Monthly Archives: April 2021

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is from the Metropole Orchestra and features the great jazz trumpeter Clark Terry, who played with everyone including Count Basie, Duke Ellington and even the Tonight Show band for a long time. Like all jazz renditions of this song, it starts as the Flintstones theme we all know and then wanders off in other, delightful directions…

"A 412? What's a 412???"

If you don't get the reference, just ignore it. Here's this morning's most interesting news item…

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention eased its guidelines Tuesday on the wearing of masks outdoors, saying fully vaccinated Americans don't need to cover their faces anymore unless they are in a big crowd of strangers. And those who are unvaccinated can go outside without masks in some cases, too.

That's nice in some ways but it's a special boon to those who think mask-wearing has always been unnecessary for them and maybe for everybody. It means people won't yell at them on the street for going around without one…and the rest of us will wonder if that person not wearing a mask really is fully-vaccinated. A high percentage of Americans are not.

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It was announced this morning that the prolific TV-movie producer Charles "Chuck" Fries died last Thursday at the age of 92. I awoke this morning to a message from a reader of this site saying, "After reading an obit in today's Los Angeles Times, I thought I'd go over to newsfromme to search for articles about him. Except for a TeeVee Talk, the others were about potatoes…"

This reminded me that I need to seem to periodically remind folks that this blog is not devoted to writing about everyone in show business or comics, nor is it about posting obituaries for all of them. I post about people in those arenas whose deaths do not seem to me to be getting enough respectful attention and I also have to think that I have something worth saying about them — a special observation, a personal encounter, etc.

The fact that I don't write about someone doesn't mean I hold a grudge against them or think they weren't important or anything of the sort. I just had nothing to say. I occasionally get an angry e-mail that says "Why didn't you write about So-and-so? Did you hate them or something?" No. I hate no one. I just had nothing to add…and sometimes, I just never heard of them.

I dunno if the guy who wrote to me this morning knew I'd worked briefly for Chuck Fries' company. He might have but not known that even though I was paid by his firm, I never met Mr. Fries. I know nothing about him you can't find out by reading obits like this one or this one. I simply have nothing to contribute.

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is an a cappella version by Kartiv2 and of course, it features monkeys from Hampi in India…

My phone number must have gotten on a new list that's sold to scammers because the number of such calls has increased a lot the last week…

• Three robocalls that claim to be from Social Security telling me my number's been suspended…
• One call telling me that the MAC computer I don't own is hopelessly infected with viruses that are spreading my credit card info around the globe…
• A call from an agency that says there's a lien on my home and I'll be evicted within 48 hours but of course, they can help me…
• An agency that wants some data from me so they can ship me the new, life-saving back brace that they say my doctor ordered for me (although they don't know his name) and I say he didn't…

…and then there's this call that came in about an hour ago,  A youngish-sounding lady who said she was named Linda (so I assume she is not named Linda) ascertained that I was Mark and then — well, here. I'll let you listen in…

NOT LINDA: This is Linda with the Health and Wellness Center calling to do this year's evaluation…

ME: What in the name of Dr. Oz is the Health and Wellness Center?

NOT LINDA: We're an agency that works with your physician to evaluate your health and wellness and to connect you with supplies you need. According to my records here, I spoke to you last year on April 26.

ME: According to my memory here, you didn't speak to me last year — or ever, unless you were the lady who tried to get me to extend the expired warranty on a car I never owned.

NOT LINDA: Oh no, we definitely spoke last year. I have the complete record of our evaluation in front of me.

ME: Really? What was wrong with me then?

NOT LINDA: This is confidential material. We do not disclose the medical information that we collect.

ME: You're keeping that information secret from the person who told it to you?

NOT LINDA: I don't make the policies here, sir. Now, if you'll just answer a few questions…

ME: You said you work with my physician. I changed physicians last year. Which one are you working with?

NOT LINDA: Again, we don't give out that information.

ME: You can't tell me who my doctor is? Let's try it this way. Is it Doctor Geisel?

NOT LINDA: Yes, yes, Doctor Geisel. I have his name along with all your other doctors right here.

ME: You know, Linda, I know we have a long relationship dating all the way back to last year when you didn't call me but I'm beginning to think you're lying to me.

NOT LINDA: Sir, I assure you I am not.

ME: But that's okay because I just lied to you. I didn't change physicians last year and my doctor's name is not Doctor Geisel. But tell me…do you enjoy doing this all day? I mean, calling up strangers and lying to them?

NOT LINDA: Listen, I'm just trying to make a living.

ME: That's what I said when I held up that liquor store and shot the manager. And yes, I'm lying to you again. It was a 24 hour Subway sandwich place.

And that was where she hung up on me. I can't stop these calls from coming in and I'd vote for Donald Trump if he could. But at least I can have a little fun with them. And generate some content for this blog.

