Friday evening, a lady who was visiting me said she saw a lizard in my kitchen. She was trustworthy so I believed her even though I myself had never seen a lizard in my kitchen. About an hour ago though, I did. I went downstairs for the first time today and there, acting like there was nowhere in the world it would rather be, was this lizard.
I took a photo with my iPhone, then asked the lizard politely to leave my house. It ignored me so I decided to ask more firmly. It again did not comply so I went over and opened the sliding glass door out to my patio. When the lizard in question refused to take that not-so-subtle hint, I circled around behind it and tried to physically intimidate said lizard into going out towards that door.
When it still did not comply with my wishes, I grabbed up the lid to a plastic container that was within reach and began to "scoot" the lizard in the direction I wished it to go. It finally grasped the concept and sprinted out the door without so much as a "goodbye" or even a plug for its new projects. I then closed the door and, just to be safe, latched it. I no longer have a lizard in my kitchen and now that I know how to do it, I'm going to use this technique on a few human but equally unwanted visitors.