Monthly Archives: August 2021

• I have 50+ years in publishing and close to 20/20 vision. And I do not understand why art directors for print media think that if a page looks aesthetically pleasing, it's okay that no one, including the author, can actually read the copy on it.

• Some Republican leaders seem to think that between the threats of shootings and COVID, it's not quite dangerous enough for kids to go to school these days. Next, they'll probably want rabid coyotes roaming every campus.

Given all the catastrophic and potentially-catastrophic news around us, it's amazing that anyone has the time or effort to fret about who's going to host Jeopardy!, let alone get mad about it. But maybe that's the point. Maybe we sometimes need something inconsequential to get our minds off the consequential stuff. So I'll try writing about something that, when you get right down to it, doesn't really matter that much.

So the latest is that yesterday, they recorded the first five shows of the new season with this Mike Richards guy installed as the new permanent host. At the same time, there were all these new revelations of nasty things he'd said on podcasts and elsewhere. And this morning comes the news that he's "resigned," today's scheduled taping was canceled and the show will revert to guest hosts until a final, better decision is made.

There's a certain joy in corners of the Internet today. A lot of folks had come to loathe the guy because of who he is and/or how he got the job. A lot more celebrate, as we sometimes do, the sight of any Very Big, Wealthy Company making a Very Big, Costly Mistake.

And we have all this intrigue. What becomes of the five shows done yesterday? Presumably, Mr. Richards made comments about how honored he was to be the New, Permanent Host of Jeopardy! Do they air those words? Do they air those episodes? They have a current, ongoing Returning Champion and if he won on all five shows, do they not air them and just somehow announce that his Total Winnings jumped up on shows you'll never see? He probably didn't lose or we'd have heard but…well, you see the problem there.

Is Mayim Bialik going to get the post of hosting the syndicated shows? Or are they really doing more on-air auditions? It's a good day to not be the person who has to decide all this. And of course, it's a good day to not be Mike Richards, who has now achieved a notoriety that could (but probably won't) lead to him being the answer to a Final Jeopardy! question some day. He's still at this moment the Executive Producer of the show but that will change as some settlement is negotiated.

Here's what I think: Just pick somebody…anybody who can read and doesn't have a history of stupid, offensive remarks on the Internet. On this planet, there must be at least a hundred such people. The host doesn't matter that much.

Jeopardy!, since back in the days when Art Fleming hosted it, always struck me as a show you watch to play along; to think, "If I'd been a contestant, I would have won $13,500!"  That's usually a bit of self-deception based on the premise that in front of cameras and an America that includes all your friends, you would have come up with the same correct answers you came up with at home with nothing on the line.

You're also assuming that you would have consistently hit the little button ahead of both other players.  If you watch the show, you can often see two or all three of them trying to ring in at the same time.  You probably would not have "won" that part of the game all or even most of the time. But it's fun to pretend.

This will sound like blasphemy to some but I never thought even Alex Trebek mattered that much.  I don't mean he didn't do the job well.  He did it about as well as anyone could…long enough to feel like a vital component of that show. But I don't think he was that irreplaceable.

There are game show hosts who bring a lot of themselves to the proceedings to the point where some people probably tune in to watch the host.  Richard Dawson was that way on Family Feud…though I must say (more blasphemy) that I think the current host, Steve Harvey, does a much better job than any of his predecessors, Dawson included. I'm not saying he's the nicest, most deserving guy in the world. There are stories about him making the rounds, too. But he ad-libs better than almost any other game show host I've ever seen who was not named Marx.

Groucho, of course, was the only reason to tune in the old You Bet Your Life.  (I'm hearing, by the way, that the new revival with Jay Leno is in production and that it's skewing more towards his old "Jaywalking" segments, the point of which were to demonstrate how dumb some people could look on television. Oh, I hope not.)