Meet Rollie, a southern three-banded armadillo. And thank Eric Gjovaag for telling me about Rollie, the southern three-banded armadillo…

To the surprise of no one…

The 93rd Academy Awards tried to cover for a lost year in film with a boatload of intrigue: A change in venue that allowed for a maskless audience, a movie-style production led by director Steven Soderbergh, and a change in format with a surprise ending. None of that could save the Oscars from turning in the lowest rated telecast in the show's history — by a sizable margin.

The prestigious awards show drew an average of 9.8 million viewers for ABC on Sunday, according to early Nielsen numbers. That's 58% below the ratings from last year's show, the previous lowest-rated Oscars, which brought in in 23.6 million viewers.

I caught about three minutes of The Oscars in online clips. The "In Memoriam" reel was probably quite good if you'd graduated from the Evelyn Wood Academy of Speed-Reading.

Actually, I caught the whole thing on my TiVo but didn't watch any of it there…but I may. A lady friend asked that I record it in case she wants to watch it in Frequent Fast-Forwarding mode one of these days.  I doubt we will. I not only hadn't seen any of the nominated movies, I hadn't even heard of most of them. If we do watch, we'll get through the thing in about the time they allotted for the "In Memoriam" reel.

Scanning the web this morn, I see a few folks who loved the ceremony but most seem to have thought it was abysmal…and most of them seem to have forgotten that that's the normal morning-after-the-Oscars consensus. It's always a few people loving it but a lot of people saying it was the worst Academy Awards show ever, which is what they said about last year's and the one before and the one before and the one before…

We live in a world where this year's Oscarcast is always the worst ever and we long for the good ol' days of previous Oscarcasts which we once called the worst ever.

Any minute now, the ratings — which have been widely-projected as the lowest ever — will be out. Assuming they live down to those projections, many reasons will be cited, most of them Pandemic-related. While those will all be valid, I hope someone remembers another possibility: That audiences are just getting sick of seeing people they consider grossly-overpaid and over-honored celebrating each other for the greatest achievement that any human being can possibly achieve — being involved with a memorable movie.

For those of you whose Sunday nights are not complete without a little John Oliver…

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one, for which I have Jim Newman to thank, is by Tom Kaufmann playing his limestone lithophone. This is a very appropriate instrument on which to play this song…

Mike Everleth read what I wrote about the show I did for Kroffts with the Bay City Rollers and he has three questions…

1. What was the order of production? Did you do all the season's musical performances in a few days? Then film the Krofft character sequences?

Each show that was produced was made up of about ten different segments — opening musical number, opening monologue, "Horror Hotel" segment, "Lost Island" segment, comedy blackouts with the Rollers, etc. We wrote thirteen of each segment in advance, working out of the offices the Kroffts then had out in the Valley. Then the whole operation moved into offices on the KTLA lot in Hollywood and we began taping and filming.

I don't remember the order these were done but we shot thirteen opening numbers over a day or three, then thirteen monologues over a day or three, then thirteen of this and thirteen of that. Finally, someone — happily, not I — went into an editing room for a couple of weeks and assembled thirteen hour shows which were later cut into thirteen half-hour shows.

2. Was the concert audience there all the time? The opening scene feels like there's no audience, but we do see them later. And why are they seated so far away from the band?

The live audience was brought in for one or two days when we were shooting some of the musical numbers. Footage of the audience was then edited into other musical numbers or material where we wanted the sense of it being done in front of an audience. But a lot of it wasn't. That was pretty standard practice for variety shows then.

Want to hear about one of the easiest jobs I've ever had in show business? The other two writers — Rowby Goren and Lorne Frohman — and I took turns doing the audience hosting for those tapings. Doing "warm-up" for bleachers full of fourteen-year-old girls who were about to see The Bay City Rollers perform was like throwing medium-rare filet mignon out to a band of starving coyotes. At one point, the Stage Manager came over and told me the director had asked me to change the "warm-up" into a "cool-down."

I don't know why the audience wasn't closer. Maybe the guy who designed the set-up was afraid the young ladies there would storm the stage and devour our stars. But I don't think there was as much distance as it appeared on the TV screen.

3. Where was this filmed? On just one set, i.e., was the same spot used for the concert and "Horror Hotel," just dressed differently? Or was there a big soundstage with different sets?

The film stuff with the Rollers running around an amusement park was shot one day at Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park, not far from Disneyland. There was another day of filming visual gags at a park in Burbank. Everything else was taped on Stage 6 at KTLA where hundreds if not thousands of network and syndicated TV shows were taped.

They set the whole thing up for the musical numbers and we did those. Then over a weekend, they took every bit of that scenery out and installed the sets for "Horror Hotel" and after we shot thirteen of those, those sets disappeared and were replaced by the sets for "Lost Island" and so on.

I worked on several TV shows on Stage 6 there and it was amazing how it could be a dense jungle in there on Tuesday and on Wednesday, they were taping Solid Gold or a game show in there. A lot of the "magic" of television is made by set designers, the tech crew and super-heroes who are referred to as "grips."

I should mention: On Stage 6, we also taped a prime-time special for NBC with the Bay City Rollers and also a syndicated special. These were done after the Saturday morning series so the stage crew had to bring back parts of the concert set and bring back parts of the "Horror Hotel" set and others, and we brought in another live(ly) audience one evening for the music portions of that show.

