-back calls like that happen a lot.
- 12:00 PM — A noon-time mystery call from no one but my phone said it was a "Telemarketer." I'm starting to get worried about "Eliza." This is the longest she's gone in the last week or two without calling me. I hope she's okay. If I had her number, I'd call and ask her invasive questions about her health.
- 2:34 PM — Emma (a live person) calls from…well, she mumbled the name of her company but they do plumbing and heating. She offers me a free inspection of my central heating system. I tell her I don't have a central hearing system…and that's a true statement but she calls me "Liar" and hangs up. Sounds to me like someone is not happy with their own life choices.
- 3:19 PM — No one on the line.
- 4:16 PM — No one on the line.
- 4:43 PM — No one on the line.
- 4:51 PM — "Eliza" finally calls again except now she is "Sophia" from Elder Care. Same voice, same delivery, same everything…and I'm wondering why they think folks who won't talk to someone named Eliza will talk to someone named Sophia. Does it occur to them that if I keep getting the same call from a lady who keeps changing her name, that makes the whole thing seem like more of a scam? If she'll lie about her name, what won't she lie about? Anyway, it's good to know she's still speaking to me even if I do keep hanging up on her.
- 5:02 PM — "Eliza" calls again and this time she's back to being "Eliza." I wish she'd make up her mind. I hang up on her.
- 5:24 PM — It's "Eliza" again and she's making up for ignoring me since her earlier call. This time, I answer the few simple questions she poses and she says she'll connect me with one of her supervisors. Ten seconds later, Steven (a live person) comes on the line and says, "Good afternoon, sir. I hope you're having a fine day." I tell him, "I am but it'll be better if you can tell me how I can stop getting these phone calls." Steven immediately hangs up on me. I wonder if Eliza knows she's working for such a rude person.
All in all, it was a rather normal day on the spam call front. I wish I'd received that important call so I could stop answering the phone every time it rings.