Sam the Native

The other day here, I wrote about William Conrad and his job as the narrator of the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons. A number of you wrote in and reminded me that in an article that I wrote and repurposed for this blog, I told a story that perhaps bears repeating. As noted, those cartoons had a cast of four…and only four. No guest stars…

Some of those Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons are loaded with one and two-line incidental parts, all well-juggled by the stock company. I tallied one in which June [Foray] played six roles, Bill [Scott] played seven and Paul [Frees] played nine.

Bill Conrad usually supplied only his one, marvelous voice. It occasionally frustrated him that Jay Ward, who directed the sessions, didn't think he was capable of contributing more. One day, he told Jay, "Hey, I can double."

Jay was skeptical but he decided to give it a try. He assigned Conrad a bit part in an episode set on a tropical island. The role was a native named Sam who had only one or two very short speeches. When the proper moment came, Conrad screwed up his mouth, pitched his chords high and spoke in a voice he was sure did not sound like the Narrator.

"Cut," Jay said. "Bill, that sounds too much like the Narrator."

So they did another take. Conrad strained, tightened his larynx and performed the brief dialogue in a voice he thought sounded nothing like the Narrator.

"Cut," Jay yelled. "Too much like the Narrator. Try it again."

So Conrad tried it again and again and again. Ordinarily, actors in Jay Ward cartoons got it on the first take or, at worst, the second. That day, William Conrad set the house record.

Just how many attempts it took, no one is certain. Bill Scott used to change the number every time he told the story. Sometimes, it was eight. Sometimes, ten. Whatever, by the time Jay Ward was satisfied, Bill Conrad was hoarse and drenched in perspiration.

Jay, however, felt the situation was too humorous not to make worse. He called his publicist — a fellow named Howard Brandy, who was properly in tune with the Ward sense o' humor. The next day, Variety and Hollywood Reporter announced that Jay Ward Studios would soon commence production on a new series, spun off from the Bullwinkle series. It was called Sam the Native and the press release proclaimed it would star William Conrad as the voice of the title character.

Conrad knew it was a joke but none of his friends did. For weeks, people stopped him and asked, "Hey, congrats on Sam the Native. What does his voice sound like?" The one time I met him, it was twenty years later and I immediately told him I was still looking forward to the Sam the Native show.

Mr. Conrad's reply cannot be repeated here, this paper having certain standards relating to profanity. I can tell you though that he sounded just like the Narrator.

And I guess I should have added that he laughed while saying it. And of course, he sounded just like the Narrator when he laughed.