After a long period of finding nothing from the Trump folks in my e-mailbox, I've begun receiving a steady stream of messages like this…
Mark,
President Trump has texted you.
President Trump has emailed you…
We need you to understand how important this is, Mark.
We are concerned about missing our goal.
Our team ensured President Trump that we would do whatever it took to reach our goal. Therefore we knew we had to do something BIG.
We're INCREASING your impact offer from 700% to 800%.
Please contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY to CRUSH our FEC fundraising goal and your gift will be INCREASED by 800%.
The President knows that if we FAIL to hit our goal, the FAKE NEWS media and Radical Democrats in Washington will attack us all like never before. Mark, we are all counting on you.
We expect to hear from the President any minute, so you MUST HURRY. We know he is going to ask about you. AGAIN.
Don't make us tell him that you STILL haven't stepped up.
Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT for an 800%-IMPACT and get your name on the FEC Deadline Donor List.
And it's signed "Trump Fundraising Director" because whoever wrote this didn't want to put his or her name on it, I guess. I also suspect because of recent revelations about how past donations have not been used the way the solicitations said they'd be used, whoever wrote this was told to not specify just where the money would go.
I still don't get this "impact offer" thing. They seem to be saying that if I gave $100 yesterday, someone (who?) would match it 700%. And now that they're getting desperate, that person or group is willing to match it 800% if only Mark Evanier will kick in. But they won't make that urgently-needed donation if I don't. Or something.
Another message I received that was time-stamped ten minutes earlier said "President Trump keeps asking about you. He knows YOU are a TOP supporter who will ALWAYS have his back NO matter what. We are handing him the FINAL Donor List soon, and we want to make sure YOUR NAME is at the VERY TOP."
I kind of like the idea that every morning, Trump walks into the office and asks his staff, "Any money yet from Mark Evanier?" And when they say no, he hurls his lunch — ketchup and all — at the fireplace.