P.I.G.I.N.

When I started this "Person I'm Glad I'm Not" feature, I honestly thought it would be a different person every day. I shoulda known it would be tough to designate anyone besides You-Know-Who. Today, Trump's in a courtroom where his former "fixer" Michael Cohen is unloading on him while yet another Trump attorney — who by tomorrow he'll be saying was never his attorney — has flipped and will be testifying against him. I wonder if the people he currently admits are his attorneys have told him exactly how much trouble he's in.

If you're like me and you don't want to even hear this man's voice, check out a few seconds of any recent speech. He's incoherent, he's rambling more than ever, he's admitting things that will be used against him in a court of law and he's slurring his words.

More and more, he's reminding me of one of those drivers you see being pursued by police in a high-speed chase. He has no idea where he's going, just that he has to try and keep ahead of everybody, forgetting (always) that there's a police chopper overhead that he can't possibly outrun.

His tires are shredding from the spike strips or just how hard he's driving the auto. He hits things and his bumpers fly off and his rear-view mirror's gone so he has no idea what's going on around him. You're watching the car disintegrate piece by piece and just waiting for the inevitable crash…or maybe he'll stop or be PIT-manuevered into stopping and then in mad desperation, he'll foot-bail and start running across the freeway or into some strange neighborhood with the police just steps behind him and…

…and it's just getting more and more brutal. I actually have Jake Tapper's e-mail address and I'm thinking of writing him and suggesting he start covering this story from a helicopter.