That's right: This is a post about corned beef. If you don't feel like reading a post about corned beef today, skip it or go find another blog. This is a post about corned beef.
I prefer corned beef to pastrami. I don't dislike pastrami. I just prefer corned beef. This shocks some of my Jewish friends and they don't buy the excuse that I'm really only half-Jewish. To them, pastrami is the nectar (well, the luncheon meat) of the gods whereas corned beef is just a stage that some cuts of meat will grow out of when they evolve and better themselves to become pastrami.
I have two reasons for preferring corned beef, one being the taste. Years ago, I used to often lunch with an old high school buddy named George and we made a kind of unofficial survey of local delicatessens. One of us would order corned beef on rye and the other would order pastrami on rye and we'd swap halves so we could each have both. We did this at Nate 'n' Al's, at Canter's, at Junior's, at Factor's and a few others. In each case, we both preferred the corned beef over the pastrami.
We even felt that way dining at the Stage Delicatessen during the few months when that New York institution tried and failed to open in Beverly Hills. (The Stage has since failed to remain in business in New York, as has the Carnegie, another place where I preferred the corned beef over the pastrami.)
In some cases, it was a small preference but since they were always the same price, why go with your second choice? And by the way: If you've never heard of Factor's, that's where Mel Brooks often eats so that alone establishes its credibility as a serious delicatessen.
We even did our Taste Test in downtown L.A. at Langer's, which treats it as settled law that they have the best pastrami, if not in the country then certainly this side of Katz's on East Houston Street in New York. Langer's pastrami was good, no question about that, but George and I both thought their corned beef was better.
Shortly after that, I lunched at Langer's with my agent and I placed my usual deli order of a corned beef on rye with no cole slaw anywhere on the premises. The server looked at me like I'd ordered Lasagna Bolognese at a Vegan Chinese restaurant and my agent began thinking of dropping me as a client.
And I have another reason for favoring corned beef over pastrami. In many delis — especially the ones that really pride themselves on their pastrami — a pastrami sandwich comes with a side of attitude about mustard. You sometimes get a smidge of disapproval if you ask for non-hot yellow mustard to put on corned beef but you often get treated like a dangerous heathen for wanting it on pastrami. Every time I see a video about Katz's in New York, I'm afraid to ask for French's or Heinz there…and with good, I think, reason.
As a person with many food allergies, I am adamant about eating what I want and not what someone else tells me to eat. I avoid restaurants that won't let you — to use the old Burger King jingle — "have it your way." Some restaurants don't want you putting ketchup on one of their burgers. I've been to those places. Or the chef insists on putting peppers on any meatball sandwich he makes. I wrote about such a place once.
I don't want to argue about this with someone who doesn't understand that this is more than a personal preference…it's a necessity. Spicy foods do not like my digestive system and the feeling is mutual. I'm especially scared of the kind of hot mustard that contains horseradish.
In L.A., I really like the corned beef in the delis I mentioned above — the ones that are still in business, at least. I also like it at Magee's in the Farmers Market, though I prefer their roast turkey. And I even have perfectly fine corned beef at home…
They carry these at the Costco stores around me — Bill Bailey's Microwaveable Corned Beef. It comes fully-cooked and you just heat it up…though I find it's way better if you don't heat it anywhere near as much as the directions tell you. (Remember: You're heating it up, not cooking it. When I followed the instructions, it went way past heating-up and became overcooked.)
I've written about these before, telling how they used to turn up at Costco in February and began disappearing after St. Patrick's Day. I'm hoping they're now there year-round. At least I hope they are because I go through about one a month, making little sandwiches with MY MUSTARD OF CHOICE now and then for a week or two. I make them small, as opposed to the kind you get served in some delis. The Stage, when it was in town, served you one that required you to dislocate your jaw in reptilian fashion to take a bite. And of course, they charge accordingly.
Costco also sometimes has fully-cooked pastrami if that's your preference. And once again, no one will try and shame you for applying what they consider the "wrong" mustard. You can even make your sandwich on white bread if you like…and sometimes, the non-Jewish side of me does.