The NBC one was a done-at-the-last-minute quickie to promote that year's new Saturday morning series and I think we wrote it in three days, taped it in two and delivered it to the network about an hour before it had to air on the East Coast. I did a number of those Saturday morn preview specials — at least one for each of the three major networks then — and they were included in a recent series by the fine writer Andy Mangels, who wrote a multi-part history of such programs for RetroFan magazine.

Have you ever tried cooking with clarified butter, aka ghee? I haven't but it seems popular with some of the online chefs whose videos I watch in a usually-fruitless search for a recipe I feel like I could prepare. Usually, that's limited to egg dishes but only the part where I crack the eggs into a bowl and then spend some time fishing out pieces of shell.

But Friday morning, I was in a Trader Joe's and I spotted a jar of ghee and thought, "Why not?" I have no specific cooking adventure in mind for it but according to the date stamped on the jar, I have 186 years, 9 months and 10 days to use it…and then on 2/4/2208, it won't even be inedible. It just won't be at its best. I probably have at least half a century after that before it might taste rancid or stale.

I should be able to figure out a use for it by then. And just in case I can't and it survives me, I've got that all figured out. I'm going to put a clause in my will leaving what's left in the jar then to Elroy Jetson. Maybe he can share it with Astro.

Yesterday, I linked you to a video of the "Springtime For Hitler" number from the musical of The Producers as it was performed in Germany. We discussed how it contained the "dance challenge" segment that was in the number when it was trying-out in Chicago but cut when it moved to Broadway.

Here's a clip of the same number from that Chicago try-out with the "dance challenge" still a part of it. And it's in English. Thanks to someone named Brian who apparently has no last name…

Another rendition of the "Meet the Flintstones" theme. This one is by the Bow-Tie Bigband…

This kind of thing amazes me. As you may know, there's a recall drive in California to remove Gavin Newsom from the governorship. Polls and common sense tell us it's not likely to pass. Newsom's approval ratings is about the same as the percentage of the vote he won in the last election. But crusaders like Caitlyn Jenner have been urging Newsom's ouster and Jenner has announced a run for his seat.

A little while ago, Jenner tweeted this…

This person who wants to the governor of California does not know that the governor of California has no District Attorneys.  District Attorneys in this state are elected at the county level by a vote of The People and are in no way commanded by the governor.

Shouldn't you understand what a job involves before you apply for it?

In 1978, I was the Head Writer on The Krofft Superstar Hour, a live-action variety and adventure series on NBC's Saturday morning schedule. It featured the Bay City Rollers, a once-popular Scottish rock group, mixed in with a bevy of other characters left over from other Saturday morn shows from the world of Sid and Marty Krofft. The program didn't perform well in the ratings as an hour but after they cut it to a half-hour and renamed it The Bay City Rollers Show, it did well enough that NBC reran the thirteen episodes for several years.

Like I said, it starred the Bay City Rollers and at the time, the Bay City Rollers starred Les McKeown, their lead singer. The Rollers were all great guys but not all of them were happy to be in Los Angeles doing a kids' show instead of in Europe or elsewhere, touring and performing for older audiences. They were also not all that happy to be called upon to speak and act and serve as hosts, which was not what they did best.

Furthermore, their thick Scottish accents caused a lot of problems — for us because most of them simply could not deliver some lines in a manner that American audiences might understand; for them because even getting them close to intelligible meant long, long hours with a dialogue coach. (Actually, it was a good warm-up for us folks behind the cameras. The next show most of us worked on for the Kroffts starred two Japanese ladies who could not speak English. Compared to them, the Rollers were all professional announcers.)

And then there was the fact that the Rollers were fighting — mostly Leslie against the other four. Derek, Alan, Woody and Eric lived somewhat happily together while in L.A. in a big house in the Valley that Marty Krofft owned. Les had to be housed elsewhere, lest someone kill someone.

What was the battle about? I honestly never found out, though it seemed to have something to do with four of them thinking they were a five-man band and one of them (guess which one) thinking they were one star with four back-up singer/musicians. Fortunately for us, they were professional enough to keep most of that out of the studio and to fully honor their contractual commitments. In fact, all five were often apologetic about the frictions and speaking limitations they brought to the program.

In the photo above, Les is the guy on the top with his hands on the shoulders of Alan (left) and Eric (right).  Woody is below Alan, Derek is below Eric and the lady in the center is the wonderful Billie Hayes in her role as Witchiepoo.

As you've figured out by now, this is an obit for Les, who died last Tuesday at the age of 65.  To quote the New York Times, "His family announced the death in a statement on social media. The statement said he died at his home, but did not say where that was or specify the cause."

I got along fine with all of them.  They were all good musicians and Les was great at exuding all the charm and sex appeal it took to be the lead singer in a Boy Band…and probably still does.  Given that I still get occasional questions about what it was like to work with them (or just him), it would seem he and they made a lasting impression on a lot of people.