On shows where the "fun" came from celebrity panelists, fine hosting work was done by Garry Moore and later Steve Allen on I've Got a Secret; by Gene Rayburn or the Match Games of various eras; and by John Daly on the original What's My Line? I don't think any of the revivals of those programs have stumbled onto the right combinations of host and panel members but the shows still work well enough to attract decent audiences.

But Jeopardy! is not about any of that. It's about you sitting home and feeling good when you get as many right as the folks on the show do. I've been suggesting here that Alton Brown would make a good host but he's gotta be off the list that he was probably never on by now. He had his own minor said-the-wrong-thing scandal recently. But when you come right down to it, almost anyone who's doesn't have such a scandal and is comfy in front of a camera and can pronounce all the words right could do it.

Sony probably thinks they need a woman to atone for picking a seeming misogynist. Okay…fine. There are plenty around who could do it, including CNN legal analyst Laura Coates, who Mr. Trebek mentioned as a good fit for the job. Just pick someone already.

French fried potatoes are usually great for about fifteen minutes before they get cold, soggy and undelicious. Here, the Internet's own Chef John suggests a way to re-crisp that which has gone flaccid. I haven't tried this yet but it sounds like it oughta work…and kudos to Chef John for not insisting you sprinkle Cayenne Pepper on them, as he does for everything else…

Yesterday, I had to wait in a long line at a CVS Pharmacy for a prescription and I didn't mind. The line was long because there was an unexpected (by the store) surge of people wanting to get vaccinations there. The lady who ultimately waited on me told me they were waiting for another employee — someone qualified to administer shots — to arrive. The one person on their staff who was qualified couldn't give the jabs and see that prescriptions were properly filled at the same time.

I have no idea what, if anything in particular, caused the stampede and I have no reason to think it was the same way at other CVSes, which I hope is the proper way to pluralize the store name. I got to talking with one young couple waiting for their jabs. "We finally decided it was time to get it done," the lady said. Maybe it just takes some people a while to get around to maybe saving their lives.

It was crowded in the store with folks not getting vaccinations, too. Every store employee was trying to do eleven things at once. The line to checkout if you didn't use the self-service option reached all the way to the next-closest CVS.

Around the pharmacy area, there was one older woman who kept asking — in way too loud a voice — where to find the Stool Softener. After the third or fourth such request, I said "And she really sounds like she needs it" and got a big laugh from everyone who heard me. It was not my proudest moment.

After I finally got my prescription, I picked up a few other items and then used the CVS self-service check-out to pay for them. I had coupons and my ExtraCare discount that took a $21.00 order down to $7.35. The machine then proceeded to spit out a checkout receipt so long that you could have wrapped it around the body of Pharaoh Tutankhamun in lieu of bandages.

The woman trying to checkout at the self-checkout counter next to me was utterly baffled as to how to use the thing. No store employee seemed to have the time to help her so I did — and when I saw that one of the items she was purchasing was Colace, I realized she was the Stool Softener Lady. She said to me, "I'm sorry…I've never used one of these checkout things before but I simply couldn't wait in that line for a human cashier." No, I guess she couldn't.

Here are scenes from another American musical in Korean. This is Spamalot and there's a segment in here with the actors discussing the play and their roles in it. But move the slider ahead to the five-minute mark and you'll see them perform "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"…

• Every so often, I think that maybe people with different viewpoints could come together in some sort of middle-ground compromise or understanding. Then I look at how many people get outraged over the question of whether pineapple belongs on pizza.

I long ago figured out that my life works best when I…

1. Plan ahead…
2. …but not so firmly that I'm thrown when things don't go as planned and I have to make a new plan or maybe even a series of new plans.

I know people who err both ways. They're constantly being caught by surprise by unexpected needs and events that they should have expected. Or, at the other extreme, they expect the universe to adhere to their schedule and don't understand that universes have a nasty tendency to not do that. And when things don't go the way they expected, they're clueless as to how to plot a new course. Sometimes, your G.P.S. takes you to a sign that says "Road Closed" and you have to figure out a new way to get when you're going.

