Okay, you've been warned. Readers of this blog have read a lot here about certain foods I cannot eat. This post is about something I not only can eat but often do. Since I was a wee lad — and yes, I know those of you who've seen me recently will have trouble believing I was ever wee but I was — I've been eating Heinz Beans…
…and not just any Heinz Beans but Heinz Vegetarian Beans, the ones that come in the green can. My mother served them to me when I was wee and continued to do this as I grew increasingly less wee. When I began buying my own groceries, I bought them. One can find them in any local market in the 8 ounce size and the 16 ounce size as seen below…
…or I should say, "One could." Apparently, for many months now, there has been a severe shortage of Heinz Vegetarian Beans around this country…or at least in markets that get my business. I didn't notice because I don't buy my Heinz Vegetarian Beans when I go to the market or order online from them. Every few months, I order a case (twenty-four 8 oz. cans) of Heinz Vegetarian Beans from Amazon and put them in my cupboard. When I'm close to running out, I order another case.
The last case I bought arrived on January 28 of this year and I probably finished off the earlier case and dug into this one around the beginning of March. I immediately noticed these weren't quite as good as they usually are but what I didn't notice was that the expiration date on these cans was way closer than usual. Usually when I get a case, I have two years to consume them.
I figured I just got a not-as-good-as-usual batch but I didn't eat them as often as I usually do. Recently though, I opened a can, took one bite and threw them out. That's when I finally looked at the expiration date. It was September of this year…less than a month away.
I immediately checked out other online sources — Amazon and a few others. None of them has the 8 ounce size. Amazon has the 16 ounce size but the price is way up. None of the local market has even a single can of Heinz Vegetarian Beans.
But I did notice that all the online merchants had cases of something called either Heinz Beans or Heinz Beanz.
Heinz Beans and Heinz Beanz are both described as"Baked beans in a deliciously rich tomato sauce" and the ingredients seem to be pretty much the same. They're also not that different from my beloved Heinz Vegetarian Beans, though I don't think the kind I've been eating since I was wee are baked. I ordered a few cans of Heinz Beans and also a few of Heinz Beanz figuring, "How different can they be?"
Well, I found out: Very different. And not, to my taste, very good. So I called the Heinz Consumer Support number and spoke to a nice lady who told me Heinz has been having an immense shortage of many of their products since The Pandemic began. She assured me it's only temporary and there will come a day when the green cans of Heinz Vegetarian Beans will be as available as they ever were. But she declined to speculate on when that day might be.
I didn't say this but I would guess that they're putting all their resources towards making sure no one can't get Heinz Ketchup. They have a huge market share of ketchup consumption and might feel it would be jeopardized if people start having to try other brands. Some people don't seem to know that there are other brands.
But that's just a theory on my part. She consulted her computer to see where I might obtain some of the limited cans of Heinz Vegetarian Beans that are out there. No market within a hundred miles of me has the 8 ounce cans. Two small markets that are, respectively, eight and ten miles from me might (might!) have a few of the 16 ounce ones. I think I'll just patronize the Sellers' Market and pay what it'll cost to get some 16 ouncers from Amazon.
I also asked the lady on the phone what the difference is between Heinz Beans and Heinz Beanz. She said they're pretty much the same product but one is made in Canada and one is made in Great Britain. There are slight differences in the formula and one of those countries thinks the product is more commercial with the extra "Z."
I guess they're okay but you know how it is: You get used to a certain taste and your sensory buds get frustrated when they don't receive it. When I eat another brand of beans — I recently tried Bush's and VanKamp's — I'm not disappointed because I don't expect them to be exactly like the beans of my childhood. But when beans with the name "Heinz Vegetarian Beans" on the label don't taste like the Heinz Vegetarian Beans I've known all my life, they just taste wrong to me. I'm going to give my Heinz Beans and also my Heinz Beanz to my Cleaning Lady.