This article ran here on May 19, 2011. The Kmart of which I write is long gone from my neighborhood. The building actually turned into a museum of Britney Spears memorabilia before it closed for COVID and it's still shut tight.
Why did it stop being a Kmart? Because as we've discussed occasionally on this blog, Kmart and its sister company Sears have been mismanaged into near-oblivion. Once upon a time, there were 2,486 Kmarts in the world. Today, there are about a dozen. This piece may also suggest a reason for their decline…
My cleaning lady told me we were all out of Lysol. I said I'd pick some up and I forgot when I was at the market the other day. So I stopped this morning at the closest place to get some, which was a nearby Kmart.
In the parking lot, which also serves a CVS Pharmacy, a Whole Foods and a few other businesses, I ran into a lady I knew who used to have a high position at the NBC Network. We made small talk which got smaller when I mentioned I was on my way into the Kmart. She looked at me like I'd just said I was about to go down to Skid Row and bunk with the homeless people. "Why would you ever go into a Kmart?" she asked…and "To buy Lysol" turned out to not be much of an answer.
"It's just…" and here she was having trouble finding the words to express why that was wrong. The point was so obvious to her that it went without saying. Finally, she said, "Kmart is for the kind of people who'd shop at Kmart."
Well, hard to argue with that. I said, "I need some Lysol. They sell Lysol. What's wrong with going there to buy it?"
She pointed to the other end of the mall and said, "They probably have Lysol at the CVS store."
I said, "Yes…and it's the exact same Lysol and it's probably not any cheaper down there, plus the Kmart is closer."
When I noted it was the same Lysol, I suddenly reminded myself of something. Ten or fifteen years ago, I had to buy a small household appliance. I checked out Consumer Reports and they recommended a certain brand and a certain model. Let's say it was the Acme 74W. The next day, I was passing that Kmart and I ducked in to see if they had it. They didn't but they had the Acme 74X. I thought, "Well, how different could that be?" and I bought it.
Which turned out to be a mistake. It was a terrible product. I phoned up the Customer Service folks at the Acme Company (not the same one that makes Road Runner traps) and asked if I'd gotten a defective item or I didn't understand how to use it or what. I got an uncommonly honest person on the phone who told me basically that I'd purchased their crappy version. The 74W was a fine product. The 74X was a piece of junk.
"You should have looked at the price," she said. "The 74W is $65. Places like Kmart can't or don't want to sell it to their clientele so we designed the 74X for them. You probably paid about thirty bucks for it."
I looked at my Kmart receipt which I'd pulled out for possible returning purposes. "I paid $29.98," I told her. She said, "Well, there you are. I mean, it's a good thirty dollar appliance but it's like paying less than half of what you have to spend to buy a decent meal. Some people can't afford anything better. That's why they have the Value Menu at McDonald's."
I took her point. The $30 appliance went back to Kmart for a refund and I found the 74W online for $50 and ordered it. It worked fine.
If I'd been the Acme Company — which actually has a famous name, one you'd probably know — I don't think I'd be putting my brand on cheapo merchandise. I might service that marketplace with products under another trademark but I don't think I'd devalue my reputation by applying it to intentionally low-grade products. But that's another matter. Standing there in the parking lot, talking with the lady who used to work at NBC, I thought, She's right in a way. She's just not right about this particular example. They don't make a cheaper grade of Lysol.
At least, I don't think they do. The bottle I ended up buying said on it, "Kills All Germs!" not "Kills Some Germs and Not Others!"
She didn't want to shop at Kmart because of some sort of snobbishness. I don't mind shopping there but I've learned to be cautious of the mindset that the cheapest alternative is always the one you should buy, which is sometimes the dynamic you get in a place like Kmart.
But not always. Not long ago in a men's store, I found a kind of pajama that I really like. A pair was $40 and I'd been meaning to go back there and buy a couple more next time I'm in that area. Now I don't have to. While carrying my other purchase out of Kmart, I passed through their men's clothing section and found the same pajamas — and I mean exactly the same — for $19.95.
I just told this story on the phone to a friend of mine who remarked, "Great…but what if it turns out the $19.95 pajamas are so cheap because the people who make them in some primitive country have a deadly disease and it's transmitted through the material?" I thought for a second and replied, "Well, I guess that's what the Lysol is for…"