One of the lesser but significant downsides to The Pandemic is it makes planning impossible. When things looked rosier than they do now, I bought semi-expensive tickets to see two of my favorite comedians perform locally — one in mid-October, one in mid-November. Those two dates and a few doctor appointments are just about all I have on my calendar.

Will I be going to those two shows? Wish I knew for sure. I don't even know if they'll have them. The October date is the third rescheduling of a show that was originally going to take place in June of 2020, then was postponed until February of 2021 and then to its new date. The question of whether I'll be in attendance on the new date starts with the unknowable — at the moment — question of whether Ricky Gervais will reschedule yet again.

And if it isn't, will I feel safe to go then? Again, that's unknowable — at the moment).

I've learned I just have to live that way. There are oodles of predictions out there about when our lives may normalize and I've decided it's easier to trust none of them. Some of them are educated guesses. Some are of the seriously-uneducated variety. So far, none of them have been right so I think this is one of those times when "I don't know" is the only reliable answer.

In the last few days, a half-dozen e-mails have asked me if I've heard anything about the announced Comic-Con Special Edition to take place November 26-28 in San Diego. It's darn near the only other thing on that calendar of mine.

Folks are asking me if I'm sure it's going to happen, when tickets might become available, when rooms might be rentable, if they'll require proof of vaccination, etc. Here's an absolutely true answer: I don't know. No one has told me anything lately.

The convention website says it's happening. The website of the San Diego Convention Center says it's happening. That's what I know. They've both said what they say for a while.

And I know one other thing: I know the people who run this convention are very skilled and very benevolent and they don't like keeping folks in suspense like this. If they had something firm they could tell us, they would. And when they do, they will. It's just one of those things that comes from living in such uncertain times.

The following is just me wondering aloud about something. I have spoken to no one in San Diego about this.

We currently have a recall election happening in this state. While I think Governor Gavin Newsom should stay in office — and have already voted accordingly — the polls have it as neck-and-neck.

If it doesn't go his way, the most likely person to replace him seems to be Conservative radio talk show host Larry Elder. Mr. Elder has zero experience in government which I gather is one of the reasons some of his backers back him. He has said, "When I get elected, assuming there are still facemask mandates and vaccine mandates, they will be repealed right away and then I'll break for breakfast."

This brings me back to I Don't Know territory. I don't know, of course, if Newsom will be turned out,  I don't know if Elder will replace him.

If Elder is elected, I don't know how far he would carry that pledge. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed off on a law banning cruise companies from requiring proof of COVID vaccines to board ships in his state. He seems to be losing that battle but that kind of fight rages on there and in other states. In what sorts of public places might Elder or any other Newsom replacement try to block requirements of masks and/or proof of vaccination? I don't know.

I don't know if the State Legislature has the power to overrule a governor on this kind of thing or if they would. I don't know if it will affect the Comic-Con. I don't know if it will affect the facility in which the event will be held if it indeed is held.

The Convention Center is not a private business. It's a nonprofit public benefit corporation formed by the City of San Diego. Its website has a lot about this current policies on this page. Here's one key excerpt…

In California, unvaccinated people are required to wear face masks in all indoor public settings, including our convention center. Policies for vaccinated guests vary by event. Our State and County are also following CDC guidance in recommending everyone wear a face mask in indoor public settings, whether you've been vaccinated or not. Individual event organizers may be more restrictive than this guidance.

Will the recall election change this in any way? You can probably guess my answer but in case you can't, I'll give you a hint: It's a three-word phrase that starts with "I."  The "I" is followed by a contraction and the phrase ends with the word "know."  If you can't figure it out and you find yourself saying "I don't know," you've got it!

