Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 666

As my days-in-semi-isolation equal The Mark of the Beast, I decided to steal some words of wisdom from the blog of Kevin Drum

I think it's time to rein in the testing panic a bit. It's probably also time to rein in the overall COVID panic a bit, but this message is aimed more at the media than at ordinary people.

News coverage of COVID is just beyond belief these days. Newspapers, TV, and the internet are blanketed every day with stories about new COVID records; reports of new CDC recommendations; interviews with people who think the new CDC recommendations are stupid; feature stories about how COVID is affecting _______; op-eds accusing everyone else of being either too strict or too loose about COVID rules; essays about what we've all learned from COVID; news about how things are going in Israel; other news about why we should ignore how things are going in Israel; feelgood clickbait about people who braved COVID to see an old friend; stories about the latest antics from a red-state governor positioning himself for 2024; and of course all the latest statistics in an EZ-to-read dashboard format.

If you are vaxxed and boosted, your current odds of getting COVID are roughly 1 in 500 over the course of a month. If you're under 65, your odds of a serious infection are about 1 in 5,000. Your odds of dying are 1 in 200,000. Calm down.

As with so many matters in this world, it isn't always easy to find that sweet spot between paying too much attention to a problem and paying too little. I think fretting about what the next variant may be, when even the best doctors don't know, is probably too much. Not assuming there's still some danger in mingling with strangers is almost certainly too little. Someplace between those two yard markers is probably right and it's up to each of us to find it.

Today's Video Link

This should be self-explanatory…

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 665

Seth Meyers has tested positive for COVID. He tweets that he feels fine but that they're canceling the rest of their shows this week, which is surely the wise thing to do.

Meanwhile, Hugh Jackman is soon to resume his Harold Hilling duties in the revival of The Music Man on Broadway. They're reportedly expecting to have a lot of understudies and swings filling roles and I had a dream the other night that I went to see this show and before it started, a producer came out and asked the audience, "Is there anyone here with a recent negative test who knows the part of Marcellus Washburn?"

(I didn't really have that dream. If I had, it would probably have ended with me on stage leading the rest of the cast in "The Shipoopi.")

I guess it's a big Good News/Bad News joke, the Good News being that the current strain — assuming that's the one you get — isn't as lethal, especially for the well-vaccinated. The Bad News is that it's a lot harder to avoid. I still believe in presuming the worst in both categories.


The other day, I got a delivery from my local market and as I do, I specified "do not substitute" for most of the items, meaning that if you're out of my brand of honey-roasted ham, don't bring me another brand of honey-roasted ham. The "shopper" who filled my order was apparently new to the task and because of how he serviced not just my order but others, he has been dismissed. What he was doing was substituting anyway…and with some bizarre logic.

He did bring me the "wrong" brand of honey-baked ham and that at least makes some sense, even though I'd told him not to do that. But the market was also out of the brand of English Muffins I order and in that case, he brought me (and charged me for) a package of Barilla brand Penne Pasta. They apparently did have brands of English Muffins other than the one I requested but he decided if I couldn't have my favorite kind, I'd be happier with a box of Barilla Penne Pasta.

Basically the same thing.

Mostly though, it was different brands or different flavors. Out of fifteen items requested, six unwanted substitutions turned up on my front porch.

I called the market and they immediately issued me full credit for the six items…which I got to keep. I gave most of them to my cleaning lady but I tried the wrong brand of honey-roasted ham and decided it was better than the one I'd been ordering. I wonder if, with a substantial chunk of the grocery business veering into home delivery, anyone has thought to bring every customer a little bag of free samples clearly identified as such. The folks at Costco in the hairnets giving you a taste of this or that seem to motivate sales.

Today's Video Link

Back in December of 2010, I went to an event in Beverly Hills: Dick Cavett interviewing Mel Brooks.  It was supposed to be a promotion for Mr. Cavett's new book but it was really just Cavett (and us out in the audience) enjoying about 90 minutes of Mel's anecdotes.  Here's a story from that night.  Ignore the silly opening with Wink Martindale. Better still, ignore everything you ever see with Wink Martindale…

My Latest Tweet

  • I'm going to save the video of Andy Cohen on CNN's New Year's Eve telecast. If by some odd chance I ever get the notion to start drinking, it will remind me why I never have.

Mushroom Soup Monday

Another busy day here on the sprawling newsfromme campus.  Not one of the many staffers who write this blog has the time to post anything new besides this.  Don't worry.  It won't be like this all year.

Today's Video Link

Here's a clip from The Ed Sullivan Show for August 14, 1966. We have Jimmy Durante, Sonny King and some pretty strange choreography. I can't explain why but I always loved watching Jimmy Durante. He was 73 years and six months old when he did this and he still had all his old energy…

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 663

For 663 days now, I've taken my doctor's advice and largely isolated from the general public, the better to avoid that nasty thing that's going around. This hasn't been as hard for me as it has been for some people because I'm used to working at home. Also, a lot of events I might attend aren't happening and a lot of places I might go just plain aren't open.

January 2 (i.e., today) is an annual event at the Magic Castle and I always try to attend it. Many months ago when it looked like it might be safe by now, I got a reservation for tonight's event…but a few weeks ago with Omicron spreading faster than [MAKE UP YOUR OWN JOKE], I decided to cancel that reservation. And a few days later, the Castle management decided to postpone it until late February.

So it's been like that. I don't go out much. Only a few Trusted Individuals are allowed in. One day recently, one of those Trusted Individuals was here for a while and shortly after, got a COVID test that came back as Positive. No one panicked. No one had symptoms. I ramped up my isolation and waited five days, as directed by my doctor, to get my own test. Meanwhile, the Trusted Individual waited five days and got another test.

Both came back Negative so activities are now back to normal — or as close to "normal" as it gets these days. I still ain't going anywhere I'd be in a crowd.

I have friends who wouldn't (or maybe couldn't) live in such confinement. They didn't pick such a solitary profession for themselves and their need to be around others isn't appeased by ZOOM conferencing. I feel sorry for them but confident that it will end and there will be Life After COVID. I'm just not confident as to when.

Today's Video Link

Back here, I recommended Street Gang, a new documentary on Sesame Street that is now playing on HBO Max. In it, they play a long clip of "Put Down the Duckie," one of the more memorable songs to appear on that series. Here's a longer version of it complete with some great guest cameos. I especially laughed at Andrea Martin as Edith Prickley and at newsguy Robert MacNeil.

The furry (for some reason) owl is named Hoots and he was performed by Kevin Clash, the Muppeteer who gave Elmo his distinctive voice and personality.

Unmasking Kirkland

When you buy a Kirkland-brand product at Costco, you're not buying something made at the Kirkland Factory. There is no such place. Those products are made by other companies that have struck a deal with Costco to supply goods with the Kirkland brand. That other company may or may not have its own name on the product. For instance, some kinds of Kirkland tuna fish are actually Bumble Bee tuna. Here's an updated list of some Kirkland products and where they come from.

Happy Mushroom Soup New Year!

It's been quite a while since I posted a picture of a can of Campbell's Mushroom Soup to signify I was taking some or all of the day off from blogging. And it's about time. Happy This Year!