I wrote myself a little note to remember to mention the birthday (though, being a gentleman, not which one) of Julie Newmar yesterday. And then I didn't do it. I guess it's because she's still stupefyin' and still the only person I've ever met who when I see her, I instantly think "Movie Star!" I've met lots of movie stars who didn't have that impact on me but Julie always has and always will.

Jeff Blair sent me this link to a gallery of photos of Julie as Catwoman. I'm passing it on to you with the reminder than that role was a very small part of an amazing, amazing career.

Matthew Yglesias on what we should and shouldn't have done with Afghanistan. I am no expert on any of this…which gives me much in common with all the people who are trying to put the blame on whoever in this country they want to see become less electable. But I think Yglesias explains well why there's so much blame to go around and that no one can escape some of it.

I've received quite a few messages from folks who remember the Banana Wackies cereal, not one of whom recalls it favorably. The nicest thoughts were from my buddy Paul Dini…

In response to your recent post, I have also used the expression "Banana Wackies" throughout my childhood and into adulthood.

And for the same reason — overexposure to those commercials. I actually tried the cereal though. It was unremarkable. The cereal pieces were Styrofoamy in taste, but the banana marshmallow bits were not bad. My sibs and I picked them out and squeezed them together to make banana marshmallow balls out of them. On the whole, I preferred Quisp when it came to mid-1960's junk cereals, and even now I still order it online.

I did consider using the expression "Banana Wackies" in a cartoon when when describing some crazy character, but I wasn't sure if I would be risking copyright infringement, so I changed it to "wacky bananas" instead.

And the following is from C.K. Wyman…

What I remember about Banana Wackies is that at age 10, I finally found a pre-sweetened cereal with cartoon characters on the box that I didn't want to eat. I did not then think such a thing was possible, though I came close with the original Lucky Charms. I think they've improved Lucky Charms since then because I had a few spoonfuls of it once when my son insisted I buy it for him and it wasn't as bad as I remembered.

If they still made Banana Wackies, I would not buy it for him no matter how many tantrums he threw, not because I wanted to spare him the agony of having that garbage in his mouth but because some court would pronounce me an unfit parent, take him away from me and throw me in a cell somewhere. And I'd deserve it.

I remember in the sixties eating one bowl of Lucky Charms at a friend's house and deciding that could last me for the rest of my life. I also remember the frustration that the cereals I did like were never the ones that offered the neatest prizes or offers. I'm sure I got my mother to buy me a number of cereals I would never have otherwise eaten because they had Hanna-Barbera characters on the front and inside, a Huckleberry Hound or a Yogi Bear something.

But as a kid, I think my favorite cereals — going just by what was inside the box — were Cheerios and Rice Krispies. This was when Huckleberry Hound was on Sugar Stars, Yogi Bear was on OKs, Snagglepuss was on Cocoa Krispies, Quick Draw McGraw was on Sugar Smacks, Pixie & Dixie and Mr. Jinks were on Kellogg's Raisin Bran…

No child should be pulled in that many different directions.

I posted this back in 2014. It's from John Oliver's third episode of Last Week Tonight on HBO and I just came across it again. This kind of smart comedy is why he wins the Emmy every year. And it is still sadly relevant…

I almost never watch Late Night with Seth Meyers on TV but I often catch highlights — especially his "A Closer Look" segments — online. They're real good. In case you didn't catch it tonight, here's what he did about the mess in Afghanistan…

• I just mailed my ballot in the California Recall Election. There should be a way I can now opt out of all the phone calls, e-mails, ads and possibly showing-up-at-my-door campaigners trying to sway my vote. My vote is gone. That's why some of us vote early.

As we all stare with what I call "The Springtime for Hitler" look at anti-vaxx/anti-mask efforts in our country, I try not to let it distract me from things I can actually do something about. But I paused to read this article by Jonathan Chait and I think he nails exactly what the problem is all about. It's Republicans who, having taken Trump's counsel that COVID was no big deal and would go away soon, trying to not admit how wrong he and his followers have been.